Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

This is neglect. They had more children than they could feed. You were regularly hungry and you stored food because you didn't know when you would next have any. It's had a massive impact on you. I'd suggest some counselling to help you move on.

DH eats like this. Big family, competition to get enough food as a child. So it’s definitely a thing. But it’s not particularly pleasant to be around tbh op. Watching someone shovel food into their mouth as quickly as possible is pretty gross. It’s not relaxing to share a meal with someone who rushes through food so quickly.

That is such an interesting and thought-provoking post. I can completely understand why you ended up enjoying eating the way you do. It takes very little difficulty around food as a child (for whatever reason) for it to greatly affect our perceptions of food and eating as an adult.

My parents neglected us, and I learned to live on next to no food and certainly no organised meals, and I had to steal whatever I could find to eat after our parents were in bed. Although we kids were neglected, the adults fed themselves very well. Mum and Dad just thought of themselves, not us.

The scarcity of food for my sister and me made me unable to socialise and chat while also eating because I never had a chance to do it as I was developing. When I have food, I feel I have to fully focus on it as if it may disappear!

So, at a dinner table, I can converse or eat, not really both together like others do, without taking ages over it.

So, I have the reverse problem to yours, UpstairsDownstairs!

I put my cutlery down for long periods, and there can be ten minutes between me eating a mouthful of whatever is on my plate and then taking the next mouthful. I just talk instead of eating. Then when there is a lull in the talking, I can eat again.

So, I became an overly polite eater, though I adore food, love going for meals out and having a nice restaurant date and so on. But I am three times slower than whoever I am with, at least. I end up leaving food sometimes, purely because the other person or people finished eating ages ago.

So, I get adverse comments for being far too slow. We can't win either way, Op.

I mean, clearly you have childhood trauma there, but I would absolutely not be able to stay silent if my partner was shoving food down his throat all in one 🤮

I4 brothers loads of potatoes and not much else. Were your family Irish!

I've dated people who went to very expensive boarding schools who eat like the OP. Need a clean plate to go up for seconds...

Personally I wouldn’t enjoy eating that way as I like to savour food. BUT, there are LOADS of people who eat the way you do. I don’t think you’re weird at all!

Eat whatever ways makes you happy in your own home, unless you're diving at other people's plates I don't see the issue personally.
The comments are probably just bemusement not many people would have experienced the stretch or starve mealtime especially being a little girl getting her share with so many brothers.
I came from a tiny family however I've had dinners as a child with several large families at home (Ireland) it was impressive how quickly the mountain of spuds vanished 😂

My DH eats like this, he’s one of five siblings and it totally gives me the ick.

Oh bless you original commenter 💚
There's nothing odd about you whatsoever & I'm just remembering my Beloved Late Mum's Childhood & sounds immensely similar, so I liken it to just be extremely grateful for having some certain foods, especially following it being unavailable or rationed 🫂
It's only natural you would thoroughly devour & make up for lost time-so to speak - when finally being graced with the presence of well anticipated, hoped for, succulent delights🤗
Much Love To You&Yours 💚🫂💚

I have several brothers, only girl. We all eat like tigers as you describe op. Never a morsel left. Food vanished when we were kids. My own dc (adult) don’t eat in this manner. It’s just a different upbringing.

personally, I own it, and couldn’t give much of a shit what anyone thinks

upstairsdownstairscardboardbox
You eat how you want to; my father was from a family of eight children and he said every one of them used to guard their plates, there was very little money and he said no one left a morsel in spite of the hopeful looks! He continued to eat huge mouthfuls all his life, we were all used to it.

I don’t think this is “hilarious”. It’s very, very sad that you both have issues with food.

You may not have an ED but what you are describing is disordered eating and odd, untrue and illogical thoughts around food. Not being able to enjoy food unless you shovel it in your mouth asap is sad. Not a funny quirk.

my husabnd is a very noisy eater and it drives me mad

Yes completely concur with Sincere Soul 💚🤗💚

It comes from your childhood; I too came from a big family but we didn’t have to bolt our food down we had to hope we’d get a meal some days; with a step mother who would stand over us watching us eat every mouthful if we didn’t eat it as per her liking we got rapped across the knuckles with a bone handles knife; I’ve grown up fearing eating to quickly it now takes me up to an hour to eat a meal out its through this deeply ingrained feaf of not eating prooerly.if I were you I’d try to stop yourself from eating so fast & definitely stop putting a whole sandwich in your mouth; your risking your health choking is a distinct risk & cramming food into your mouth amplifies the risk; as you age your reflexes aren’t as quick the last thing that you want is to become a choking statistic.

As a kid we had enough food but snacks and treats were very rare! I was told by my DM that I didnt like mcdonald's and wasnt until I was a teen that I had the opportunity to actually try for myself and discovered i did actually quite like it!
As a result I tended to indulge in treats a lot as a younger adult.
Also I spent the whole of my 20s in a relationship woth someone who would comment on how much I ate and would take food from my plate and tell me he was "saving me from myself" (all 8 stone of me i was tiny back then)
That did lead me to eat quicker and its a habit if still have now! I dont take huge bites or ram food in, but i tend to keep eating rather than take pauses between bites, unlike my DP who has a haital hernia and needs to eat slowly to avoid heatburn! So I can finish my plate while he has half left and then I feel like a pig 😂

There was pressure at school at lunch time ( we had school dinners in the canteen ) for everyone at the table to eat quickly
This was because no one was allowed to leave the table to go out to play for the remainder of lunchtime until everyone at that table was finished
At work I ate lunch quite quickly on a nice day so I could head out for the remainder of my lunch hour .
I stopped doing that when I started to get terrible indigestion and bloating .

I ate crazy fast sometimes. Big Irish family, poor childhood etc. Its fine. Mostly I don't notice I'm doing it.

I get what you mean, i am a bit like that i eat fast and if eating at home with my family i would have bigger bites and eat fast but if out at restaurants or with other people I'm not close to i eat slower and take smaller bites and sometimes hardly end up eating anything as i find it hard to have a conversation between eating and as I'm eating so slow it gets cold and i don't enjoy it and loose my appetite

This is prison style eating. You no longer have food scarcity so I think it’s time to eat with good manners and not stuff. Don’t make your kids embarrassed to see you eat it worse still, embarrassed because of you.

I can relate to this!
We never had any food that could just be eaten in the house-fruit was for show, snacks or sweets were payment for babysitting only.
I love a can of peas as a snack, because as a child it was the only food in the house that didn't need cooking.
My brother was usually hungry, I was often at least peckish all the time.
I eat extremely fast- because my brother would eat my dinner from off my plate-particularly chips. So anything he wanted had to be eaten first and fast- my mother never told him off for taking anything of mine, including food-so you just learned to eat fast and leave veg until last because he wasn't interested in that.
I have found it very difficult dropping this habit- if we eat out 9 times out of 10 I finish first, and I'm 64, so I think I have to accept that it's a habit I can't break.

I think it goes deeper than good/bad manners, as a mostly Irish person our generational trauma about An Gorta Mór is ingrained & as I have said some people, posters here & my actual friend have other reasons to eat quiker than some

Unless you're eating Shrek style no one is embarrassing themselves or their kids

My DH and youngest DS eat so fast that I don’t join them at the table because as soon as I sit down they have finished and my DH has walked off . This annoys me . I am a slow eater . Always have been . My eldest DS eats normally when he eats at home they are both in their mid-late 20’s . I get commented at how many times I chew food so I would rather eat alone . I have never been a food person . My mum said from a child she struggled to feed me because I wasn’t interested. I can safely say food which is bland that I eat is out of necessity not enjoyment. I am not generally hungry/ starving. I don’t understand that concept because I have never been like that . I don’t have a good relationship with food and it’s got worse with age . I think that’s why I only eat in front of my DH and DS’s and my sister . My DH has always eaten fast and so has my DS. There is no reason behind it .

I wouldn’t worry what other people think if that’s how you eat . I don’t . Not now . It how I am . I have learnt to accept it . It is obvious given how many brothers you had and you had to get your share you would grab what you could .

I can’t eat left overs . This may sound silly to others . There was a family that lived near us and they couldn’t afford to eat and they asked my mum for our left overs . My mum was too proud to give her what we had not eaten so she made extra to feed her family of 4 . My mum made me take it to them . I was the shyest out of the four daughters and to do this for several weeks . My dad bought them Chinese every Saturday too . One day her husband got a payout for an injury at work , which is why they had no money for food . Apparently a substantial amount . My dad went round to see if they needed more food . They ignored him calling several days later too . I was mortified how they treated my parents . They had money for leisure things but they used my parents and I was made to go and give them food every day with them saying thank you for your left overs . My mum wouldn’t let me say it was freshly cooked .

I do this and it bothers me, people also comment to me. I'm am overweight and try eat slowly but like you I do not enjoy it and I also do the crisp thing.

My father was strict and we had to eat everything on our plate he would watch us until it was gone. I'm guessing I ate fast so I could finish and get down from the table.