MN phrases that aren’t said in real life and make you laugh

[Hotchocolateandmarsh]

I’ve never heard anyone say give your head a wobble in real life. I have no idea why but if makes me smile everytime someone uses it. I picture one of those bobble heads 😂

What’s your favourite MM phrase?

We do say this at work because those with the condition make up a huge number of our client group so we're talking about it and referring for it all the time!

It’s being an arsehole to pester. If you can’t say no, it’s not my issue.

We live rurally

I say these. I must be horribly vulgar 🤷‍♀️🤣

Sorry, I should have RTFT but quite agree!

You're clearly not reading properly. No straight out is sometimes the answer, but sometimes the answer needs to be more nuanced. Its a simple as that

No is not always a complete sentence and unless said to kids, Ive never heard it in real life.

I read something yesterday that I haven’t heard said far years though there’s hardly a week goes by that I don’t think of it. It was ‘miserable get’ and a favourite of my granny’s. No one said it like her, she had a very special way about her when saying it, but I have a feeling the poster who used it in a reply was a woman very much in the mould of my granny. Seeing it made my day.

I know this will already have been said but I absolutely fucking detest that expression. I read one post yesterday where the OP said it about 4 times and I couldn’t understand why they couldn’t think of some other words to use.

Folk is one nobody I know uses.

We used to have someone at work who used 'folk'

Urgh

Yuck surely no one older than four says it.

Life admin, I usually assume they have been let down by school/family and likely have an undiagnosed learning difficulty. Which wouldn’t be overly unusual in they were at school before about 2008.

‘DD - dear daughter’ or my favourite, ‘DD - dear dog’.

I hate tell me you know nothing about…without telling me you know nothing about…

I haven’t seen it as much lately but it does make me cringe.

I don’t drive.

nobody ever wishes they spent more time at work on their deathbed

I work my arse off/my husband works his arse off

we live very rurally (but I’m in Australia where this would mean you live a five hour drive away from Tennant Creek, population 3000).

Crying and shaking, 'handhold' (grow up, just say you want support. A fully grown person asking someone to hold their hand on the internet is embarrassing.)

They sound like my ND child

The utter handwringing that comes with vape threads, hen do threads, baby showers etc.

how everything is 'small.'

i have a small car, a small light lunch, a small amount of makeup, a small quiet gathering, a small gift.

FUCK OFF WITH YA SMALLS AND PUSH THE BOAT OUT A BIT😂

Whenever a poster uses vile, grim or rank it’s a fairly reliable indication that whatever they’re whinging about can be ignored.

I don’t hear people say ‘horribly vulgar’ outside Mumsnet, mainly because I don’t live in the 1950s, thank goodness.

For context….

Big birthday…
Just say 40th or whatever.

"Give your head a wobble" - who says that in real life???

I tell people I don't drive because I dont )))

@EarthlyNightshade

I take your point about those types of vouchers, but I think this was discussing something like a voucher for afternoon tea (or something pleasant like that).

Eurgh yes just so twee. They probably hold mugs with both hands too.

I realised I say “guys” in real life such as come on guys as my child started saying it….i need to stop it sounds awful! 😂

Oh me too, so cringey, its possibly the thing that makes me cringe the most. I can picture the person in their smug self righteousness thinking they sound really clever.

I heard myself saying it once and wanted to stab myself in the eye

Related to this, is the MN allergy to humour, apparently needing sarcasm, irony, hyperbole to be pointed out. I refuse to alert anyone to this in my threads and spot the people who 'get it' and laugh at the ones who dont. I hate a thread that starts 'lighthearted' - yes OP most normal people can spot that.