Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

@UneAnneeSansLumiere They are both hard core atheists, bohemian commune hippys who became farmers. They met when they were 12 and worked ridiculously hard to build a life from an impoverished start. My mum was literally working until midnight, gave birth to me at 3am, was back at work at 4pm that day! I was her 3rd child and she was still a teenager! My dad always had at least 3 side jobs - a wine company, a cafe bar, he was even a taxi driver for a while. They literally never stopped.

DF is 75 now and still working 12 hour days! DM remarried a Californian millionaire - she's an amazing person 😂They met on a cruise and he became instantly besotted with her and the idea of her - a girl who was born in a slum and had 15 kids and yet has read every book and watched every film, play, ballet, opera - she is enchanting - she even had a fling with a famous music producer when she first divorced my dad. I have no idea why I am telling you all of this, it is very outing but I don't want people thinking I grew up in poverty. I was very lucky and love them all immensely - greedy bastards 😂😂

15 kids! Your mam must never have been out of pregnancy!?!

she’s not rude when there’s anyone there. You on the other hand…

And yet you don’t mind being rude here 🤷‍♀️

I think your parents sounds wonderful and clearly worked very hard to bring you all up, your eating preferences clearly come from the scarcity of food when growing up and the positive association you have with feeling full. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this and I think it is incredibly rude for others to comment on the eating habits of others, I would be similar to you and it’s actually pains me to watch people nibble and pick at food- it disgusts me in fact a little but do I mention it? No I just get up and move or bare it if I have too. I think if others comment to you then the issue is there’s not yourself. I have a relative who( due to his boarding school upbringing) eats extremely fast, does not talk at all while eating and is always the first to finish. All fine, he’s happy, we are used to it . He is not greedy or overeats he just eats at speed. Which is fine. So carry on, eat how you like!!!

It’s unclear who is actually commenting though? The OP says she doesn’t do it in public so it can’t be friends/extended family, she says her husband finds is sexy and her children find it endearing and are protective over her and her eating habits, so it doesn’t sound like anyone is actually criticising the OP.

I eat like this too but don’t remember being particularly hungry or food deprived as a child. I wolf food down and am usually the first to finish. Normal weight.

My mum was one of 12, grew up during the post WW2 years. My nan cooked from scratch, had no choice, lots of starchy filling cheap food. Grew fruit and veg, kept chickens. My nan is my heroine, she could make a meal out of nothing. She baked every day, and would hand out her cakes to the friends of her many kids.

My mum said they didn’t go hungry, but they were all aware that food was scarce. Fast forward and my mum and her siblings never changed. When money was more available, she still gobbled her dinner, hated leftovers, her middle aged siblings exactly the same. Eating with them was at the time a bit embarrassing, they shovelled food in, looked constantly at each others plates, and either ate or took home leftovers. I was and still am a slow eater. Eating with my mum was stressful, she was always asking what was wrong with the food (nothing, I’m just savouring it) and she never seemed to enjoy her food, just shove it in.

So I get it OP, I really do. It’s not you, you’re fine. It’s rooted in your childhood. Ignore the comments x

I was always a slow eater but since DS was born I eat very quickly, possibly because I knew I had not much time to relax before the baby needed my attention. The baby is now in his 20s and unlikely to distract me when I am eating but I still can’t slow down.

I guess another thing that changed my eating speed was being married to my ex husband, if I didn’t eat quickly enough he would eat his portion and more than half of mine the moment he got distracted, I often found myself drawing lines with a knife in serving plates to indicate where his portion finished and mine started to no avail. I often had to hide DS food as well as he would eat it because “you know, I can’t hold myself…”

The bastard… the more I think about it the more I realise how an abusive wanker my best friend / husband was…

I don’t care how you eat: no-one has the right to comment on it. Tell them to get knotted, OP.

Agreed!

I totally get it. I grew up in a smaller family and in another country but in the same food situation - I remember asking my classmates for the bit of their lunch as I never had any.

Someone once commented that they have never seen someone "inhaling a burger"... I had other comments so now I really dont like eating in social situations, if I can avoid it. I go out with friends and work etc but never, for example, eat lunch with other people as I just can't enjoy it.

I would say maybe try to eat a bit slower but, ultimately, its up to you. Eat the way you like it.

Indeed. There’s always someone who, whenever anyone mentions they aren’t overweight, has to reply with oh they are all jealous of you then.

its a bit like when a poster describes. It liking their parent as they had an awful childhood and someone will post “cherish them , I’d give anything to have my mother still with us”.

I mean… it’s an eating disorder in and of itself. If you can only enjoy food by eating it in large quantities, really quickly, all at once - that’s disordered. And yes, a result of your childhood.

Have you ever considered therapy? I ask because eating out is a treat that you should be able to enjoy. And you don’t because table manners mean you can’t enjoy you food. Would you like to?

i don’t think eating a Lindor truffle whole is that big of a deal, your DC need to get out more!

Yes I’m very greedy. I’ve never been massively overweight but always yo-yo-ed and really struggled with an “off” button. I do put it largely down to never having nice food when I was younger. Everything was very cheap: chips with everything, very little fruit, very little treats. Never ate out.

Now I just love good food and drink and if I’m enjoying something I’m incapable of stopping at say, one chocolate - il eat half a box. Can easily eat a three course meal.

At least - until i started taking Mounjaro! Been on it over a year now and for the first time in my life I can’t stuff myself and am a healthy, consistent weight (been maintaining for almost a year)

Ive had a break the last 4 weeks as I wanted to enjoy my food more but now it’s time to get back on it!

@paddyclampster she started at 16 and was done at 38, so not a lot of time off pregnancy and breast feeding but she did love it. I expected to be the same bit nothing could be further from reality!

Why did she divorce your dad?

She probably never saw him, what with his 15 hour working days and businesses on the side! Her poor mum must have been run ragged looking after 15 kids alone 😔

DH and his DB both eat very fast, SIL and I put it down to growing up on a farm where workers would come in, eat fast, then back out to work. Maybe it's the farm background that does it!

I put whole chocolates in my mouth, depending on size i.e. not a whole kitkat! Can eat a bag of crisps quite fast but prefer to eat them one by one even so.

It isn't necessary to put down your knife and fork after every bite - this is a diet trope to control how much you eat; you will feel fuller if you eat slowly (psychological I think).
You should be able to eat and talk at the same time, but it is probably a learned skill - doubt the Vikings had it, for example!

It's like a Fairy Tale 😀

Like a fantasy story!

I eat really fast (we grew up with not enough food sometimes) and if there's a buffet, i' m so happy!