MN phrases that aren’t said in real life and make you laugh

[Hotchocolateandmarsh]

I’ve never heard anyone say give your head a wobble in real life. I have no idea why but if makes me smile everytime someone uses it. I picture one of those bobble heads 😂

What’s your favourite MM phrase?

And they are ALL narcissists. Sometimes people are just plain old arseholes.

HTH (hope that helps)
LTB
D anything ! Who thought that one up ? Just say sis bro child cat dog budgie without the flamin dear in front ! Grinds my gears (not a saying it actually does😩)

Give me strength really ? That’s a new one

Arrrgghhhh

Ive just realised this now that you say it, I suppose the John Lewis posts just go over my head for this very reason, nuttin round here unless I want a 2 hour journey

And now that I think about it more, I do see a lot of posts for a suggestion of a 'personal shopper at John Lewis' when someone is asking about a jumper or something

Lol, thats really made me laugh now that I've remembered it!!!

Me too! DH is nauseating enough, but even worse, is when they start DNiece, DNephew, DDog, Dabsolutelyeverything. It’s moronic. Over on Tattle, they totally take the piss of the D thing and it restores my faith in humanity.

I've heard 'give your head a wobble' and 'vile' plenty of times, but never heard anyone say:

Did you mean to be so rude
No (without expanding)
I'm doing life admin
Can I have a hand hold?
Gifting

"Coincide with your worldview" is increasing on here (and I don't hear it irl). It's generally used by people in a way that dismisses a point of view someone's put forward, rather than engaging with it.

Russell group university
Nobody i know who has a child at university feels the need to shoe horn in the fact it a Russel group ,but I see it all the time on here.

I forgot I went to one.

It obviously had a lasting impact on me.

For any minor thing - POLICE. NOW - always written in capitals

Get your ducks in a row

“Call 101” or “Call 111”

Always the wrong way around too.

”Call the Police and ask for a welfare check”.

Not just "call" - always "log it with".

Someone looked at you funny from across the road before getting on with their day? "Log it with 111".

Crushing chest pain radiating into your arm and shortness of breath? "Log it with 101".

So much logging happening on Mumsnet it's a wonder there are any forests left standing.

Or these days it’ll be logged “in the cloud”.

No wonder the weather is so bad, the poor clouds are filling up.

Vaginas clamping shut.

Always said like the poster just invented the term and is marvelling at their own cleverness.

No is a complete sentence
That doesn't work for me
Give your head a wobble
You don't seem to like her much, do you?
Couldn't get worked up about that
Unclench a little (I have used this though once despite hating it)
Chill out
PFB

Ghastly is great! 😆

I am sick of this too!

Ooooh, I fecking HATE 'niblings!' FFS, it's nieces and nephews! And your childrens cousins. I never hear anyone saying 'niblings' in real life. Sounds like someone's talking about food FFS!

Someone started a thread once asking 'what behaviour from a man is guaranteed to make your vulva clamp shut?' 😂 No matter how many posters said to her that she had used the wrong word (should have been vagina in this instance,) she kept doubling down, and tripling, and quadrupling, and insisting she is right, she has used to right word, and she meant to say vulva.

It made no sense whatsoever, and many people said so, but that didn't stop her repeatedly saying she was in the right. 😆

When I had just arrived in the U.K. someone told me about Russel Group Universities and how her brilliant daughter was doing Medicine at one. It meant nothing to me but as she was so proud I acted impressed.

When I introduced her to another friend of mine, and she started mentioning her daughter, I chimed in with “She’s at a Russel Grant University”

how they laughed 😅