Family member sells gifts on Vinted - what would you do?

[LeChiffre26]

My SIL sells gifts we have given her and her family on Vinted. We take time and thought with gifts. It's disheartening to see this. She does not need the money! What would you do? Let her know you have seen them? Just stop giving gifts? Just give her any old thing?

Screenshot the listing, print it off & put it in her birthday card with a message saying: I was going to get you a present but you sell them all so I didn't bother.

I would just give vouchers or cash if you are still wanting to gift her. She obviously has no use or doesn’t like what you are buying so why shouldn’t she sell them for money that she can use on something she wants?

Just because she is selling the gifts it doesn't necessarily mean she is ungrateful. My sister once bought me a beautiful sewing box, which was v thoughtful, but I already have one. So I sold it. The thought was there but just missed the mark slightly. Which reminds me I have badges to sew...

I think it’s the speed at which she’s done it, as much as the selling aspect. The Christmas decorations aren’t even down yet.

Just move to doing secret Santa for the family - one gift per person with an agreed budget

really need to move away from the insane present giving

You said she's ok with the big gifts so I would just give those. She hasn't said anything to you because it would be awkward but doesn't need the extras

Buy back one of your gifts from Vinted! She will see your name and then next year don't give her anything

I would only give the big gifts or things she’s specifically asked for. Or gift vouchers like PPs have said. What kind of things is she selling - nice/expensive things or just stocking stuffers? And how did you find out?

Why do y you ask each other what you want so they don’t sell them, they use them?

How do you know about her Vinted account? Did she tell you?

Id go passive aggressive and get personalised ones with names /birth dates / special dates /birthday gemstones on which are harder /impossible to regift!!!

The perfect passive aggressive thing ever that

I'd just give her consumables or cash. Or if you want to be annoying, vouchers.

Presumably she was polite and said thank you to you first?
If so, she can do what she likes with them after.
I’ve got some items that we won’t use that were given by family this year, and they will be going on Vinted when I get a chance.
I wasn’t ungrateful at all, but they won’t be used and are just clutter now.
Would it be better to bin them? Charity shop them? Except that’s a hassle to get to and a lot of the time they don’t want them either.
If you are resentful of the time and effort you put in choosing them going to waste, then just stop.
My DM has so much ‘stuff’ in her house because they were gifts that she feels guilty to let go. She was a teacher for 40+ years. She got a LOT of shite. I’m not prepared to live like that.
At least on Vinted I might get some money to spend on things I actually will use.

How many are you getting her and what budget? it can only be 2 a year ie birthday and Christmas. How many in her family?

What is "disgustingly rude" about it? Presuming she is polite in accepting the gifts/says thank you, what is she then supposed to do with stuff she doesn't want or need? Keep it to clutter up the house?

Your thoughtful gift is tat to someone else, it’s not a reflection on you it’s just we like different things. My brother used to buy me “thoughtful gifts” like candles, oil burner, ornaments etc and they gathered dust, he now buys food based gifts which have the bonus of being able to be gifted annually as we will have eaten them! I always tell my family, buy me chutney

Like all of her items so that she will know that you have seen them , then just give her a token gift ( wine, chocolate) or don't bother.

This could be about me. Both my DM and DSIL insist on gifting me “thoughtful” gifts that they think that I need/that they really like despite me hinting I don’t want anything or that we don’t do presents. They always go straight on Vinted 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’m fairly minimalist and can’t stand the clutter.

All of those. Or just message that you saw she sold the presents so would she just like money next time?

Just out of interest @LeChiffre26 what do you think she should do with unwanted gifts?

Give them to charity, re-gift in a couple of years, store them in a cupboard forever, send them to landfill... what?

I've already given some presents to charity. I love the people that gave them to me. I was grateful ... but I just don't need anymore stuff. No drama though and no harm done. I dont think selling on Vinted is any worse really. I've still got a bottle of sloe gin and some homemade chutney that I'll never use ... but that's more difficult to dispose of.

Don’t gift her anymore. Either tell her why truthfully or stay quiet about it.

Even though it’s hurtful, she isn’t really doing anything wrong. You think the gifts are lovely and thoughtful, she doesn’t want them. We got a LOT of stuff for our baby this Christmas that we don’t want/need/already have, so will probably take them to a charity shop or see if any of my friends want them.
I agree with other people’s suggestions of a voucher next time. Or perhaps suggesting a meal out together instead of gift swapping.

Just stop gifting. It only takes one person to suggest just buying for the kids (or just buying for the kids and a token box of chocolates/tin of shortbread per family) and the house of cards topples - most people are delighted by this. The only person I buy for in my adult family is my mum, and even then I just buy her the annual bottle of perfume my dad always bought her before he died. That’s all she wants. Just put in the family group chat ‘Hey everyone, we’ve been inundated with gifts this year. It’s fantastic, thought it’s made us realise we really don’t need any more ‘stuff’. Does anyone fancy ending the tradition of buying Christmas presents for the adults? Or doing a family secret Santa instead? It would save us all a lot of time, stress, and money 😊’.

I sell bits my MIL and DGM get me on Vinted, they just aren’t anything I want or need. I’ve tried to steer them toward vouchers when asked what I’d like to Christmas but still always end up with physical gifts that just take up space in my tiny flat.
I’d be mortified if they found out but I genuinely don’t do it with any malice toward them. I just need the money more than 3 hand cream sets from Boots.