MN phrases that aren’t said in real life and make you laugh

[Hotchocolateandmarsh]

I’ve never heard anyone say give your head a wobble in real life. I have no idea why but if makes me smile everytime someone uses it. I picture one of those bobble heads 😂

What’s your favourite MM phrase?

To me it’s “darling”. Especially when darling husband is cheating on you.
or “odfod” I always think Hyacinth Bucket wrote this

If you mean one4all gift cards, they are the work of the devil.
You have to know how much is on the voucher before you go into a shop or you can't use it.
And they subtract 90p a month off the value of the voucher if you don't spend it in the first year. I think I actually owe them some money on a couple of vouchers I found in the back of a drawer.

The other week, dear dog killlllled me. 😭😭

Pretty much all the things on this thread have origins outside of MN though. Ducks in row, head wobble, DH, etc. they just seem to be very enthusiastically used here.

I’m northern and I’ve heard it a fair bit.

I say it all the time.

I think Viz invented in in the late 80s, and then gullible people on MN bring it up whenever a man is rather obviously hiding his hot dog in another woman's bun...

What do you interpret "my face didn't fit" as meaning?

It doesnt at all, they then just pester 'why', 'why not', 'why cant you', 'is it because....', 'what about if you did it this way....', 'what about Thursday'

And zillions of other pestering questions.

Absolutely this, and dont get me started on parking apps.

Then walk away. Or repeat ‘I said no’ as many times as it takes. Stop being a people pleaser, they rely on that part of you, for you to be weak, so they get their own way. They don’t worry about being rude and creating awkwardness, so I certainly don’t.

I like this so much, i use it IRL

Hot tubs are cest pools
Artificial grass, and rattan are the work of the devil
If you give your dcs sweets, or any screen time, you're a "fun house."

Me too.

Referring to people as CFs. I can't understand why any woman would use the C word as an insult. It's definitely not something you could very freely say in most places outside MN

It means "cheeky?"

Hang on are you telling us you've been reading "CF" as "cunt fucker" this entire time?!

Are you on glue

Im not a people pleaser in anyway shape or form and nothing in my post suggests or implies that so not sure where you get that from

But no, on its own, straight out no, is not always sufficient or appropriate depending on the situation. Its a nonsense.

I'd love to use this IRL, like in group conversation when no one takes the bait on a topic or a suggestion. Just shout BUMP so you don't have to repeat yourself

If someone doesn’t accept no, and ‘pesters’ like you said, then they’re cheeky, so I done worry about appropriateness, because they sure don’t! The fact that you would feel you needed to say more, because they ‘pester’ and that you worry about appropriateness to people like this who are cheeky fuckers who ‘pester’, says people pleaser. They’re not worried about being appropriate, so why would you.

“Could they be neurodivergent OP?”

”Sounds like my ASD/ADHD child”

”this could be the start of dementia?”

I am ND which is maybe why it annoys me so much when it’s brought up in a thread about a child who sounds a bit lively but there is nothing else that suggests this is the case.

It’s more frustrating when the OP gets worried after multiple suggestions and says they will look into it.
I sometimes wonder if mumsnet is responsible for the years long waiting lists for a diagnosis of AudHD!

‘Boils my piss’

‘I lost my shit’

Both horribly vulgar phrases that I’ve thankfully never seen/heard outside of MN

Jesus, I dont 'worry' about appropriateness but in the usual human social discourse of life people interact, there's nothing people pleasing about having a conversation, which is why in real life people dont generally act like arseholes and cut conversations stone dead unless its someone they dont know or dont like. People can still pester, client groups, service users, managers for a start.