Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

I eat fast, my DH does all the cooking and its almost like I have to be showing myself eating quickly and all parts of the meal to show him how much I'm enjoying the food and grateful he cooked. And that habit even extends to my food I have made.

I grew up poor, very basic food so if we ever had something more "special" like fruit or vegetables or a 1/4 of a frozen pizza we had to show plenty of gratitude as spending on that meant my parents probably didn't spend on something else they needed, so to show that gratitude you ate like it was the GOAT of all meals and you shovel it in to your face like its pure delight.

I'm really trying to slow down, its hard..

OP, are you Irish?
I'm Irish and it feels much more familiar from my childhood there where money and food was scarce and sweet treats were a real rarity.

I got second hand indigestion just reading your post OP 🤣

I get why you do it but I'd hate to share a table with you tbh, I have friends who inhale their food and it's not nice to witness. Makes them look like savages!

If you were a relative of mine I'd be brushing up on my Heimlich skills out of worry so take care.

@DrFoxtrot I realised I was doing this and so just stopped eating at work altogether so I could eat more in the evening 😂That full up feeling is so good to me, full of hot delicious food all at once 😂

@YouLoseYouSnooze great name!
I am rural Northern English which I think has more in common with Scottish and Irish than English in many ways

@BagUpTheBeads thanks for sharing, that really touched me. Thank you.

My DH eats really fast from years of working as a paramedic and regularly getting his lunch break interrupted. I am often amazed by how much food he can fit in his mouth!

@turkeyboots yes all the chatting and the food is getting cold! I feel like I am being tortured but sit politely, breathing and waiting 😂
I LOVE being in SE Asia where I am applauded widely for my clean plates and fast consumption. On one occasion the chef came out to meet me as everyone was so impressed 😂

@Thatweegirl Does it bother you?

interestingly DH tells me he finds the way I eat very sexy. He said when he first saw me eating a kebab aged 16 he thought "that is a girl who enjoys her life and doesn't care what people think of her" so it worked out for me there.

For me it’s a sensory thing. I enjoy the mechanics of eating. I have to make an effort to slow done with eating in a social situation. To slow down when I eat alone I either read a book (has to be a physical book), or put dIfferent components of my meal in different places so that I have to get up and fetch them. It’s also an efficiency thing, as I get only 25min lunchbreak at work.

My background is entirely different to the OP’s, though my parents both experienced malnutrition and extreme hardship as children, so food is deeply significant to them. Nonetheless, they insisted on table manners: no shovelling, no stuffing, no slurping, elbows down and off the table, chew with mouth closed, swallow food before drinking, swallow before speaking. I can eat very quickly while still following every one of those rules.

Unfortunately there is also a third aspect to my relationship with food: comfort. No need to say more about that.

I have always hated snacks and things like party foods/canapes as I never feed full or satidfied.

Those type of foods aren’t supposed to be what you eat to feel full like a proper meal, that’s perfectly normal.

14 brothers 😳

you survived that, eat however the hell you like at home!

& ignore rude posters. I bet you eat more politely in company than they do!

I used to drive my Dad insane by eating things separately, one at a time. Like all the peas first, then the carrots etc.

i still do it, but sadly he's no longer here to be annoyed by it.

if anyone else doesn't like it they are free not to eat with me. It's been a long time since I even thought about it and I NEVER put my cutlery down

I'm a mixed bag re speed/size. I eat hut food quickly as I like it piping hot, but fairly small amounts at a time as I have a small mouth. Things like chocolates or profiteroles I'll take many bubbly bites as I like to savour them. Crisps etc tend to be one after the other!

tell your family to stop commenting on how you eat.

Enjoy your food.

You’re my spirit twin.

I can relate and manage it just as you do.

"... who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more..."

Eh?

Are you saying your adult children have never seen anyone - apart from your brothers - eat (1) a single whole chocolate or (2) a single whole profiterole, in one bite?

What do your adult children do? Nibble at the edges?

Surely everyone eats a single chocolate or profiterole in one go rather than in several?

I've just eaten a Walkers bag of crisps containg 22g in 3 goes no problem.

Do your adult children have abnormally small mouths?

My mother was one of 5 but quite poor, she was the middle child and there are plenty of stories about licking something so no one else wanted it and she can pile a digestive with jam and cheese and in it goes with one bite.
I'm the eldest of 5 and a slow eater, my siblings all rushed to eat like mum, especially my brother and he nearly always nabbed my portion or ate so quickly he would complain and mum would make me give up my share, sometimes the whole thing.
I can't stand eating with people now tbh, I have my dinner at lunch time and then a coffee with everyone else, maybe some toast at dinner.
People who eat quickly in front of me makes me feel a bit sick but since you only do that at home I don't see the problem, it's hard to break long term habits.

I knew someone once who'd lived in Poland in World War Two, who ate like that. She also always ate everything on her plate and seconds.
Also someone who went to an old-fashioned boarding school.
Think it's clearly linked to food deprivation/competition. Sorry you're being teased for it, that's not fair.

Doesn’t everyone eat chocolates or singular profiteroles whole? They’re literally made to be a ‘bite’.

Im not quite like you but I do eat fast. My sister would eat the food off my plate if I wasn’t done when she was so it was necessary. She sounds more like you… she eats like she’s being starved and sometimes forgets how gross it can be for others to see tbh. As kids, Dad would eat the food off her plate if she wasn’t done.

As I said, I do have a very small mouth & a desire to savour nice things, so I do take bites of chocolates & profiteroles. If I put them in whole I struggle to be able to chew them - but I certainly don't judge people who can eat things in one go, but politely.

it always amazes me on master chef how big the judges mouths are & how much they can fit in, in one mouthful!

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox I eat quickly too.
DH is used to me starting to clear up while he's still eating, even though he has more food on his plate. Sometimes I'll start eating before everything is plated up.

I hate talking while I'm eating. One job at a time.
Talk to me when I've swallowed the last mouthful, please.

The advert for the Lindt chocolate balls winds me up - the actress nibbles them like a mouse full of cheddar. Just shove the thing in your mouth and enjoy it, woman!

Anyway, you're not alone - and I'm and only. No competition for food. Just tons of junk and neglect here.
🥪🍨🍫

I’m from a smaller family than yours but I notice my siblings are faster eaters than most and prioritise eating over talking! We
make more effort when dining out or at special occasions like Christmas and reunions.
I think it’s more to do with my parents keeping the peace and discouraging rows or rowdiness rather than a lack of food in our case. The table was for eating basically.
It has taken me a while to enjoy small or sharing plates, and I used to detest sharing courses. I am now okay with sharing!
So not the same but can see how you are the way you are.

Grace Dent said this on masterchef recently about John eating something, like it was a boa constrictor eating a goat.

But I wouldn't enjoy it if I put it in in one go.

I don’t like fast eaters, but only because I’m a naturally slow eater, and I hate having someone sitting across the table watching me, and waiting for me to finish so that they can move into the next course! It makes me feel pressured to eat quickly, although I really struggle with that. I can’t enjoy my food, or taste it properly if I have to wolf it down, and it gives me indigestion.

My mum does the opposite, she grew up in a large family, and she savours every mouthful. She’s always last to finish but also continues to talk and chew, almost gargling her food. It’s utterly repulsive but she won’t stop despite now very rarely being invited to eat with us.

My DP works in sport (rugby). The players all eat fast and like they’ve never been fed but one particular ex player I sat next to was exceptional even by their standards. He told me he was one of three boys raised by a very poor single mother and it was eat fast or don’t eat. He also finished all of my leftovers, which I found strange but didn’t mind. Waste not want not!