Family member sells gifts on Vinted - what would you do?

[LeChiffre26]

My SIL sells gifts we have given her and her family on Vinted. We take time and thought with gifts. It's disheartening to see this. She does not need the money! What would you do? Let her know you have seen them? Just stop giving gifts? Just give her any old thing?

Start buying gifts for her and her family from vinted 😅

Give vouchers if you must give a gift. Or edible gifts. She clearly has different tastes to you and doesn't want to say anything.

Buy the gift off vinted, wrap it up and give it to her next year. Make it a game. See who cracks first

It's such a waste of money for you. I would just say to her, "shall we stop buying gifts for the adults? It gets harder to choose what to buy".

Spend the money saved on something nice for yourself/your immediate family.

I hate to say this, but in my personal experience, people who do this sort of thing tend to be kind of spoiled and unappreciative so I wouldn't waste your time or money in coming up with gifts for her.

I think it depends on what you're actually getting her. My husband's aunt and uncle pride themselves on being thoughtful gift givers: they don't ask whether there's anything we'd like, need or could put money towards. They baulk at vouchers, it has to be a physical gift chosen by them. This means each and every time we're given something we can't use or is just plain odd.

One Christmas we got a 'grow your own mushrooms' box and insisted we send them updates and photos of said mushrooms. Well dear reader, our harvest was sod all because my husband and I can barely keep cacti alive and we both work full time, they got a shot of a few button mushrooms from Sainsburys

Honestly, I wish they would just give us a cheap bottle of red that I could throw in with some stewing beef, I'd get much more use out of that, and a tasty meal.

agree, I absolutely detest gifts, everything you receive is junk, clutter. Even really good gifts are never quite right. Vouchers are better!

Ask her what she and her family actually want next year? To save you buying something they don't want. Can't really expect people to keep things they don't want.

How is it disgustingly rude? If someone bought you something you didn't like, you'd just keep it in your house taking up space? What if she stuck it in a drawer for a few years and then sold it, would that be acceptable?
People are just ridiculous 😭
If you're buying gifts for people, ask them what they want.

Maybe she needs the cash rather than the item ?

I wouldn't waste my time or money buying gifts in future. If you really must give something, a £10 book token is fine and will buy a paperback.

I’m inclined to agree with SIL here. It’s so kind to spend your hard earned money and put thought into their gifts, but that may not translate into what she actually needs/would make use of.
After last Christmas I asked family to either ask me what to get my son or give him money to go in his bank account. He’s autistic so not the easiest little fellow to buy for, the remote control cars, diggers etc never make it out of the box, they just clutter my house even more than it already is which is pretty bad 😂
My in laws turned up with a massive sack full of stuff he has zero interest in on Christmas Day cause they ‘felt bad he’d have nothing to open’. He’s never unwrapped a present in 5 years his sister does it all for him 😂
They’re now split between a bag to go to the charity shop this week and a few under his bed waiting to be regifted.

OP has already said it's not something she can bring up, and it's PA for no reason.
It's her gifts to do as she pleases.

All OP can do is not buy big presents, ask her or do vouchers.
No need for drama.

You bought her tat that she didn’t want, just stop buying tat, the fact you think it was a thoughtful gift shows that you have no idea what to buy them.

Was there in December and toilet roll was standard, 1 in each bathroom. Same as every other time we’ve been.

Even states on their website that they provide loo roll. Seems unlikely both you and your friends would be missed by housekeeping 🤨 but guest services is what you’re after!

https://www.centerparcs.co.uk/breaks-we-offer/special-offers/housekeeping-service.html

It's a gift. You don't really get to dictate what the receiver does with the gift.

Don't give them if they have unspoken conditions or it bothers you. 🤷‍♀️

We take time and thought with gifts.

Sadly you are wasting this time, because the thoughts are not leading you to arrive at the right conclusions. You could put twenty hours of thought into a gift, but if the person doesn't want it, you're wasting your time.

Just a £5 voucher and tell her 100% send her the screenshots of the stuff she has sold.

Mumsnet amazes me. There's never been a poster who hasn't claimed to give a "thoughtful gift" she doesn't like it/want it. What should she do, keep it for eternity and hand it down to her first born daughter?

You could say that you believe she sells a lot of your family gifts on Vinted and ask her if she would like a voucher for Vinted so that every item she uploads her stuff it gets bumped up to the top and she can sell everything quicker!

Give gifts that can't be resold, edibles or money. Most people have too much stuff these days.

Maybe give her cash. It seems she needs that more than the expensive things you are buying her. Is she openly putting This out on Facebook the selling of these items? How do you know she selling these items?

It's Vinted.

My daughter had a wedding list at a large department store. Friends and relatives bought her most of the items she’d chosen on the list. After the wedding, she returned nearly all of them to the store and took refunds.

Hi SIL
I notice that you sold all the presents we gave you & your family for Christmas this year on Vinted. Let's just agree that we won't bother with presents moving forward as you dont seem to like what we buy.

I'd suggest that we stop giving gifts to one another and see what she says.