When did you stop (if you ever started!) kissing your child on the lips?

[FlickerBlackRed]

Just a musing - I dont think there are any right or wrong answers, but I went in to say goodnight to my DD17 tonight, went to give her a little peck on the lips, as we always have done, and she sort of offered her cheek instead, which she's never done.

It's fine, and I'll absolutely take my cue from her but I just wondered if it's weird that we've done it for this long and she's now feeling awkward? I mean, it never felt weird, but it just made me a little sad tonight.

Saying that, I haven't kissed my parents on the lips for a few decades, so I guess it may naturally taper off as kids grow up. But oh, my heart!

Not everyone views kisses as sexual. Obviously context and intention is important. Platonic kisses between family members can be perfectly normal.

I am a tactile person and I hug and kiss my DC all the time, but never on the lips.

12 year old dd still plants big kisses on our lips.

16 year old stopped years ago. She has allergies and avoids kissing anywhere near the mouth due to this. I can’t remember when she stopped kissing us in the lips tbh.

There is nothing sexual about this ffs. That comment in itself is awful.

I’ve never once kissed my children on the lips. I think it’s weird. Nothing sexual or inappropriate, just wrong.

My mum used to kiss me on the lips and I can remember hating it as a child. I put a stop to it as soon as I was old enough.

Ds7 wants kisses on the lips.. I try to swerve and do a cheek or nose but it's not good enough 🤣 I'd rather avoid any potential germ spreading

A quick peck with dry lips is hardly equivalent to a full on snog! The people who think it's gross seem to think it's some prolonged act with exchange of fluids, when in reality it's a very quick peck.

My DC are adults now but I just let them lead with what they wanted to do. My own parents showed me no affection at all, not even hugs or anything, so I would never turn away from my own childrens affection.

do you roll off your partner with semen dribbling down your thigh to run off and hug your children? if now why do you imagine someone gives their partner a blow job and then quickly runs off to kiss their kids?

Because it's not an inherently sexual act, and I don't know why people struggle to grasp that. It is first and foremost an act of affection that is on our lives for sometimes decades before any romantic or sexual acts.

Never.Always on head ,cheeks etc .No particular reason but probably because I didn't want their snot,dribbles near my mouth!

Ugh!!!! Never started! Cheeks, nose, forehead, everywhere but the mouth

clearly your 17 yr old finds it weird and distasteful too now - just remember the fact of so many people responding to your post and saying yuck, eww, will be what your child is hearing from their friends when they ask ‘do your parents kiss you on the mouth?’

This is just fucking weird. What an addled way to view the world.

I never kissed my mum on the lips and I didn't kiss my dc there either. I've always felt lips should be for partners only.

Its difficult isn't it when they start pulling away a little. I still remember how upset I felt that first time my children didn't want to hold my hand while walking down the street anymore.

Unfortunately, they go and grow up (and then they leave home) and there is sod all we can do about it other than accept it and let it happen. Doesn't mean it doesn't sting a little when we notice these little changes for the first time.

It doesn't. My dd demands i kiss her on the lips 🤣 but she has a friend who always tries to kiss her on the lips which makes her uncomfortable and she refuses.

I find it strange how many people think kissing their own children on the lips is weird. It does show their own sexualised view of kissing I suppose rather than it being an act of affection.

DDs are 8 and 6 and I'll still kiss them on the lips. I imagine it'll stop sometime in the teenage years.

exactly and the argument of "if she doesn't like it now it must have always been gross / inappropriate/ dirty etc. is so odd. by that logic we should never touch our kids. they'll get to an age where they don't want you to bath them, it doesn't mean it was wrong to do it once; they'll stop holding your hand, it doesn't mean it's inherently sexual / romantic; they'll stop wanting to climb in your bed for snuggles but that doesn't make you a pervert because they once loved it

When I was a young teen I saw a friend and her mum kiss on the lips. I didn't say anything as I was a quiet and polite child but it made me feel a bit sick. I'd never witnessed that between a parent and child before and it didn't feel natural to me, albeit it must have to them!

My son as a preteen and my daughters probably later maybe early teen. They stopped it when it felt more comfortable for them. They also started it. I never really thought about it either way.

There's no reason for the sneery emoji. I said in the same post you quoted that one of the reasons I might not choose to/ feel uncomfortable is because it triggers something in my own past - doesn't take an extraordinary level of empathy to figure out what that might be.

That doesn't mean I think there's anything inherently wrong with it, and I'm not going to make my daughter feel like she is gross, weird or wrong if she chooses to show affection that way. She sees me and her dad kiss on the lips, we love each other and she loves us and knows we love her so I guess she just follows suit. She also thinks she's going to marry her best friend and they'll both have a baby in their tummy so it can be twins - it's all perfectly innocent. I don't feel the need to redirect her however gently because I don't think she's doing anything wrong (admittedly if she's snotty or covered in food I might pass), but I'd only ever follow her lead in this.

There's no confusion - she knows full well she doesn't have to kiss anyone, anywhere if she doesn't want to and was horrified to report that some of her friends had kissed at school (she did demonstrate and it was a very chaste peck on the forehead) because 'we don't do kisses at school do we mummy, they're just for our family'.

Have never felt the need to kiss my children on the lips. Baby cheeks are just so deliciously kissable and I'm not keen on dribble or passing on germs to the children.

However, all families different. I would follow your children's lead and respect their wishes.

It's the same as the lips are inherently sexual/ romantic argument - a previous poster has already highlighted how absurd this is when there's plenty of other body parts that can be both sexual and used in other contexts with our children.

My kid is ALL up in my business all the time, being a parent is a pretty physical endeavour all round. It's weird that a peck on the lips is where we draw the line, particularly thinking of DD leaping into our bed with no pants on this morning and me waking up to a bare bum directly in my face. Although probably that's weird and gross to some too (it wasn't exactly my favourite to be fair).

When they were really young - maybe pre-school or Reception age?

At 17, no way!
My DD was never a fan of being kissed as an older child, we do the hugs and cuddles.

DS - can’t remember the last time I kissed him on the face. He still likes a hug/snuggle but he has to be in the mood.

Both DC are now in early 20s.

This reminds me of an adult female family friend when I was a child - she always insisted on big sloppy kisses on the lips. Yuck..

I kiss and cuddle my children a lot but never on the lips. Cheeks, forehead, top head. Even now as adults, we are still affectionate. But not the lips. Never really thought about why, it's just not what we do.

You kiss your child on the lips?? That’s so weird and inappropriate. I’ve never kissed anyone on the lips except partners. If my mum had done that, and at 17 at that, I’d have thought she’d lost her mind. I kiss my child on the cheek, head, forehead, give her hugs.

I've never kissed my children on the lips and I never would. Lips are for partners only. It makes me uncomfortable when I see mums kissing their children on the lips. And I think I silently judge. I'm a very affectionate mum.