Say here what you can’t say in real life - Christmas edition

[Rainallnight]

If you have someone in your life who is driving you mad or making you brim with rage this Christmas, tell them here!

Get it off your chest in a safe space so you can turn around, smile, and offer them a sherry.

NB - this isn’t AIBU. All gripes are correct and permitted.

I will start.

SIL, I am furious that we have driven hundreds of miles with small DC to spend Christmas in your part of the country, including hosting YOUR mother for the duration, only to find that you are not spending Christmas Day with us, AND that you have not yet deigned to pin down a day to even visit. Furious, I tell you.

Blimey, reading more of these I think we need an ‘Angry on Your Behalf’ react button @Mumsnet (Please! Alongside the laughing emoji reaction being returned to us. Pretty please, it’s Christmas).

Please help me get through the couple of hours with my narc brother and equally awful sis in law.

My mum will again roll her eyes and tut at the amount of gifts my daughter has. So what?

I’m fed up of doing all the work while having no Christmas break, working long hours and late finished work in retail. I feel like packing the stuff away and saying if you 2 can’t be bothered then neither can I. Living with Df and DBRO until I can move out again

Another thing. Everyone else in the office is on their last day today and dicking around. I want to tell them all to shut the fuck up as I have a lot to do still!

DP, please don’t moan about the cost of this time of year and how we need to not spend any more until NYE and then go out with your work colleagues to an expensive restaurant for an unplanned lunch today, for which the company isn’t contributing to. I have no issues with you going out, but stop the moaning about the cost of things we’re doing when a) you can afford it and b) you are going to spend a load of cash today without complaint.

Dear friend, you are a shitty grief thief. Stop making other people’s misfortunes all about you. Your need to secure the moral high ground at every opportunity is tedious.

That feels better. Thanks for the thread @Rainallnight

My extended family (parents, siblings) doesn't speak to each other, visit or exchange gifts, yet somehow I'm still out here buying presents, visiting everyone and passing on "family news" (gossip) like a mug. That's standard.

But the real treat this year? My sister has jumped straight from a bad relationship into a new one without taking a single breath. This guy ticks all the boxes: lives with his mum, minimum wage job, multiple kids he doesn't see, failed business debt, and apparently has no internal monologue. Just... nothing going on upstairs.

Yet he's splashing cash on designer clothes and she's absolutely glowing with smugness about it all. I'm sitting there nodding along thinking "babe, you're better than this" but nope - straight from one disaster to the next without a pit stop.

I just want to shake her and say PLEASE be single for five minutes and figure yourself out! But instead I smile and say "oh how lovely, happy for you!"

Merry Christmas! 🎄🙃

Dear Mr customer, your poison pen email was safely recieved today. Your pig ignorant comments displayed your stupidity and entitlement to absolute perfection and provided many, many pleople with much needed merriment. Regrettably, your case will not be escalated. You are no more important than a lot of far more pleasant customers and will wait your turn accordingly. I sincerely do not care if we have ruined Christmas for you, in fact, I secretly hope we have. Please do write to watchdog, they could also use the laugh. Finally, I confirm that we are all going off for the holidays and shall not give you a second thought.
Regards

Dear extended family and friends. I know you’re all busy with a lot going on but Christmas alone sucks. Would it kill one of you to just give me a call on Christmas Day so I can speak to a human? I cared for your unwell parents for years and they were always happy to welcome you, even when times were tough. That works both ways.

DH, we are spending 2 full days over Christmas with your family, which is fine by me even though I do find days with your family really full on, having to sit and make small talk all day, it’s not a relaxing or fun day. So no I do not want to attend this 3rd full on family day which is now being organised just 2 days after the last one! I’m more than happy for you to take the kids and leave me to spend a day in my pyjamas at home or sorting stuff out around the house, but apparently that makes me selfish as I should want to spend every minute of my precious free time over Christmas either doing something or being with your family. Let me just have some time to chill out without making me feel guilty please!

Mine is fairly lighthearted but FiL no I don’t want to rearrange plans and come round at 10.30am just because BiL has now decided today he wants to leave straight after lunch, so we have to get there earlier to do presents.

Last year I drove 3 hours to visit family on Christmas Day, this year I want to enjoy a lazy morning in my own home with my kids in this pjs opening their presents, Buck’s Fizz and a fancy breakfast without the rush to get ready and leave the house.

Ds I love you very much but you are actually a shocking parent to your own dc and horrible to your long suffering wife (who I actually really like)

you knew Christmas was coming months ago

Please get some help next year. We’ve all tried.

and I’m really very worried about you

Your needs all completely contradict each other so better you just do your own thing which will make you all much happier.

Hang on, I'm assuming these are DC you're talking about? Why are you not marching them to the shops and demanding they buy you a present? Why are you not turning the WiFi off until they've done the washing up or similar?

Sometimes it's up to you to forcibly prevent them from being selfish arses.

This is just my subliminal message into the ether for some IRL people around me- not referring to anyone else’s situation. Wishing everyone else the very best there can be. Peace and love Also, I am telling myself, this is just a short few days. Let’s all make all of the other days brilliant

I miss you both every day of the year, but christmas without you both is painful.
Maybe the coming year will be hopeful.

Christmas is my favourite time of year. You know this yet every single year you find a way to ruin it for me. I did all the shopping, I bought all the presents, wrote all the cards, booked all the relevant events and all I get from December 1st is how much you hate it and all the things I have done wrong. I’ve told you, you don’t have to attend or partake in anything but you insist on it so you can list all the things I’ve done wrong.
Another Christmas Eve sat in tears whilst you berate for apparently being passive aggressive in a group text. Merry Fucking Christmas.

Take your children off their phones. They’re too young for them and have turned into rude little zombies.

Please do all you can to get rid of this person from your life. Joy sucker supreme. WHY are people like this - and why do spouses/children/relations put up with it?

How are you still alive to continue being the cunt you’ve always been?!!

Both of you knew full well that we were doing our family Christmas day today. So, what gave you the impression I'd be pleased to see you just as we were eating lunch?? Too polite just to carry on, mine ended up cold and mainly in the bin. Thanks.

Sorry PP you should have said ‘oh - lovely to see you but I’m afraid we are having our Christmas and have just sat down to lunch. I’ll call you next week - next time please message and check we are available before you make the trip!’

Jeez PP GET RID.

You poor girl, find some balls/inner strength from somewhere, and get rid of this complete waste of space, and live a better life…

Excuse me but I'm reviving this because I need to say:

MIL, I told you I was baking a particular Christmas delicacy. I told you I was making it from scratch including the candied fruit peel and please don't go and buy it.

The fact that you bought not one but two of them and that one is half eaten and available on the countertop and the other in the pantry makes me feel like my efforts are entirely unappreciated. And yes, you may very well have already had them on the order, but I let you know well in advance that this was something I was making and bringing, and you could have changed it. I don't think you understand that for me this is the equivalent of you making an expensive and incredible beef or turkey roast and bringing it to my house, only to find that I've got the equivalent from M&S already sitting in the oven.

While I'm at it, I should probably take back the wine I brought, given that although it's good stuff it's clearly not up to your £100/bottle standards and will never be drunk.