Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

I just don’t like eating in other peoples company as I cannot fully enjoy my meal. Too much thinking about how to eat, which I don’t need to think about when I’m eating on my own. I actually need to eat in an anti social and slightly disgusting way to enjoy my food 😂

I hear you! I'm the fastest eater in town lol 😆 When I'm eating I don't want to chat and do it leisurely, I just want to eat...messily and unladylike! I force myself to slow down in company but still the first finished.

I’ve always eaten quickly but I had no issues with food growing up or having to eat it quickly before someone else ate it, or any food deprivation issues - I just eat quickly because I enjoy my food and want to eat it whilst it’s still hot. I can’t imagine how anyone could be surprised by someone putting a whole profiterole or chocolate in their mouth at once - profiteroles aren’t exactly large 😆😆. I have very good table manners and was brought up to never make a noise when eating, always keep my mouth closed, etc but there was never an expectation not to eat a whole chocolate or profiterole at once! My husband is the complete opposite to me and takes for ever to eat his dinner. I’ve usually eaten my starter, dished up the main course, and got halfway through my main by the time he’s finished his starter.

My father was a fast eater. It came from growing up in a large family where the kids ate in shifts as there wasn't room round the table. You got your 'share' and ate it - you never refused anything because someone else would eat it if you didn't want it. I don't think he enjoyed food much, he ate in huge quantities but I never had the impression he savoured it.

I'm amazed at people saying it's absolutely fine to eat however you like, would you really be fine with your OH eating with his mouth wide open? Or your kids? Would you be fine with them putting so much food in their mouths that it goes all round their face? I'm not necessarily talking about the OP here, just people saying you should be able to eat however you like.

OP I know you don't want to believe it but if you were constantly ravenous and mainly fed potatoes and bread and butter (that is not a nutritious diet) then you suffered some neglect. It's normal not to recognise it because it was your normal. Parents can be loving, good people and you can still be neglected for a whole variety of reasons.

It's not surprising that as a result of that neglect that you behave as you do. It's certainly something I would notice and comment on if I saw it (although not in a completely horrified away unless you get it all round your face!), I was watching a youtuber with DH and we both commented on a bloke that ate a Bahn mi (Vietnamese sandwich) in 3 bites.

I can't believe that anyone would comment on you just putting one chocolate in your mouth though OP, and if you're only doing it around family that aren't bothered then crack on.

Chocolates are about one bite big - why wouldn't you put a whole one in?🙂

MIL is one of five, poor parents who were brought up poor. She counts food, plates have to be cleared, she licks the fucking plate, given half a chance. Ketchup squirted everywhere, rather on the side of the plate, no idea about order of serving or how to use cutlery properly.

One of her daughters had the piss taken out of her at uni and herbfood served for her, because she was an utter trough monger. MIL finds restaurants awkward.

DH has a brain the size of a planet. I had to work on his table manners and etiquette. Entertained at formal dinners, etc.

What I don't get is MIL's tightness over food and the counting of it. She became a deputy headmistress and is very proud that her dc went to rg uni's. The sisters still have limoted table manners. I'd have more sympathy if MIL didn't think all the tradies were thick and stupid.

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox do you genuinely not want to set a good example for your dc so they are comfortable with everyone. DH is because I taught him. His sisters are not and it has held them back.

I also eat very quickly without the same background as you.

I just can’t savour it like other people. A sit down meal in a movie is always odd to me. How can you chat and eat and take bites every few minutes? It’s not possible 😆 I can eat my full dinner in less than 5 minutes.

Im also slim and have never been overweight.

This made me smile OP! Crack on with your scoffing. My dad is one of 6 and he eats like a hungry wolf. He told me that when you're one of six, if you don't eat fast then you don't eat 🤣 I can only imagine how it is being one of fifteen! It sounds very fun though

Do those of you who wolf your food down like it’s the Olympic 100m final actually like food? Or do you view it just as fuel / necessary and / or are chasing the feeling of fullness like the OP? I don’t mean that to sound judgemental (so apologies if it does), I’m curious and trying to understand. Are any of you foodies? Do you still eat beautifully cooked, amazing quality and flavourful food really quickly?

Some of these posts have really made me smile as I think how horrified you would be when some friends and I had a (wonderful!) dinner in Provence that took 5 hours. Even we were rolling our eyes when we left the restaurant at midnight but the food (and wine) was incredible.

I love my food and enjoy every mouthful. I suppose I would think of myself as a foodie, but I eat everything at the same speed unless it’s something I’m really not enjoying. I’m an adventurous and, I’ve always been told, very good cook and only use good quality, mostly organic ingredients. I love food from most parts of the world and really enjoy eating out at really good restaurants as well as the local Chinese. I’m more than happy to sit at the dining table for two or three hours to enjoy an evening or lunchtime but I just eat my food very quickly.

I love eating quickly! I have tried slowing down and it just isn't as nice. I love food and relish it. Like you I can moderate for the setting but if I had my way I would eat fast. Happy to then linger at the table whilst the more restrained finish theirs!

Absolutely this.. my friend eats really quickly, so much so that her now husband, then boyfriend, & his brother (also our friend) would pass remarks & it made her so self conscious, she confided in me years ago it was because dinner time was really stressful for her & family growing up, her dad had addiction issues so when he came in at dinnertime (as it was back) then the atmosphere would drastically change so it was quite literally eat up & get away as quickly as possible.. it really shows how patterns are formed during childhood & ingrained so please don't feel self concious or badly for eating as you do & frankly your family should know better.. you grew up with a HUGE amount of siblings!

I'm the opposite, I can't bear hot, hot food so always let it cool way down before I start which is also infuriating for others..

Of course food is to be liked.

Doesn't mean I ever want to be trapped at a table for five hours with people eating and drinking around me, though. There are far more interesting things to look at in the region than other people drinking and their plates for that length of time, for a start.

My Dad is just like this. He had a very deprived childhood with a huge number of siblings, never enough to eat and parents who didn’t give a shit so never taught table manners etc. He became a very successful professional but is now in his 70s and still eats every meal like it’s his first in weeks. I get that he is a product of his upbringing, but I hate sharing a table with him. Wish he would make more of an effort to control it but he doesn’t seem able to.

Surely only if there are no boundaries or manners at the table.

Yes. My dad was the youngest of 8 but my grandmother and grandfather would never have allowed bad manners at the table!

I find profiteroles like meatballs, size depends on who's made them, some are manageable in one go and others like a tennis ball!

Yes.

Eldest of 5 & if it wasn't eaten when offered/ dished up, it went to someone else and you missed out. So food was always eaten quickly and in one sitting, fork never down, no chatting etc. I'd been moved out 20 years before I stopped doing it!

Conversation with my sister revealed she was the same!

Yes. Please don’t choke on too much food. I did once and it was very frightening. I’ve never really got over it to be honest.

14 brothers?
Impressive
I grew up with 4 brothers and 4 sisters
I thought that was bad enough 🤣
In a 3 bed semi too!
Anyway, I know what u mean.
We had to eat fast and never leave anything, no point the boys were bottomless pits and would steal everything
One day I ate a pack of 6 icecreams and then felt sick and vomited because i was afraid the boys would eat them 🤣
There was literally no respect for anyone
I grew up thinking boys were vile creatures.
They're marginally better now 😄

Why would OP eating quickly cause choking?

All my friends inhale food, desserts gone in three bites, main meals devoured in minutes, you are keeping the wrong company 😆 find those who love food as much as you lol.

I’d find it more rude to comment on how someone eats. I don’t like chewing /talking as no nobody wants to be spat on, other than that I wouldn’t be bothered.

Equally, it’s quite annoying when someone’s excruciating slow in eating 🤷🏼‍♀️