Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

Ha ha re your MIL - I hear you

Rudeness will also hold you back in life, maybe do something about that?

And people with such tiny jaws and mouths that the portions a mother bird gives its chives would be exvessive 😉

People with decent manners generally aren’t rude though. That’s the point of them. Make people feel comfortable,
Theres a difference between understanding how to eat or not eat public and pointing it out (which would be rude)

Well I eat like that too and I can’t say anyone has ever commented. It’s only a profiterole for all the people wanging on! I’d say that’s bite sized so crack on OP and don’t worry about it.

My mother was one of 11, my MIL one of five, both born on the cusp of WW 2. In central Europe, where the war was followed by very hungry years.

Both are obsessive about not wasting food. MIL tends to eat fast, says she had to as a child or else her brothers finished all food first. Mum used to eat industrial quantities of butter.

So yes shortage in childhood shapes your relationship with food. I'd be unapologetic about it. Your parents sound impressive in their way. I wish I had 14 siblings I liked....

My husband wolfs his food down. He claims this is cos he went to boarding school and:
a) They couldn't wander into the kitchen and help themselves to food.
b) The kids who finished first were the ones who got seconds.
c) The quicker they finished their food, the more free time they had.

I am the opposite i eat very slowly. I have to due to swallowing issues and the risk of choking symptomatic of my muscular condition. He is usually done before i am even half way through.

This is very typical in bug famileis I think. I grew up one of 5 on a rural farm but we were overfed tbh. We all eat like this thought too. My brothers used to snatch food off my plate if I didn't eat quick enough. I've ended up quite overweight but have managed to slow down over the years. Sometimes, I'll eat the first half quickly and then put my cutlery down so I don't finish before everyone else, but I definitely feel restrained by that. My kids and husband find it quite odd and amusing too.

Not too sure if family environment is the cause. I grew up in a household where food was short and people were plenty.
I was painfully slow eating food and still am.

I am also very picky about food I eat.

I know family growing up would look on me like I was an alien when I refused to eat cake and other things that were deemed to be treats

Fortunately my friend is also a very slow eater who came from a large family so when we go out to eat we have to choose restaurants that don’t book second sittings
3.5 hours is about average although we did start dinner at 5pm and left at 10.30pm
We chat a lot

For very similar reason I eat exactly the same. I enjoy my food more when I zoom through it, head down, no talking, razor focused. I do change when I'm in company though, people who are not immediate family, they are all used to me.

It has nothing to do with being restricted when you were a child. These foods are designed to be addictive and have you wanting more and more it’s actually better to avoid them

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox your childhood and parents lives sound fascinating - you need to write a book, id love to read it!
From a fellow fast eater :-)

I couldn’t care less how you eat if you’re happy and healthy but I do want to say that you and your family are wonderful and fascinating people! You have incredible parents too.

Just do you and to hell what other people think! (on here and in real life).

The only reason is to see what's inside then shove it in immediately. 🙂

I thought I'd made it clear in my posts that I don't judge & would never comment, but obviously not. I think most people put in less than you but more than me.

im my case it's not a being 'ladylike' thing, I just have a very small mouth. (Nightmare at the dentist) & I prefer things like crisps 'added to' rather than swallowed first, so I'm sure if anyone was paying any attention to me they'd think if was worse than taking big mouthfuls!

thd judges on master chef seem to have an enormous capacity, it (I can't even think of the right word!!) they just open their mouths andd put a HUGE spoonful in, easily. 🤷🏻‍♀️

but this is the first time I have ever mentioned it. I eat hot food quickly. Snacky food like a train. Never ever put my cutlery down once I've started a meal ... so I'm certainly not criticising anyone else. I just can't take more than small mouthfuls 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am just like this. I eat fast and furious and feel happy for it. I also don't eat that much and am a normal healthy weight. I consciously pause between mouthfuls in company. I love to eat fast. My husband did a Buddhist retreat in Tibet when he was young where they trained him to eat mindfully and slowly and he still does to this day. I often finish a meal a full 10/15 minutes before him.

Those who eat so quickly… do not feel you’re missing out on savouring your meals?? Like, a meal must be over and done with before you know it!

But as I've said. Some of us don't have the capacity to shove it all in at once!

You're complaining about being judged then judging others.

It means the food gets your full attention, rather than being distracted and interrupted by chit-chat. Ten minutes (or whatever) of full awareness of the appearance, the colour, the flavours, the texture, the sound, the hot/cold/sweet/savoury/salt/combinations makes for a more intense appreciation than half an hour of not really noticing it because somebody is more interested in talking than their food.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

so do you eat slower when you’re on your own and no one is trying to talk to you then?

@Cherrytree86 more time doesn't always mean more enjoyment, people are different and enjoy different things.
I have one handbag, 1 pair of jeans, 1 coat, I wear it out and get 1 new one, it does not mean I do not enjoy them as much as friends who have 12 handbags or whatever. We're all different in what we like.

I don’t eat my food, I inhale it…no such issues like you described in your op. This is how i eat.

I don't know because I don't time myself.

Not having the additional layer of stressors such as people potentially commenting, pulling faces or suchlike probably means I'm feeling more relaxed and can eat at whatever pace feels right, knowing that there's no 'How fast are they eating, are they going to have a go at me about it, have I taken too large a piece on my fork, am I going to get told I don't eat properly because I don't mash everything up together on my plate and then put it in or because I ate French beans by themselves instead of only with added chicken/carrot/mash/gravy (genuinely got bollocked for not 'mincing' my food by somebody who did that once)', though.

DH grew up in a large family and a boarding school, so had to eat quickly to get his fair share. Also being the smallest and youngest of the family and year group, he had to be assertive about it.

He has learned to savour more with age, and slowing down means more time to enjoy eating as his metabolism has become less forgiving with age and portion sizes have mellowed.

People can be funny about what small women eat too. I used to get a frequent "how can you eat so much and not get fat" type comments in early adulthood... I think people have learned that I burn it off with exercise now

Your eating habits are totally formed as a child. We always had enough and there were only 5 of us in the house. My Granny would always tells us that we had to finish our plates as "there are starving children in Africa" so, to this day, I struggle to leave food on my plate, even if I'm absolutely stuffed. I grew up overweight and have to work hard (I.e. barely eat anything) to keep a normal weight. I also don't like serving up food for other people as everyone has a different appetite. I hate food waste, but don't make my kids clear their plates if they say they've had enough. I think it's more important for them to learn to regulate their appetite as I had to learn to eat past satiety, so don't tend to feel full until I'm stuffed silly and uncomfortable.

I'm a slow eater, and don't mind food being cooler. I prefer to be able to taste all the different flavours rather than just roasting my entire mouth and having to try to blow it while eating. What a faff. One of my cousins loves that feeling.

Also, anyone trying to take food off my plate would probably have found themselves stabbed with my fork. My mum would never have allowed it, and I wouldn't as a parent either. I find it the height of rudeness. My uncle did it to my other granny once, his hand came flying over to her plate like a crane, and took a massive handful of her food. My jaw hit the table.

Finally, for anyone still reading, I also have a small mouth and find the dentist torturous. Could fit a profiterole in, in one go, depending on the size, but prefer to cut them up and extend the meal (especially if having with cream).