Say here what you can’t say in real life - Christmas edition

[Rainallnight]

If you have someone in your life who is driving you mad or making you brim with rage this Christmas, tell them here!

Get it off your chest in a safe space so you can turn around, smile, and offer them a sherry.

NB - this isn’t AIBU. All gripes are correct and permitted.

I will start.

SIL, I am furious that we have driven hundreds of miles with small DC to spend Christmas in your part of the country, including hosting YOUR mother for the duration, only to find that you are not spending Christmas Day with us, AND that you have not yet deigned to pin down a day to even visit. Furious, I tell you.

Why do you plan your other grandsons gifts with meticulous care and thought, special shopping trips and lots of dinners at your house and babysitting when you never invite mine, don’t know there names and only ever transfer money to them. What did they do wrong, they’re primary school children? They will begin to notice soon.

If you’re not cooking don’t come to me asking how long dinner is going to be ffs grow up and wait it is done when it’s done

I think I might be coming down with flu. I hope I am. That will mean I get to stop home and eat chocolate and watch films with my husband and daughter and not have to make polite chit chat.

You buy yourself whatever food you like whenever, so don't suddenly come over all precious about supermarket queues this week, when all the while you expect me to come up with delicious alternatives to the things everyone else is eating. 'What am I having on Boxing Day?' You tell me, pal.
Bloody meat eaters.

im cooking for 7 people. We don’t eat sprouts. They’re not on the menu. So no you can’t bring your own, piss about in the middle of my kitchen cooking them with bacon lardons whilst I’m knee deep in Christmas dinner for SEVEN fucking Poole. Why would you think that’s ok? Just sit in the lounge and get merry and down without a sprout on your Christmas dinner

Sid, at some point you’re going to have to leave your horrible husband so just do it and spare us another Christmas of him performing “good dad”.

I wish I didn’t have to go to ILs. Wish I didn’t have to sleep in the uncomfy bed in the cold house. Wish my kids could wake up to gifts in their own home. Wish mil wasnt coming to visit and stay with us, 5 days after weve just stayed with her for 4 days. Too much.

Mum, I do want DD & I to go to your house for Christmas, you’re 81 and we never know when it could be your last. Plus, DD won’t eat Christmas dinner so I’d be cooking for one otherwise. However, you know very well that Dbro aka Golden Man Boy will sleep all day and end up not arriving until it’s dark like he does every Christmas that you host and you won’t want to sit down for Christmas dinner until he can be bothered to arrive and you’ll be trying his phone every 2 secs whilst moaning about him, all sodding day and it will ruin Christmas for us all. Plus when he finally does arrive, he will obviously be bringing DN (25 and sadly Schizophrenic) which although it will be great to see him again, if he has an ‘episode’, DD will be terrified. I just don’t know what to do?!?! We’re running out of time!

*Have invited Mum here but the mere suggestion of her not spending Christmas with Golden Boy was met with horror and Dbro & DN definitely cannot come here! The house is far too small to fit that many people, they’ll be sat on the floor! And again, if DN has an episode, it’s even worse here as we can’t escape! Tragically, DN lost his mum on Xmas day a few years ago so it is very likely to happen, poor lad.

Genuinely curious why you can’t just boil a few sprouts for those who do eat them? Or even put a bowl of them the microwave with a cup of hot water??? Seems a little rigid to me but then I love sprouts so I’m biased!

@KStockHEROI’d cancel on them last minute so that they have no choice but to stay!

Sisters - you cannot be utter selfish controlling arsholes for 5 years, not speak to me, not tell me ever when mum has had a fall etc and I only get to know when I go round and see the bruises! - and then expect me to yield to your will and cooperate with a rota like system to see her in hospital! I will go and visit her when I want to, it’s not my problem if you do not want to be in my presence!

DH - Christmas hasn’t just come out the blue, you haven’t helped buy presents, haven’t helped wrap them, distribute them - I’ve done absolutely bloody everything you selfish shit! Yet I still had to host your family this weekend! Had enough and just want it to be over

You say you’re not leaving me out of things on purpose but it sure as hell looks like it when all I see are the pics later or you have conversations about something I haven’t been told about and I sit there clueless. One thing we did together recently, I took the pics so I’m not in those either. We’re all going through a lot but I’ve always tried to be there and I don’t feel I’m getting the same in return. Maybe if you saw the tears you’ve caused it would be different.

Also I hate the “no gifts, let’s just go out” thing that was decided without me. No I didn’t get a say there either. I like gifts, both giving and receiving and we definitely haven’t been out as much as was expected. Or maybe you have, without me.

I want to be alone on Christmas.

the last proper conversation I had with my lovely DH was on Christmas Day last year. I don’t want to go to parents and be festive and merry, I want a ready meal, Netflix and a box of chocolates and a box of tissues and to spend the day alone with my grief.

Tell them to take it in turns and mean it.

Tradesmen ruined my Xmas for second year. Every time we have someone in our house is worse than it was before.. . So much so I no longer love my house as I used to. I,ll just try again in the new year. I am opting out of Xmas!

I truly sympathise with you.

To my sibling 1 that had a massive issue with me for a year but didn't let me know until you suddenly went no contact but blamed me making a stupid joke... I see you for who you really are now.

Sibling 2. I really feel for you but your lack of boundaries is concerning. Your need to kerp up appearances is difficult to watch.

Sibling 3. Your greedy and entitled. Give mum back her money.

@Thirdtimeunlucky2025

💐💐💐 I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish you peace and strength this Christmas.

And do please consider honouring your own needs. I'm sure the people who care about you will understand. I certainly would. Or if you have to, develop a D&V 'bug' and tell them you're too ill to go.

I'm the grandmother. I'm not very well and disabled.
If I want to see any of my family this Christmas, today I have to visit my parents, children and adult grandchildren to give them presents. Not one of them would visit me. If I don't visit, I will be the one "being funny" and causing a family rift.

I'm really quite cross that on Christmas day at PIL's we will now also be joined by sil's parents. Her dad is a racist, misogynistic man, who generally sits there getting drunk and sending stupid messages to bil and nephews on their "lads' WhatsApp group. Apparently he's hilarious though, so that's okay. 😔

I lost my son 9 years ago. We just don't do Christmas any more. I used to love hosting Christmas because I am lucky to have a really nice family. But not doing it is fine.

If my dad calls in on the way to my brother's (Dad live in Lancashire, I'm in Wolverhampton and brother is in Cornwall) I send a bag of samosas to Cornwall with him.

I have been buying your family samosas for years, probably over a decade. I always send vegetable samosas. I know you have one vegan and one vegetarian adult children and I know the third has a peanut allergy.

They are not cooked in peanut oil, they never have been.

Oh and I still don't want to talk to you. I wish you no ill will but my life is better without you in it.

Oh and buying things for your disabled sister who used to do arts and crafts Xmas presents, have a bloody think. I can't do crafts any more

I have told you repeatedly that I read on my kindle, books are too heavy. I have never played a music instrument so why get me a ukulele? Adult colouring book? Sewing kit?

This is why I don't want any presents from you.

Too much stress. Too much buying random stuff because I’m in panic mode. Questioning why I’m doing this. This is not the only time I can show I appreciate people.

Agree! Iv got less staff in for Christmas eve than today and tomorrow, yesterday was pretty hectic and Im amazed how many were shocked, because it was Sunday they thought it would be quiet 🤣🤯

Husband why were you out for 9 hours 'christmas shopping' yesterday with your dad? And why were you so annoyed to be held to account about it by me and the kids?

Oh yeah, because you are a neglectful narcissist who withdraws when he is held to account about anything.

You have been miserable since you finished work for christmas, yet you can go out and booze, eat, be merry with your dad. Fine good for you, maybe I would like to go out with you once? Or even just watch a film? No you would never allow that.

It was 17 years too the day that you went on a massive bender when our first child was born, her in an incubator me just had a hemorrhage and painful assisted delivery. Didn't remember to turn up to the hospital the next day. I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU THEN!

When you were out yesterday I had such a lovely peaceful day, I felt like myself for the first time in years, now I have to spend christmas with you, you miserable selfish man, sitting there with your miserable bloody face determined to control the mood. Fuck off.

You have all broken me. I used to love Christmas, now I dread it. You have sucked ALL the joy out of it. I am finally realising that I'm just, in essence, here to do everything for all of you and then sit on my own as you all disappear to your rooms once I've fed you and handed out the carefully thought about gifts.

Do none of you ever notice that the only one NOT opening anything is me? No, of course not, it wouldn't even occur to you to get me even a fucking generic bath set or something, just to show the thought crossed your minds.

I get it. I'm nothing and nobody. Unless you need something. I get it now.