Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

Of course it stems from your childhood. You had to eat quick in case someone else ate it, and they couldn’t take food from your mouth that’s why you put a lot in your mouth at once.

My OH has 3 brothers and growing up they had to eat fast as they used to steal from each others plate. He still ate very fast as an adult.

Yeah it's obviously from your childhood, but there is no way you're not going to get comments if you ram food in your face like that.

I can see why you do it given your history and if that makes you happy that’s fine but don’t you worry about choking?!

Not perhaps relevant what I am going to say, just my own experience.

Never been like that but I noticed with age and also observing how slim people eat, I started literally picking at food to make it last and last on the plate, often ending up the last one to finish in a social scenario - although not so much at home.

Partly also influenced after hearing that we should chew the food really well/long to make it easier to digest.

I know a couple of older ladies (60/70s) who has always eaten like sparrows and they are slim so it makes sense to me.

I eat the slowest in this house and it stems from not having enough food in childhood. I was underweight and then had an ED from all the pressure to eat the food that was given to us. I overcame that when I moved out for uni as I was now in control of the food that was bought.

Now I savour food, the taste and the texture. I have Dh and 2 adult sons who all eat a lot faster than me.

I can totally see why you would want to feel your mouth full of food.

there is no way you're not going to get comments if you ram food in your face like that.

Comments on what/how other people eat are almost invariably incredibly rude and unwelcome.

Some people eat fast, some people eat slow, nothing wrong with either, not sure why this bothers you OP

Im so slow that waiting staff in restaurants keep coming to ask if Im finished yet - NO IM NOT!!!

The only thing I would say is just be mindful of acid reflux over time, something to do with a flappy or loose diaphram (that might not be the right part of the body Im thinking of)

This, since you recognise you’re doing it OP it wouldn’t hurt not to ram food down so quickly, my DH used to have a habit of doing this and it’s actually quite unpleasant to be around someone cramming food into themselves so quickly.

But so is being at a shared meal and just shovelling in as much food as you can physically fit into your mouth? Fine if the OP wants to eat like that by herself, but if she does it around other people then she's going to get comments. Even toddlers are told to chop it up and take a smaller bite.

Eating in a way that’s unpleasant for others to be around is also rude and unwelcome.

I eat very politely in company, I just don't enjoy my food much. I am slim and have never had a weight issue. I don't actually eat much, I just like to eat it all at once in one fast go 😂for preference.
I have always hated snacks and things like party foods/canapes as I never feed full or satidfied. And I go off food after a short period if it's not eaten. At Xmas DC did a lovely cheeseboard and every grazed over it for 2 hours. I had 6 crackers in 10 mins, drank my wine and went and cleaned the kitchen to create an excuse as the cheese was making me feel quite sick by this point - which I know is ridiculous!
Its like if it's left my brain thinks it must be no good 😂
I am only my full self in front of DH, DC, BFF so the comments are loving bemusement from them. My BFF has an ED and has to eat very slowly to manage this. In restaurants it's hilarious I get my food, eat it immediately and then she asks the waiter to take my plate away and bring me another drink so she doesn't have to rush 😂We are an odd couple.

@Whizzingwhippet if you read the OP I am a very polite eater in public, as I have said repeatedly. I chose to be well mannered at the cost of my enjoyment so less of the "ramming it in" and other crappy comments thank you

Im not sure a whole chocolate or profiterole is a large amount. I would eat it in several bites but thats because I have to have very small mouthfuls to get my food down, most people I know would eat a chocolate whole, I dont think thats unusual.

My husband takes a bite and whilst still chewing opens his mouth and adds another. I think it’s disgusting! He has often had situations where he has newrly choked also so I don’t think it’s good.

@Pepperedpickles it's the chewing a big mouthful of food that does it for me so no, I have never choked and have no concerns. I chew all my food, with my mouth closed, very well. I eat "like a navvy on a 2 minute break" as my dad once said, with great pride.

I do not think a whole chocolate is odd at all! My reply was that I see them as a desert canape and it is meant to be eaten in one go - like in a fancy Michelin starred place - so you get it all at once. These were very expensive Neuhas chocs and apparently normally bitten into 2 or even 3 tiny morsels!

I think given you eat politely in company it's sad that your family are not kinder to you eating in a way you enjoy your food.

I would comfort myself that they don't understand because you are a lovely caring parent who has never neglected them.

Every time you get a comment you could say "Well if you grew up with 500 siblings you'd do the same, ha ha". And just repeat that every time until they get bored and stop it

@qwertyasdfgzxcv He should shove it all in at once at the beginning and chew properly with his gob shut! 😂Its politer and he won't choke!

I eat a bit like you and I’ve got worse as my life has become busier. At work, I get very little time to eat and I’m afraid to admit that I sort of throw food at my mouth quickly and then wipe any mess afterwards 😂. It’s quick and allows me to actually eat something during a busy day. I also hate anyone having a conversation while I’m trying to eat and prefer to eat quickly then chat.

Yes i know people like this. It is very off putting and stressful to eat with someone shovelling their face like this. I do feel for them but i hate eating with them.

I eat fast, again a childhood thing as if I wanted a second helping of something nice, plate had to be clear. And there was never enough for a second helping for all. Others I know from large families are the same..Got to eat it before someone else does!
Edit to add I have good table manners, but Im speedy. And I don't talk while its eating time, so it looks even faster to slow chattery people.

Yes, that poster was very rude

@andweallsingalong my parents didn't neglect us, they just had far too many children and not enough money. And they were very young. I honestly think raising 15 children from rural poverty to all have comfortable professional middle class lives is genuinely an outstanding achievement. But yes, my DC had lives of pampered luxury and find it hard to believe the stories they hear from us of food competition, theft, hoarding, mistrust and also heroism such as the time 7 big brothers and I gave our littlest brothers the ONLY CHOCOLATE we got for Xmas because littlest brother had a virus and lost weight.