Family member sells gifts on Vinted - what would you do?

[LeChiffre26]

My SIL sells gifts we have given her and her family on Vinted. We take time and thought with gifts. It's disheartening to see this. She does not need the money! What would you do? Let her know you have seen them? Just stop giving gifts? Just give her any old thing?

Say you want to stop exchanging gifts because everyone has too much stuff. End of.

Or better yet, call her out.
"Hi SIL, we've learnt that you've been selling some unwanted gifts on Vinted. How about we all save ourselves the trouble and just do cards moving forward?"

Strange behaviour is you thinking engaging in a public thread like you've just done is strange.

I tend to give these things to charity. Boxed designer slippers and ornaments included in this year's giveaway. People 'think' they've been thoughtful etc. but it doesn't guarantee a gift is wanted. Rather than tell you, they are put on Vinted. I would mention it - ask why - find out what would be better for them instead.

People who think it's unreasonable to sell on unwanted gifts, what do you do with gifts you receive but don't want?

My niece did this so I sent her a message with all of the photos of the gifts she’d put up for sale & the prices on the family Facebook page saying it’s such a shame she was such an ungrateful little wretched after her nanna, aunties & uncles had spent time & effort sourcing gifts she’d specifically asked for & that next year non of us would be buying for her as we were all deeply offended; I must add before posting I’d spoken to all family members involved all agreed it was the right move as she’s a very entitled madam within seconds of my post hitting the inboxes her posts were removed she sent everyone a very apologetic message stating she had seen the errors of her way; we all responded with that’s fine to say now but we stand by our decision; even her father put a post up telling her he was appalled by her behaviour. She’s never done anything like it since but has grown up to be a lovely young lady

Don't worry, sloe gin doesn't involve making actual gin, so no methanol poisoning to worry about. You just soak sloes in gin you buy from a shop along with a load of sugar....

How on earth did you know it was her page? I have some big questions about how you found out, but now that you do, something has to change. Take screenshots of the presents being sold on Vinted.

Say nothing now, but come the start of September, when you are joking about Christmas stuff in the shops already, THEN you can address it as if it was an afterthought. So September ish tell her that you won’t be doing presents this year. If she asks why, in a casual ‘no big deal’ way, say that there doesn’t seem much point if you keep getting it so wrong that the presents are on Vinted by new year. Treat it as something amusing.

If she denies it just nod knowingly with a smile and let it drop, but stick to the no presents thing. The screen shots are an insurance policy if she the sort who bad mouths you to family. You can then show the screenshots to any family members who are dragged into it.

I would admire her resourcefulness and lack of sentimentality.

Could you maybe ask what she wants? My MIL always buys me a bath set and has bought me several compact mirrors over the years, has bought my children duplicate gifts and not what I’ve asked for for them (something useful like clothes or savings as a 2nd baby doesn’t need more toys) am just going to donate/regift/sell it. I hate clutter in the house and I’ve said I don’t need something to open, but she insists.

How is she doing damage if she is trying to be discreet putting them on vinted?

If it was a deliberate act to cause damage, she'd regift or use FB Marketplace.

You’ve given her the gift. What she does with it is up to her. It really wouldn’t bother me.

@LeChiffre26you still haven’t said what you’d prefer her to do with an unwanted gift. I know it can feel a bit crap to know we’ve missed the mark on a gift but surely that happens to you as well?

Me and sister agree to do an activity with the children together such as theatre, or escape room as nice to do something together and we don’t needs things for already full houses. Would that work?

I'm not the one making it weird babe... 😂

Sure babe 😂.

This.

Buy them off her and the regift them for her next birthday/xmas or as others have said, just get her a voucher.

Your thoughts and effort put in must be misguided or she wouldn't be selling them. I do with things I don't want. What's the point of something sitting in a cupboard? Let someone be thrilled they got a good deal and the pennies add up so you can treat yourself to something you do want every now and then.

I would stop buying all together.

shes your SIL.. so is that your brothers wife? If so then tell your brother you’ve seen she’s selling the Christmas presents in Vinted and you’re upset so won’t be buying in future.
if it’s your husbands sister then he needs to have that conversation.. and actually if it’s your husbands sister let him sort the gifts or vouchers… step away from it entirely as it’s clearly not appreciated!

Is SIL your brothers wife or your husbands sister?
I got fed up buying presents that I literally never see again after Christmas .. and people seem so ungrateful these days… so I buy a family gift now rather than individual… so for example I buy a cinema voucher for the whole family and they can use that as many times as they like until the money is used up.
or you could buy a voucher for smyths toy shop… or for a local zoo etc…

personally I would announce in about September that you won’t be buying individual presents anymore / won’t be buying for the adults or whatever it is you decide….

I would also make it known that you saw your gift for sale….. tell your parents or whoever is the most likely to report back 😂

Sorry no idea how that GIF was added

I wouldn’t say anything I’d just stick with the one gift you’ve researched which is well received and cut out any extras that you’re adding on.

I struggle with a daughter who likes what she likes, much the same as a previous poster who requested Molton Brown as a treat, but got a cheaper version together with other stuff she didn’t want because one product alone ‘didn’t look much’

When I’m gifting, I do like to find surprises that I hope will delight, but some people just want what they want and you have to learn.

..fine..so, why not give her cash or generic vouchers?

I would much rather have one quality item, than 10 cheap items costing the same amount. I have a parent who is terrible at gifting. She has a gift stash where she stores all the tat she buys during her travels, that’s then doled out to her children with no thought whatsoever. We’ve asked her to stop; we’re all adults with no need for stuff. I put it all on Vinted. It goes for pennies on the pound, but it all adds up.

Once a year, with my Vinted earnings, I buy myself one beautiful, expensive item. This year I’ve set my goal as a pair of designer shoes.