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Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
Raisondeetre · 13/01/2026 22:44

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 13/01/2026 22:09

@OttersMayHaveShifted the mattress is a Hypnos Lansdowne Cashmere Mattress -Super King (180x200)

its fairly firm but I love it

Edited

Ooh that’s helpful. I’m desperate for a new mattress. Did you buy it from Hypnos direct?

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 13/01/2026 23:21

Raisondeetre · 13/01/2026 22:44

Ooh that’s helpful. I’m desperate for a new mattress. Did you buy it from Hypnos direct?

Hello, no, I bought it from https://chalet-shop.com/hypnos/#Compare

it was reduced to £1.9k but this was 2024

Hypnos Mattresses - Chalet Shop

Explore Hypnos' range of Luxury Hotel mattresses including the Evesham, Beaumont, Lansdowne and Woolsleepers collection.

https://chalet-shop.com/hypnos#Compare

Whowhenwhat · 14/01/2026 00:09

I am very slowly decluttering my home. And refusing to buy more 'stuff'. That's my big goal for this year.

I open letters as soon as I receive them, I'd rather know what's in them than delay and waste energy worrying.

Olive42 · 14/01/2026 04:29
  • Significantly reduce social media use..
  • only say yes to things I want to do socially. Learn how to maintain boundaries respectfully with others (still working on this).
  • do three small household chores each morning and evening - cuts down housework at weekends. This was a huge source of stress for me:
AM make bed Empty dishwasher 3 min tidy

PM. Reset kitchen after dinner
Something laundry related
10 min tidy

  • employ cleaners for a deep clean every six months.
  • bought a Shark flex style hairdryer / cuts down styling time
  • my work is very full on but am trying to not let myself take things personally )very difficult), have a realistic to do list and to take a full 30 minute lunch break each day just for me. Need to try and build in some light stretching during the working day and find some space on my own.
Olive42 · 14/01/2026 04:36

Oh yes and bought a lovely cat who shows me what’s really important in life - exploring, getting outside, sleeping, eating and being affectionate (when he wants!)

abracadabra1980 · 14/01/2026 04:50

Divorced
Dog walker
Try to sub consciously STOP MAKING PILES. Really helps.
Handyman/lady whenever I can afford
Downsized = clearing out was wonderful - even a smaller bed made changing the sheets easier and loads more dog walks from my doorstep (main hobby)
Reduced social media interaction bar Mumsnet and FB Marketplace/Dog groups
Semi retired so I can fit life around my dogs-self employed so free to choose my hours and like my job
Keep one clear room upstairs that is sunny, large mirror, clear desk, yoga mat, ie upstairs lounge.
No ironing
Lightweight cordless lawnmower - game changer for bad backs
Stopped people pleasing and learned to use boundaries

PersephoneParlormaid · 14/01/2026 07:16

Whowhenwhat · 14/01/2026 00:09

I am very slowly decluttering my home. And refusing to buy more 'stuff'. That's my big goal for this year.

I open letters as soon as I receive them, I'd rather know what's in them than delay and waste energy worrying.

I open letters and put the envelope straight in recycling. When I was going through my files there were so many envelopes and pamphlets that I didn’t need, being stored in my house.

OP posts:
Silverbirchleaf · 14/01/2026 07:19

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 13/01/2026 21:42

Searching for an email, say Amazon and then selecting all from that company/address and deleting. In some cases there were well over a 100 emails from one place. When you go on the search option it can give you an email address and you just get a list of all the emails sent from them, so know you aren't deleting anything you want to keep.

It took a bloody long time, but I got a bit obsessed!

That’s how I do it. Choose a company such as ‘ Gramge hill ltd’, search for all their emails, then just delete them.

Plus as new emails come in, I delete and unsubscribe from them.

I shall be doing another batch tonight during Traitors. .

Silverbirchleaf · 14/01/2026 07:27

RobinTheCavewoman · 13/01/2026 22:21

I play Radio 3 Unwind throughout the day - highly recommend!

Just put it on. Really lovely and relaxing and something I wasn’t aware of and wouldn’t normally listen to.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 14/01/2026 09:27

Nitgel · 09/01/2026 07:55

Watch tv from the 60s 70s and 80s. Better storylines. Intelligent and no loud soundtracks.

This is exactly what we've been doing for the past few years! It's odd how much nicer life seems now, looking through the TV of the past. Even stuff from the 90s and early 2000s has proven to be very entertaining. We've recently watched Only When I Laugh, Citizen Smith, A Touch of Frost, Inspector Morse and its spin-offs, Watching, Clocking Off, Northern Lights and its spin-offs, and many other things!
Life now just seems so harsh in comparison.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 14/01/2026 09:56

Things I've done to make my life better - threw away the iron. Did this during lockdown and have never looked back. My life is too short to be doing everybody's ironing! I just dry the clothes in a way that they don't need ironing anymore!
Also, I've stopped saying yes to things I really don't want to do. Amazing how freeing that is!
The other, probably most important, thing I do now, is ask for help! I used to get so stressed out by taking on everything, but, now, I just ask for help if I need it. It's a simple thing, but, there is no use being a martyr - it does you no favours!

coolcahuna · 14/01/2026 09:59

@DriveMeCrazy1974 I'm with you on this totally !! I've just said no to something I said yes to under a bit of coaxing..I don't want to do it so I'm putting myself first.

One of my friends was struggling with something recently.. would she ask for help..nope..not sure if it's sorted now. I offered to help.

These are great things to practice as we go through 2026.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 14/01/2026 10:06

coolcahuna · 14/01/2026 09:59

@DriveMeCrazy1974 I'm with you on this totally !! I've just said no to something I said yes to under a bit of coaxing..I don't want to do it so I'm putting myself first.

One of my friends was struggling with something recently.. would she ask for help..nope..not sure if it's sorted now. I offered to help.

These are great things to practice as we go through 2026.

Absolutely! Life is too short to get involved with things that you don't want to do. I don't know, why, as women, it is just assumed by some people that we will happily say yes! Since I've said no to some people, I've noticed they've not asked again and I am perfectly fine with that! :)

Sunshinedayscomeon · 14/01/2026 11:00

Daily yoga and mediation. Never thought it would work but it does.
Accepting that some people are dickheads and it's their problem not mine.
Listening to my inner gut.

darkmoondarksun · 14/01/2026 11:10

coolcahuna · 14/01/2026 09:59

@DriveMeCrazy1974 I'm with you on this totally !! I've just said no to something I said yes to under a bit of coaxing..I don't want to do it so I'm putting myself first.

One of my friends was struggling with something recently.. would she ask for help..nope..not sure if it's sorted now. I offered to help.

These are great things to practice as we go through 2026.

good going @coolcahuna @DriveMeCrazy1974

I need help with saying no.

Take this weekend as an example .. I was wanting a quiet night in Fri & Sat with DH, at home, in the warmth, door firmly closed and going nowhere. I need the downtime. But, a friend of mine is at a loose end Saturday night and asking me what I am doing this weekend .. I see it as a hint to gage if I am free sat night. I feel bad saying I cant see her, she will ask why and I will say something along the lines of ''because I want a night on the sofa doing nothing''. She already feels let down on Saturday night due to wider issues, hence the loose end, and then I say no too ..

I have no plans as such , ..or do I ? my plan is the sofa. I also feel like she is looking for anyone who is free to keep her company, she will have seen me twice this week already.

godmum56 · 14/01/2026 11:18

darkmoondarksun · 14/01/2026 11:10

good going @coolcahuna @DriveMeCrazy1974

I need help with saying no.

Take this weekend as an example .. I was wanting a quiet night in Fri & Sat with DH, at home, in the warmth, door firmly closed and going nowhere. I need the downtime. But, a friend of mine is at a loose end Saturday night and asking me what I am doing this weekend .. I see it as a hint to gage if I am free sat night. I feel bad saying I cant see her, she will ask why and I will say something along the lines of ''because I want a night on the sofa doing nothing''. She already feels let down on Saturday night due to wider issues, hence the loose end, and then I say no too ..

I have no plans as such , ..or do I ? my plan is the sofa. I also feel like she is looking for anyone who is free to keep her company, she will have seen me twice this week already.

Edited

reframe it to "having family time" You aren't saying "no" to her, you are saying "yes" to what you already have arranged.
Her "what are you doing this weekend?"
You "oh it will be lovely, DH and I have had a hectic time lately and we are going to spend time together reconnecting"
If you want to be firmer/clearer "we do try to keep the weekends for us as weekdays are so busy"

PS It is important that you reframe it in your own mind and feelings and not just when you speak to her. It sounds to me that you aren't valuing family down time as much as you maybe should?

IleSolitude · 14/01/2026 11:23

"I've been really busy lately so I'm planning a quiet night in both nights".

3luckystars · 14/01/2026 12:52

You could say ‘ you are welcome to come over to here and watch a film with me if you want but I’m too tired to do anything else.’ That’s if you actually want to do that.

If not then say that you have a date and you will see her another time. No agonising. Say yes to yourself.

3luckystars · 14/01/2026 13:17

I saw these today and thought they suited this thread:

Things you have done to make your life better/calmer
Missj25 · 14/01/2026 13:53

darkmoondarksun · 14/01/2026 11:10

good going @coolcahuna @DriveMeCrazy1974

I need help with saying no.

Take this weekend as an example .. I was wanting a quiet night in Fri & Sat with DH, at home, in the warmth, door firmly closed and going nowhere. I need the downtime. But, a friend of mine is at a loose end Saturday night and asking me what I am doing this weekend .. I see it as a hint to gage if I am free sat night. I feel bad saying I cant see her, she will ask why and I will say something along the lines of ''because I want a night on the sofa doing nothing''. She already feels let down on Saturday night due to wider issues, hence the loose end, and then I say no too ..

I have no plans as such , ..or do I ? my plan is the sofa. I also feel like she is looking for anyone who is free to keep her company, she will have seen me twice this week already.

Edited

DO NOT FEEL BAD !!!
I am single , I have 2 Close friends , 1 in long term relationship, other married .
We all work , my friends , their partners, me .
I never ever ask them to meet up on a weekend night , I know it’s time with their partners/ kids .
We meet instead for a day time lunch or a walk on the beach with a coffee.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 14/01/2026 14:08

darkmoondarksun · 14/01/2026 11:10

good going @coolcahuna @DriveMeCrazy1974

I need help with saying no.

Take this weekend as an example .. I was wanting a quiet night in Fri & Sat with DH, at home, in the warmth, door firmly closed and going nowhere. I need the downtime. But, a friend of mine is at a loose end Saturday night and asking me what I am doing this weekend .. I see it as a hint to gage if I am free sat night. I feel bad saying I cant see her, she will ask why and I will say something along the lines of ''because I want a night on the sofa doing nothing''. She already feels let down on Saturday night due to wider issues, hence the loose end, and then I say no too ..

I have no plans as such , ..or do I ? my plan is the sofa. I also feel like she is looking for anyone who is free to keep her company, she will have seen me twice this week already.

Edited

Just say no! You don't owe her an explanation. You deserve to be able to just have an evening doing nothing, if that's what you want to do. It doesn't make you a bad friend. In fact, a bad friend would go along with it and then feel resentful which would probably come out at some point.

ScrollingLeaves · 14/01/2026 19:07

This thread is inspiring because it is clear changes for the better really can be made out of the simplest things - even with the exception of divorce, which is not simple, as it is very heartening to see how much it has been for the best in the cases related here.

Thank you again, OP.

Lastgig · 14/01/2026 19:20

This thread inspired me to do three things:

Accept retirement
Say no thank you to a new employer
Post I'm shutting up shop on socia media

I feel so free.

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 14/01/2026 19:49

I’ve thought of another thing. I wear glasses so I bought a pack of 200 lens wipes. I have some in my bedside drawer, some next to the sofa, some in my study and several in my handbag. So nice to always have something to clean my glasses within arms reach.

coolcahuna · 14/01/2026 20:41

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 14/01/2026 14:08

Just say no! You don't owe her an explanation. You deserve to be able to just have an evening doing nothing, if that's what you want to do. It doesn't make you a bad friend. In fact, a bad friend would go along with it and then feel resentful which would probably come out at some point.

Honestly just say you have plans ! When I was single, I would never have expected my coupled friends to see me on a Saturday evening unless they suggested it.
Your time is your own and is valued. It's why I'm saying no to the request that's been made of me - I don't want to, don't need to, it's going to take up time and make me feel stressed. Harsh but fair.