Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox the only time I'd laugh at you is if you were like my mother. She shoves a whole roast potato in her mouth, then gets surprised that it's burning her. I laugh because she's surprised every time 🤣

You eat as you want to. I eat fast. I don't care.

I eat very slowly and my husband eats like he's never seen food before but who cares? Yes your childhood would have had an impact as is definitely the case for my husband. However neither of us didn't have an abundance of food but it was home made. Food wasn't wasted either. Same as you, no snacks and no fizzy drinks, still can't drink stuff like that. There's nothing to concern yourself, enjoy.

Do what you want when you are alone, but others deserve good manners when in your company, including your family. I came from a very poor household, living in East London and with parents that could only just supply enough without treats except for special occasions. They work all hours but What they did give us is firm ideas about good table manners and how to share. I have a friend who shovels it in like a wild animal and I find it bad mannered and embarrassing even when we are alone. She had 2 brothers to fend off during her childhood but she is 60 now and still does it. Just have some consideration for your family, I expect they have habits that annoy you that you have asked them to stop?

I think it's interesting you mention multiple times that it is the sensation of being full that you persist in enjoying - that would indicate something more than just the food and the childhood. You mention multiple times how slim You are and you don't have an ed, but it seems a dysfunctional relationship with food for sure. Would be interesting to explore what's underneath it all.

Sounds like you are aware of it and don’t do it in front of others so socially, that’s fine.

I know someone who does that; also blames it on childhood. I hate eating with him, especially when sharing food because I’m a slow eater. He also burps and coughs and occasionally chokes on his food; and then complains about heartburn after. It is absolutely unpleasant eating with someone like that.

It is very unpleasant watching someone eat so quickly, I have to look away. A friend of DHs would put whole pieces of food in his mouth and swallow them without hardly chewing. That's dreadful, and it does go back to childhood, either a big family, boarding school etc, eat it before someone steals it.

or the person who puts so much food in their mouth that they slurp, chomp and struggle to keep the food from spilling out of their mouth. It's like a cross between a garden shredder and a cement mixer. It absolutely wreaks havoc with my misophonia.

I don't enjoy eating out in big groups, unless it's with close family who I know don't eat like that.

@Lougle been there, done that, had the numb tongue to prove it. I did it on NYE actually - a mini beef pie, in one. Jesus it was hotter than the surface of the sun. I still kept my gob shut and chewed politely thou!

I think you should politely ask your family not to comment. I think you’ve done well not to develop an ED tbh and should be happy. And then ask not so politely if they don’t comply. It’s psychological and you’re aware of it. I’m sure they do plenty of gross / annoying stuff that you clean up after etc. enjoy your food.

There is just such pleasure in “chowing down” I love the feeling of the texture of the food in my mouth. When you eat fast(ish) there is a drama to each meal. When I eat slowly I find the whole thing long drawn out and boring. If the act of eating fast was a piece of music it would be Beethoven’s 5th Symphony - the really dramatic part.

@CremeCarmel 👏

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox as a ridiculously slow eater, I am envious! You’re like a wolf - scoff it down very fast & then have nothing else for a while. I think it’s a much more natural way to eat than permagrazing.

Weirdly, I find absolutely no pleasure in chowing down at all! I eat at a normal pace (well I assume so, I always finish meals at around the same time as everyone else and no one has ever mentioned that I eat either fast or slow!) but if I’m ever forced to rush I feel entirely unsatisfied. I also hate feeling full.

Yep I hate feeling full too.

I don’t think I eat that fast but I think I eat with gusto. Love it.

Does ‘eating with gusto’ just mean you love food? If so I must ‘eat with gusto’ too.

My DH is similar, he suffered periods of neglect as a child and went hungry at times, had treats taken away so he learned to stuff things in his mouth as soon as he got them, never kept half a bag of sweets for later etc
He still struggles with this, very bad at stopping himself from eating something all at once.
He’s a healthy weight though and doesn’t buy much unhealthy food, just if it’s there he’ll stuff it.
Also struggles with portion size, likes his meals to look “big”.
I doubt it is doing you much harm if you’re a healthy weight at 50.

I hate sharing food with people who had siblings! I’m an only. It’s not a bloody race!!

I have siblings but eat at an entirely normal pace as none of them ever tried to steal my food 🤷🏻‍♀️

You are using the technicality of it not fitting a mental health disorder, so I think you know it's at least an odd behaviour.

If you can't eat at a different pace, and have to eat a certain way, to control how you feel, then you at least have an unhealthy relationship with food and eating even if it isn't dangerous as it stands (or ever becomes so).

If you are happy to leave at that, then that is your choice. But people will probably notice, there being a good reason to have ended up with this less healthy relationship with eating doesn't mean anything really other than you are aware of why it happened.

Ironically the main reason someone shouldn't say anything, is if it was an eating disorder which can be made worse.

Sounds like lack of food has left you with deep seated issues and a need to shove all your food down your throat at once like a starved dog . Frankly id be repulsed and shocked watching someone eat like a pig I think you need therapy .

I think your issues might be more profound and deep-seated than OP’s. The language you use is appalling.

This! My parents wouldn’t have tolerated it. It’s really bad parenting to allow one of your children to steal the food of another

And also contributes towards other people developing issues around food.

Can you imagine the impact upon somebody eating normally to have such comments made to them?

Not as much as you!

Gusto implies a certain energetic approach rather than the slow savouring of the connoisseur.