When did you stop (if you ever started!) kissing your child on the lips?

[FlickerBlackRed]

Just a musing - I dont think there are any right or wrong answers, but I went in to say goodnight to my DD17 tonight, went to give her a little peck on the lips, as we always have done, and she sort of offered her cheek instead, which she's never done.

It's fine, and I'll absolutely take my cue from her but I just wondered if it's weird that we've done it for this long and she's now feeling awkward? I mean, it never felt weird, but it just made me a little sad tonight.

Saying that, I haven't kissed my parents on the lips for a few decades, so I guess it may naturally taper off as kids grow up. But oh, my heart!

I used to when they were toddlers / early primary,largely at their instigation - I guess it just seems natural/reciprocal for them to “kiss back” when aiming a kiss at them.

As they’ve got older (8 and 11 now) they initiate / reciprocate a kiss a lot less so they mostly “receive” a kiss from me aimed at cheek/forehead. Very occasionally they instigate a kiss and if they do it tends to be on lips.

f it’s a kiss on the lips it’s a tiny peck but I will give them a big smoochy kiss on the cheek!

I wasn’t shaming anyone, I was pointing out the reasons why most people appear to not do it.

Others have though 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is a very divisive topic (as I knew it would be). Same as someone having a bath then keeping the bath water for somebody after them.

Some gloriously batshit responses on this, as I suspected there would be. Mumsnet, you never disappoint! 🤣

It's a good job I'm made of stern, sensible stuff, as the inferring of me being a jizz-soaked, herpes-addled nonce who has forever scarred my poor, poor DD has been quite strong at times! 🤣

It's never felt weird for us as it's just what we've always done , and that includes DD to DH and I as well as the other way round! It was a fleeting moment last night that I noticed and mentally acknowledged, and I will take it on board going forward, so please unclench and rest soundly in the knowledge that a randomer on the internet's DD will probably be OK.

Thanks for the sensible, balanced posts though, everyone else! Someone mentioned there has perhaps been somewhat of a social/culture shift over the years - I dont know if this is sad or not, but I dont regret a single little kiss with my beautiful daughter as I honestly dont think she will, but if it's time for a change, I'm good with that ❤️

It's never felt weird for us as it's just what we've always done

Clearly it feels weird to your daughter. I wonder how long she's been worrying about it and working up the courage to finally say/do something about it.

My older ones have never wanted this, but my youngest always always offers her lips. It seems so natural to her. As a baby she kissed everything though. I think she is just quite tactile. She is 8 now.

My daughter is 11 and still seeks a lip kiss. My 8 year old has always wanted a forehead kiss. So I’m not sure.

I don’t know how you have sex but when I do it hands are involved too. I still touch my kids, make their lunch etc. I just wash my hands. Same as I would my face.

We kissed our kids on the lips. My DS had to have a whole routine of eyelash kisses, nose rubs, cheek kisses and then a kiss on the lips every night. It was lovely. There is nothing gross about it. I don’t know when it stopped. I would guess 10ish? It’s like not knowing it’s the last time you will ever wash your child’s hair. If you knew your heart would break.

For perspective, if you had to continue washing your child’s hair past the age that would be deemed normal, due to special needs, your heart work break significantly more!!

They need to be independent, that’s our job and it’s great when they are. A slight fleeting thought I’d ‘ahh that was the last time’ but as I say, perspective is would you prefer they weren’t independent like their peers? No of course you wouldn’t so perspective is key!

Exactly. I've never done it. Not sure why anyone would tbh. However this subject has been done again and again on MN.

Of course, my heart didn’t actually break when they left home or any other growing up stage. Of course all of us want our kids to live independent lives, and I’m very lucky mine do. I think you might be reading too much into a flippant comment.

Yes that’s because I have a child who is unlikely to ever be independent so when I see ‘flippant’ it gets my back up because I would swap my circumstances for yours in a heart beat!

Seeing parents kiss their children on the lips makes me cringe. My partners ex does it with their children. She did it the other day while she had a massive cold sore!! I was aghast. Lo and behold, the daughter then developed a cold sore. She’s only 4. Poor thing will have them for life now.