Those who have had a termination, do you regret it?

[ALittleUnsure1]

I'm newly pregnant with our third and I'm overwhelmed with the feeling this would be a bad idea for our family. We have two happy healthy children and a good life and I'm scared to mess that up. With three, we'd be financially and emotionally stretched. On the other hand, I don't know if I could handle the guilt of aborting their sibling. I know it's just a bundle of cells right now but if I did nothing it would grow into a baby. I'd make the choice to cut that life down. Those who have decided to terminate a pregnancy, do you ever regret it? Or years down the line are you happy with your decision?

No sadness and no regrets. It was absolutely the right decision and it barely crosses my mind nowadays. I use 2 methods of contraception but I wouldn't think twice about having another abortion if I was somehow to fall pregnant again.

I am however grateful to live in a place where I can make my own choice for my own body

Different circumstances but yes I’ll regret mine forever. I was only 18.

40 years ago in my early twenties, I was engaged to the man I subsequently married and had children with. No regrets. It was not the time emotionally, financially or practically to have a baby. Had it done surgically on the NHS as was the norm at the time, of the 6 women on the ward another girl and I were the only ones without existing children.

No.

I was young and did it at 6 weeks, so the earliest point I could. No regrets whatsoever but then I can emotionally detach from things

It made me feel really sad and I was pressured into it as I was very young however if I didn’t have a termination I would have been tied forever to a man who abused me and probably would struggled along in life

I had one before I had my current children, so bit of a different situation to yours.

The pregnancy just felt ‘wrong’. It was bad timing and I didn’t want a baby.

I felt a bit sad after it, but I knew it was the right decision & I don’t regret it at all. It never crosses my mind.

I had a tfmr and I don't regret it at all. I never thought about it as a baby although the pg was planned, and I don't think about it or remember the dates. For me it was nothing more than an inconvenience on the journey to having dc2, with a mild annoyance that it meant dc2 was born later, with a bigger age gap and later birthday.

Just wanted to add that there are times when I ponder what could have been if my husband didn't have a vasectomy (when i was 6 months pregnant). No second baby involved but I think it still resembles what some people would call sadness or regret..

Every decision comes with opportunity costs. I still know it was the right decision for us as we can only afford to give 1 child the life we know he deserves. That isn't something that is going to change in the next 5 years and I am already 33.

aged 21 had a termination. Not with the boyfriend any more. Feel okay about this but still think about it perhaps once a week

aged 34 and unplanned with baby 3. Went to an abortion clinic. Couldn’t do it. Felt haunted for weeks and then decided to keep the baby fully about 4 weeks after finding out. Baby is here and I now feel physically sick that I considered abortion. I feel horrendous that I almost did that

I had a termination when I was young. Wrong time and wrong partner.
I went on to have 2 children and decided that 2 made our family complete.
if a third had happened by accident I would have carried on with the pregnancy. I loved being pregnant so much and the love I felt when they were born did change my view on abortion but only in regard to myself.
I have no regrets around my termination it was definitely the right decision
Honestly I would keep the baby but that is your choice not the opinions of strangers on the internet,
Whatever you decide I wish you love and strength, only you know what is right for you and your family.

I had a termination when I was 18, I’ve never regretted it. It was right for me at the time. I think with children already you need to think about the impact of another child on them as well as your self

Yes when younger. For a long time I considered the baby was killed. Now I’m married with DC I feel nothing but relief I went ahead with it.

I was early 20’s with a dp who was into ‘addiction’ that deep down I knew would impact the future life of the unborn baby and probably get worse.

Thr initial date of the termination I had to change as he was doing an activity he enjoyed (had not yet paid for) and refused to miss out, it was miles and miles away and I had not told a soul and had no one to support me.

On the day I had a wobble and he left me there alone (other women had their dp’s stay).

I ended the relationship about 4-5 years later a nd it was a relief to not have that forever link to him and put my kid in a position where his father would let him down. Yes I believe it was a boy and think of him- what would be regularly.

He would be 25 now and I could easily cry when I think about him - ironically my best mate has a so. Of the same age and is tied to her sons dad still and has lots of problems from him.

I regretted it most when having lost pregnancies since.

It was still the right decision though.

I’m perhaps an outlier here because 30 years on, my heart still hurts every day when I think of what I did. I very much regret it but that is ME, not you. I wish that at the time, I’d had people to speak to about my options- I feel that much of my heartbreak is related to unprocessed feelings around the whole decision making process and not just the finality of the decision.
In your shoes I’d speak to people you trust, and get some counselling. Then you should do what - having soul searched- is right for you and your family. If you do this then I think that your decision (regardless of what it is) will be easier to live with.

Probably similar situation to you. Had a DC, she is wonderful and I thought I wanted another but when it came to it, I did not. I kept hoping that something would be wrong and I wouldn’t have to make the choice.

I deeply regret putting myself in that situation but I do not regret going through with the termination. I so desperately wanted to be someone who wanted a bigger family.

i don’t regret mine it was 31 years ago I was 18 and my boyfriend was 25 and he left me. If I hadn’t have had it done I wouldn’t have gone out the night I did in October 1995 and met a man who I married 7 months later and had our 1st out of 6 children 2 months after we got married, we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in May.

I do think about the baby and what my life would have been like if I had kept her( no idea if it was a girl just my feelings it was) she would have been 31 this year but I wouldn’t have had my other children or my don have his children if I had kept her.

No regrets at the time. Nor since. It was absolutely the right decision for my family and existing DC. I don't think my marriage would have survived another child.

I had an abortion 25 yrs ago. I felt relieved. Overjoyed to not be pregnant. Have never regretted it for one split second. Best decision I made.

It’s ok to feel sad about but still realise it’s the right decision.
maybe not helpful I have 3 DC Third unplanned one silly drunken night with my husband obviously, we so rarely go out !
we already had a 1 year old and 3 year old had a really rough pregnancy on crutches with pgp and sickness , he is nearly 2 now but having a third has really stretched our marriage and capabilities to give the other two any 1-1. I love the little one dearly and I’d Die for them in a second BUT i wish we’d been more careful if that makes any sense.

Feel sad when I think about it. Doesn't change the circumstances and that it was the right thing to do

Ive had two. My ex sabotaged our contraception in the hopes he could force me to have a baby I didn't want.
I don't regret the terminations for one second. I was hugely relieved.
Of course I felt sadness at the time but my main reaction was relief.

I aborted what would have been my 4th child 17 years ago. It was definitely the right thing to do for us all as a family for lots of reasons, and I don't regret the decision, but I do feel sad sometimes and still often think about it.

No regrets.

Yes and no, similar situation to yours op.

I do feel sad but I know that there's no way we could afford a 4th . It's a struggle
now with 3 . So that's what I always come back to .

age was also a factor I'm 41
, husband is 47. I always said I didn't want to have kids in my 40s .