MN phrases that aren’t said in real life and make you laugh

[Hotchocolateandmarsh]

I’ve never heard anyone say give your head a wobble in real life. I have no idea why but if makes me smile everytime someone uses it. I picture one of those bobble heads 😂

What’s your favourite MM phrase?

AF (Auntie Flo) rather than just saying period. Twee and grim.

"I caught DH in DBed with DNeighbour... Do I DDivorce the DPrick?"

Gently, it’s so patronising, do people really use that in real life?

D😂

As for vile and grim and loathesome... I do say vile and grim and loathesome in real life though. 😆

I HATE it when people say DCAT, DDOG, DNIECE, DNEPHEW.

Just stop it.

Oh, and in real life (as someone has already said,) I have never heard anyone complaining that they are struggling finanically on £100,000 a year. Then again, 99% of people I know don't earn that. Even degree educated professionals. Just like the vast majority of people on here who claim they earn £100,000 a year don't. 😆

Oh, and @madeoftickytacky said, I LOATHE seeing a thread title where someone is 'asking for a handhold.' Yes I get that someone is probably having hard time, but why does someone need to hold your hand? Like actually WHY?

See also 'I'm peri....' Just say I'm going through peri-menopause. It makes my teeth itch seeing 'I'm peri!'

As @Dollymylove said, I have never known anyone in real life who has never farted in front of their partner in 20+ years....

And does anyone actually 'cry and shake?'

Or KINDLY....... And it's often followed by a phrase that is not 'gentle' or 'kind!'

penis beaker 😂😂

Oh no that was DEFINITELY true! 😂

Cunt-weasel. Fantastic insult

Yes it is! 😆

When you say something out loud and no one replies, so you say “bump”

Oooooh, I've not heard of that one.

You might not have, but that doesn't change what I wrote. It's even referenced in a US sitcom from the early 2000s, about other US-based forums.

Vanishingly rare
Do you have a link to that? (opinion that you have just expressed on a chat forum)
It will invalidate your insurance

Not a phrase as such, but ‘naice’. It was mildly amusing many years ago when it first came into existence on MN, but now I cringe with second hand embarrassment when anyone uses it on here. It’s definitely not something I have ever heard in real life.

It's unlikely to be used in real life though, because, as explained above, it started as a MN thread about a shopping list someone found.

Yes I agree. The acronyms pre-date Mumsnet.

Ah ha now that is something I disagree with. Some things do invalidate your insurance... Like getting robbed after leaving doors and windows unlocked.

Gives me the ick

Oh it’s not just this! ‘Why are you doing your husbands washing - raise your standards’. Oh shut the fuck up, I’m not gonna put a half load on just because some of the items belong to the man I’ve been living with for 24 years.

Surely that’s the point of the thread, things that started on MN that aren’t used in real life.

True!

Just seen another one. A thread asking 'are you taking your Christmas tree down today?' No-one but NO-ONE does that in real life. Purely a Mumsnet thing! 🙄

Often though posters will state something as a fact rather than an uninformed opinion and if it's controversial a link can be helpful in clarifying what the truth is

I've actually just seen a reel about this on Instagram so must be a thing for some people