Say here what you can’t say in real life - Christmas edition

[Rainallnight]

If you have someone in your life who is driving you mad or making you brim with rage this Christmas, tell them here!

Get it off your chest in a safe space so you can turn around, smile, and offer them a sherry.

NB - this isn’t AIBU. All gripes are correct and permitted.

I will start.

SIL, I am furious that we have driven hundreds of miles with small DC to spend Christmas in your part of the country, including hosting YOUR mother for the duration, only to find that you are not spending Christmas Day with us, AND that you have not yet deigned to pin down a day to even visit. Furious, I tell you.

Sadly it was the minister who caused it.
She has tried to offer some 'sort of' olive branches but hasn't had the balls to sit down and actually apologise.

I really really don’t want to work a 12 hr shift on Christmas Day. I am angry and upset that I have to leave my family while it seems like everyone else has 2 weeks off

It's only a roast lunch. Stop making a massive drama about it

Absolutely wonderful! I laughed and laughed. Well done you for giving it full throttle. 😂

DH is actually fucking useless.

DH said he would get his eldest (my stepdaughter) a car for her 18th. She's now 21 and no car has ever materialised. He had the idea of getting her a car for Xmas. Last month she asked if she could be leant some money as someone she knew had one for sale, and this year she has parking at her uni house. He said no, as 'Santa might be bringing something wink wink '.

He hasn't found a car. I found one for sale that was perfect,and he arranged to go and look at it yesterday, telling them he would get there at 1. At half 4 when he still hadn't left home they said not to bother as they were waiting to go out. He thinks they are the unreasonable ones .

Poor thing thinks she's getting a car Thursday.

Siblings, I can’t wait until the estate is finished so I never have to have any contact with you ever again.
You lecture me, you condescend, you talk to me like a child, you openly hate me, then expect me to manage situations for you. You know nothing about me. You can’t get my DH or DC name right, or know what my profession is. I won’t be losing family, I’ll be freeing myself from self-obsessed, self-pitying, totally nasty people. I’m really looking forward to it.

To the generation above me: when you are all dead I will be fucking off abroad for a month every Christmas instead of running around frazzled to keep you all happy “in case it’s your last”

That is atrocious.

Have you told him so?

That's absolutely horrendous of him. Your poor DD.

@Dollybantree He is adamant he will find one.......

Unfortunately she has had 21 years of him being a let down so it shouldn't be a massive surprise.
Any criticism is met with a very woe is me 'I'm trying my best' , 'well I'm at work' (I'm also working up until late Xmas eve and am managing shit.)

Maybe she should provide a menu with a choice of starter, main and dessert like they do for work Christmas parties.

I feel you. This was us last year!

I’m exhausted. I’ve done everything for Christmas planning, as per usual I’ve paid for everything too, I’ve been working nearly 12 hour days to try to get everything done at work, I’m recovering from the flu nearly 2 weeks ago now and yet still everyone in the house will come to me to ask me what’s for dinner/what are we doing later/wheres x/can I have y…. I just need sleep and I won’t feel like murdering someone anymore.

To my husband - you’re a fucking twat. All through the year I suggested you use some of your remaining holiday (as doesn’t get as much as me and was moaning that I went away on multiple breaks alone with the kids) to book time off in the school holidays to have time with the kids, maybe go away yourself with them but you didn’t bother and now I learn you’ve booked off the whole week before Christmas, when most of it wasn’t needed for childcare and you aren’t even spending the time helping to do anything to get ready for Xmas, you’re sitting on your arse watching tv and playing with your Lego. Are you fucking 8? Oh and when you, after sitting on your arse all day, deliberately carried on watching tv whilst I went and did 3 loads of washing up (broken dishwasher), then fully prepared dinner after I had just finished an 11 and a half hour day working to ask me if I “need a hand” right after I had finished the last thing, you just made he hate you even more than I already did. When you then decided you didn’t want to eat the dinner I’d prepared because you’d been eating crap all day you were lucky you didn’t end up wearing the dinner.

To my mum - you are really selfish for constantly going away and leaving your poor cat all on her own and expecting my sister and I to go round daily to feed and check on her. The poor cat loves people and is so lonely because for roughly 36 weeks of the year, you aren’t at home with her. You should have rehomed her years ago if you and dad value your holidays more than your commitment to your pet. It’s not fair on us either that we constantly have to plan our days to make sure we can go round there no matter how inconvenient it is, or we just don’t want to one day. Oh and the fact you’ve already given us all the dates for your 2026 holidays so we don’t book to be away at the same time is taking the piss when we have limited dates we can make work due to a lack of finances and fitting with school holidays.

I’d say I feel better now, but I really don’t 😢

I got FTFO but not the rest and Google was no help... Please explain 🤣 x

@Tillow4ever that is miserable. Lots of questions - I’d give your mum the number of a cat sitter next time, or better yet rehome her and tell your mum she’s died - but mainly just hoping you start to feel better soon.

Dad I'm nc with you for a very good reason as you know, please dont send Christmas cards to me and two grandchildren and sign it with your name not 'dad or grandpa' and send another child's signed from grandpa and add money. It is not nice, it doesn't do what you want. All the cards go in the recycling bin and the money is donated to charity (child's choice, one you'd not be happy about).

Dear parents and parents in law... Why do you put fuk all out when we eat at yours and then eat like pigs and eat us out of house and home when you come round to ours?

It’s, ahem hem, “Fuck The Fuck Off To The Far Side Of Fuck”🤗

To every single member of my family accept my household and my FIL. FUCK OFF.

No I will absolutely will not be doing your Christmas shopping for you, when you expect me to go out and buy gifts for every member of the family accept me and my household. I see you now for what you are. A nasty horrible person. FUCK YOU.

If your marriage is over, then go out and enjoy NYE with a clear conscience. You DH can't hurt you any more.

My heart breaks for you💔. I have never before or since experienced such pain as the death of my Mother and I have survived situations that would have broken many. That first Xmas I told family that I was spending it with friends and told friends I was going to family! I spent the day alone with my broken heart sobbing😭. Your pain will lessen with time. Caring for the children will help. 🤗

Thank you. My sister and I already both have cats. My cat would NOT take another cat moving in at all, my sisters might but she already has 3 cats and we don’t think mums cat would be happy moving to a house with other cats there.

I live a 2 min walk away, my sister a 10 min walk (few mins drive) so it’s not far to go. So even if we could home her, my house is too close - she’d literally just cross over the road and walk home again. She’s also around 17 years old now so I don’t think it would be fair to disrupt her like that. And my mum would be devastated, she does love her. She just won’t say no to my dad. My parents could easily afford a cat sitter - but they’d never do it. There’s a reason rich people stay rich, right?

I’m sure the Christmas break from work will help me start to feel better - thank you for your thoughts!

Dad I may not be surprised but I am secretly heartbroken you're not interested in seeing me at all over Christmas. Can't say anything because nothing is ever your fault and you'll find some way to turn it around on me or act like I'm being a drama-seeking over-sensitive kid.

I wish you enjoyed my company as much as you do my sister's.

Dear BIL, I'm still upset at what you said about my kids last time I saw you. I've bought your kids a present which makes a truly appalling noise, and I hope they absolutely love it and play with it constantly.