Those who have had a termination, do you regret it?

[ALittleUnsure1]

I'm newly pregnant with our third and I'm overwhelmed with the feeling this would be a bad idea for our family. We have two happy healthy children and a good life and I'm scared to mess that up. With three, we'd be financially and emotionally stretched. On the other hand, I don't know if I could handle the guilt of aborting their sibling. I know it's just a bundle of cells right now but if I did nothing it would grow into a baby. I'd make the choice to cut that life down. Those who have decided to terminate a pregnancy, do you ever regret it? Or years down the line are you happy with your decision?

Different circumstances - contraceptive fail 3 weeks in to a new relationship but I have never regretted it at all. I feel so grateful that I live in a time and a place that allowed me to decide when I was ready for children.

I regret mine despite the fact it was probably the best thing for our family (3 DC one of which is disabled and needs 24hr care). I still think about that baby 7 years on 🥺

Do I feel sad? Yes
do I regret it? No

Slightly different, I was told that my pregnancy shouldn’t continue and that I should terminate. I’ve always, always wondered about what would have happened had I gone against the advice and continued. It didn’t feel like a choice at the time, but I’ll always wonder about that baby. I certainly carry it with me and think about it frequently 15 years on.

I’ve had 2. I regret neither but do sometimes think about the “what ifs”
the first one I was 19, it was an on/off relationship with someone who I thought I loved.
the second was when I was mid 20s, very toxic, violent relationship and I was 19 weeks pregnant when I found out. He came with me to hospital as I chose to give birth. He then went home for a few hours and came back for me. I found out later he had gone home to sleep with someone else.

if I’d gone through with either or both of those pregnancies, I wouldn’t have my DH or the girls we have now.

so, no regrets, but sometimes sadness

Sad? Yes.
Regret? Absolutely not. 100% the right decision

Yeah, same.

No, absolutely no regrets at all.

No regrets.

Different situation.
early twenties in a very toxic violent relationship

the day I found out I booked a termination.

I came round after and he hadn’t turned up to pick me up from the hospital.
that was the catalyst I needed to get me out of the situation

i went home called the police and told them what was going on and that unwanted shin out of my house.

they were amazing.
they came round removed him and waited while I threw his stuff in a bag (it was my house) and took him away and he was warned not to contact me again.

a really lovely older policeman stayed with me and told me he had a daughter my age and that I’d made the best decision and to stand firm and use this as a reminder of how to be strong moving forward in life.

I still think of that policeman all these years later and how kind he was.

on the very odd occasion I see ex somewhere random and feel absorb thing other than thank god.

I never ever regretted it

I had a surprise third pregnancy op and at that point we were earning well working hard having holidays with two dc and it was a worry however that surprise is now 16 and I couldn’t live without him.

all of my dc get on famously well and we are a really close family

Can I please ask what you decided to do, if you don’t mind? I’m in the same boat and it’s breaking my heart in two.

Important to remember that it is possible to regret or be sad about a decision that was entirely the right one for you to make. It’s a standard line from the Pro Life brigade to say that sadness or regret mean that you made the wrong decision. It doesn’t.

We have two children and I was on the contraceptive pill, yet fell pregnant. Our children at the time were 7&4. OH was keen to keep it, I wasn’t sure.
We had many a frank discussion about how I would need to take maternity leave - (I’d just started a new job), how much it would cost to add another child and ‘start again’, how our two children are happy and healthy and we felt complete. We always said two was enough.
We chose to terminate and that was 3 years ago. Do I sometimes wonder what could have been, absolutely. Do I regret it? Absolutely not.

At the time I was incredibly sad and heartbroken over it.

It’s been about 11 years and I don’t regret it one bit.

No.

This is such an important reminder.

If you know deep down it’s the right choice, don’t feel like them feelings of sadness or guilt mean = bad choice or wrong choice.

There are so many times in life where we have to end things or stop things that upset us but that doesn’t mean it is the wrong choice.

Yes.

I aborted a full sibling of my existing children, but it was before they came along, if that makes sense. I was early 30s but my now-husband and I hadn’t been together long at all, it was totally the wrong time. He mentions it sometimes, but I never think about it and don’t regret it at all. I’m 100% sure we wouldn’t have the life we have now if I’d gone ahead with that pregnancy. No regrets.

No regrets, even though it was the only time I got pregnant naturally and I wasn’t able to have kids later. I have never regretted as it would have tied me to an abusive alcoholic for the rest of my life.

No, none at all. I felt incredibly relieved when it was over and I have never doubted that the decision that I made was the right one.

It took me 5 years to get over it but I have no regrets as it would have been a terrible decision to add a 4th child.

40 years ago. A bit sad at the time
. Wishing my life could have accommodated a baby at that time. Thinking about the what ifs. But absolutely zero regrets and zero guilt. Ever.

No, it was a bit poignant at the time but also a relief
And years later, no regrets at all.
No guilt, no lingering anything.

I don’t regret mine, would have DC 4, it would have been too much for all emotionally and financially. You have to make the right decision for you and your family.

No regrets here either. Just relief.