Say here what you can’t say in real life - Christmas edition

[Rainallnight]

If you have someone in your life who is driving you mad or making you brim with rage this Christmas, tell them here!

Get it off your chest in a safe space so you can turn around, smile, and offer them a sherry.

NB - this isn’t AIBU. All gripes are correct and permitted.

I will start.

SIL, I am furious that we have driven hundreds of miles with small DC to spend Christmas in your part of the country, including hosting YOUR mother for the duration, only to find that you are not spending Christmas Day with us, AND that you have not yet deigned to pin down a day to even visit. Furious, I tell you.

SIL, it’s almost time for the long self-serving text about how busy you’ve been and how you haven’t had a chance post my Xmas present in time so it will be late. You don’t work (I work about 50 hrs per week), your children are all adults and fully independent, you certainly don’t spend your time keeping your house clean so I’m really not sure how you’ve been so busy, but in any event, don’t bother posting anything to me if it’s going to be purportedly from my brother. I don’t want anything from him.

DSis, yes, actually I CAN spend Xmas on my own and I don’t care if you ‘hate to think’ of that. I’m not doing it because I have no other options, I’m choosing to do it because I want to. It’ll be calm, peaceful and enjoyable; I’ll be in my home with my comforts around me, I’ll eat food I want to eat, I won’t have to pander to anyone or walk on eggshells. It’s more than two decades too late for you to start being concerned about what I do for Christmas. You had the opportunity to ease the burden year after year for so long and you never did, I didn’t mean that much to you evidently, so keep your concern now, thanks, and let me do what I want without the faux worry and doe-eyed “I just hate to think of you all alone” crap.

I think my DH is spineless and I resent him for it! Apparently his ex claimed Tax credits in his name when they weren’t together. It now needs paying back and instead of trying to get it sorted we now have to pay it. We as in me, DH, and of course our children. His ex earns 40k more than us a year and yet it’s us paying it.
My mum died on Xmas Day 3 years ago and I just want my mum so so bad.
I just don’t want to do Christmas this year and I just want the world to stop so I can get off and just fuck off far away

Oh. And No, I won’t be visiting our Dfather, just like you didn’t visit DM as she lay dying in hospital as you drove past. I won’t be coming to visit because I resent everything about him, and you. If either of you think it’s fine to pretend to be disabled so my lovely DM literally died trying to do everything for him then I am absolutely done with the pair of you

This isn’t an angry one. To the guy who I nearly spent Christmas morning with.. I know you might well see this. I’m not annoyed in the slightest, but I’m gutted and I took it harder than you will ever know. I’m not sure the woman you’re looking for exists, and I would have been good for you ❤️, but I wish you all the best and I hope I keep it together when I see you on Thurs from the other side of the room x

I don't care how many times shops decide I haven't had 'Merry Christmas Everybody' or 'Wonderful Christmas Time' blasted at me enough this year, I'll be out of there quicker than normal.

Oh and thank you so much for your 'Merry Christmas/Happy Christmas Viviane!' one line message that took all of 5 seconds when you couldn't give a toss the rest of the year.

Oh and thanks very much to the entitled twat who obviously decided he didn't like wearing a face mask so I caught their flu despite the fact I was wearing one as I do as standard when out during winter. Unfortunately I live in an area where people aren't exactly bright.

I’m annoyed that my MIL cba to buy my daughter a present so has sent us the money to sort, which we have. She now tells us she won’t be running around on Christmas Day this year (never does) and so the likelihood is she won’t even get it. But MIL will definitely be making the effort for her favourite GC and DS who live down the road and she sees all of the time. Your double standards piss me off.

Most of these things really need to be said in real life.

I am so sad and lonely without my wonderful wife who died of cancer 2 years ago. I want to die and be with her. Christmas means nothing now. I'm not sure it ever will again. 20 more years of nothingness possibly.

What part of ‘can you buy 6x gift bags of around A5 size, no bigger’, translates into bringing home 6x shopping bag sized gift bags? Can’t use a single one and I needed them to make up little treats for the neighbours with kids! A Lindt bear and coins look bloody stupid at the bottom. Will have to go out and buy them myself tomorrow now.

IRL I said, oh they’re a bit bigger than I’d hoped for but I’m sure I can make them work…

I feel really immature and selfish saying this as DD17 is autistic and has ADHD. But just once please just get me a Xmas present so I’m not left out on Xmas Day. I remind her on the month run up to Xmas maybe twice a week and she has photos for ideas or specific things I’d like. It’s just from Amazon of which she has her own account. She has plenty of regular money of her own but spends it on Fortnite or sensory slime. I’m a single parent and don’t get gifts from anyone else. Just once I’d like her to think of me

@CautiousLurker2 cut the bottom corners off to make little triangular bags? Hole punch through them for a bit of closing ribbon?

Great idea! I’d never have thought of that and I have lots of shiny ribbons to do that with.

I hate fucking dementia.
I hate my fucking sister who sees that as my problem

Parent your fucking child and enabling the entitled and intolerant behaviour that is becoming more and more obvious to everyone but you

Had a great Aunt like this, Grandads' much older sister.
Myself, older brother, two cousins.
Always got a hand-picked selection box of full size chocolate bars, an annual like Roy of the Rovers etc and later a book token, and then randomly ludicrous gifts. Really really expensive...bless her, she was adorably quirky.

I am shocked and horrified by some of the MILs described on Mumsnet. I’m a MIL myself (1son married other 2 in stable relationships) and the idea of being a miserable critical piece of work shocks me!! I try and be kind and loving to the girls, they are the top women in my sons’ lives now!
I'm commenting because I’m getting a bit scared that maybe at some random point in time I will go mad and become a monster..!!!

I'm so sorry. How dreadful. Doesn't sound as if Christ is the centre of your church. Perhaps it's time to have a talk to the.minister.....

Mum -
I’m aware that it’s Christmas and that you think this should override everything else. It doesn’t. I received the digital card. Seasonal gestures don’t create obligations and they don’t alter established boundaries. I won’t be sharing details of our lives. Not now. Not because it’s Christmas. There’s a reason I went no contact.

I see you.

We’re not doing Christmas the way you think we should. No tree. No church. No turkey. No performance for an audience that mistakes obligation for virtue. Your approval is not a missing ingredient. We’ll spend the day as we choose: at home, comfortable, unobserved and content. What we eat, drink, watch or read is immaterial. Your opinion doesn’t enter the equation.
I don’t tell you where we live. I don’t describe how we spend our time. That information is no longer available to you.

This is not punishment. It’s a boundary.

And it’s permanent.

I already know you and your rude spoiled child are going to spoil it

I’m with you @EponymousEponine. My mum died in November and I just can’t wait for it all to be over. I smile through gritted teeth when anyone wishes me a happy Christmas. I just want to scream how the f@#* am I going to have a happy Christmas, I’ve just lost my mum! Sending you strength & sympathy ❤️

I have had enough ! You seem to not realise that although I am YOUR child I'm not A child. Stop treating me like a kid & respect me as the adult I am, I am a grandmother now not a little kid !!

Our children are not a prop for you to pretend you are a fantastic father to your new partner when I do all the parenting and you see them when it suits you for a couple of hours. I hate the fall out from our children after they spend time with you where you do nothing to make them feel safe or stable. I hate that you shout at them horribly for no reason and then question why I won't force them to see you for the next few weeks/months.
I hate and feel so guilty that you are what they got for a father and I'm so grateful that they have my family, your mother and sister and my partner to love them and treat them the way they deserve

I don’t have the physical or social energy you youngens have. If you want to play games, play fecking games. Don’t tell me you’re all waiting for me after I’ve spent all day on the go. Let me sink into the sofa with a Baileys and zone out for a bit 🙏

I am so very sorry 💐