Those who have had a termination, do you regret it?

[ALittleUnsure1]

I'm newly pregnant with our third and I'm overwhelmed with the feeling this would be a bad idea for our family. We have two happy healthy children and a good life and I'm scared to mess that up. With three, we'd be financially and emotionally stretched. On the other hand, I don't know if I could handle the guilt of aborting their sibling. I know it's just a bundle of cells right now but if I did nothing it would grow into a baby. I'd make the choice to cut that life down. Those who have decided to terminate a pregnancy, do you ever regret it? Or years down the line are you happy with your decision?

No I don’t regret it. Mine was for medical reasons and our baby would have really suffered but equally we weren’t in a position to have a 3rd.

40 years ago no regrets. My life would have taken a completely different path and none of my kids or grandkids would be here today.

Yes

I had one about 20 years ago and felt nothing but relief. I later went on to have two children with the same partner when I was more set up for them.

No, but my situation was very different to yours. Every set of circumstances is unique.

No

I had one when I was 17 and I don't regret it.

I feel very sad about it. I cried a lot and some days I still do. But the father was horribly abusive, and I know the life that child would have had. It broke my heart, but I absolutely did the right thing. I will always be sad, but I would do the same thing again.

No regrets but a grief for what could’ve been 10 years ago. However totally unsuitable situation to bring a child into (situationship and halfway through professional training with little money or family support where I was living).

Sometimes I think about how old the child would be now but I know I made the right decision as it would’ve completely derailed my life.

Im currently happily married with a DS (5) and a DD due any day now.

No. Valid reasons. I have had multiple terminations, I regret the decisions that took me there, not the termination . I am now a very good mother

Absolutely this. 👏👏👏

In response to OP, which I note may not be of use as time has moved on. No I don’t regret it at all. I was in a new relationship with someone who turned out to be a useless twat, had a contraception failure.

I would undoubtedly have ended up as a single parent struggling along and wouldn’t have met my now DH and had wonderful DC. No regrets at all.

No. It wasn’t financially feasible at the time. Wasn’t worth the stress and anxiety to be strapped for another 18 years

Sad, and many years later wonder what he/she would have been like, but it was the best decision at the time.

I was sad, but not sad now and absolutely no regrets. The opposite really.

Not for a second. I wasn’t sad about it at the time either though, I had no attachment and didn’t want a baby, it was very cut and dried for me. But like others said even if you have conflicting feelings or sadness it doesn’t make it the wrong decision.

I've had two. I regret neither, I never wanted children and I wasn't going to have my life wrecked by a slip. I was unlucky that my contraception failed twice (two different methods, years apart) I actually don't understand people who regret abortions, although everyone is different, of course. It wasn't a 'baby' it was a clump of cells. I would terminate in your circumstances, the children you actually have are more important than a hypothetical child.

No. Would prefer not have been pregnant but it was the right decision for me and my other DCs.

Not at all. My life would have been ruined

No.

This.

I think it would be a very, very difficult decision for many women in your circumstances. Termination of an unwanted pregnancy at a young age, with someone you were not going to end up with, is vastly different to a termination in a family situation like yours. I really feel for you.

Not for a minute.

But I also agree with the PP who said, just because you have some level of doubt or sadness about a termination, doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision for you.

You have to balance how you’d feel with a termination vs how you’d feel with another child that you didn’t fully want. Both may involve some regrets or doubts, some sadness, it’s up to you which would be the least worst option.

No, absolutely not. It was the right thing for everyone at the time.

Yes hugely and it’s destroying me. I had HG and didn’t get the treatment needed instead was given tablets which caused psychological issues so severe I was suicidal as well as sick and dehydrated and had a total breakdown and terminated a much wanted loved and longed for baby. This was 8 months ago. I regret and started ttc again a month after. No luck yet. Probably because I’m still underweight and stressed