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Original poster

When did you stop (if you ever started!) kissing your child on the lips?

189 replies

FlickerBlackRed · 16/12/2025 22:45

Just a musing - I dont think there are any right or wrong answers, but I went in to say goodnight to my DD17 tonight, went to give her a little peck on the lips, as we always have done, and she sort of offered her cheek instead, which she's never done.

It's fine, and I'll absolutely take my cue from her but I just wondered if it's weird that we've done it for this long and she's now feeling awkward? I mean, it never felt weird, but it just made me a little sad tonight.

Saying that, I haven't kissed my parents on the lips for a few decades, so I guess it may naturally taper off as kids grow up. But oh, my heart!

OP posts:
HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 11:19

Lifeonapigfarm · 17/12/2025 11:00

I've never kissed my children on the lips and I never would. Lips are for partners only. It makes me uncomfortable when I see mums kissing their children on the lips. And I think I silently judge. I'm a very affectionate mum.

Lips are for partners only.

In your opinion. Others feel differently.

Do you really judge parents for a normal act of affection with their children?

FluffyBox · 17/12/2025 11:50

Interesting thread. It looks like most people see it as a no no.

My partner always jokes about his 4 adult female cousin (sisters) and how they all go in for a kiss on the lips with other family members and everyone turns their heads, because they don’t feel comfortable with it all and all cringe as it’s invading their personal boundaries. The sisters obviously think is appropriate but no one else likes it.

FluffyBox · 17/12/2025 11:55

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 11:19

Lips are for partners only.

In your opinion. Others feel differently.

Do you really judge parents for a normal act of affection with their children?

Show quote history

I think the difference is, a hug is a hug and happens between parents and children, family members, friends, and even strangers for example we meet where you give a polite hug. There is no other way to hug someone to show affection, where you can give them a kiss on of the hair, forehead, cheek, it doesn’t have to be on the lips.

My aunt used to kiss us all on the lips and we all hated it and wiped it off, because it was often wet and it wasn’t nice.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
MissyB1 · 17/12/2025 11:56

Lifeonapigfarm · 17/12/2025 11:00

I've never kissed my children on the lips and I never would. Lips are for partners only. It makes me uncomfortable when I see mums kissing their children on the lips. And I think I silently judge. I'm a very affectionate mum.

Judge away, doesn’t make you right and those other mums wrong 🤷‍♀️

Cottagegardendiary · 17/12/2025 11:57

Lochroy · 16/12/2025 22:51

WTF. Never. Gross. I have never kissed anyone apart from partners on the lips. Yuck.

Same here. Seems weird to me. My parents didn't either

santasbaubles · 17/12/2025 12:13

sharkstale · 17/12/2025 10:00

It doesn't. My dd demands i kiss her on the lips 🤣 but she has a friend who always tries to kiss her on the lips which makes her uncomfortable and she refuses.

Show quote history

I disagree. The fact that a 7-year-old girl tried to kiss me on the lips the very first time I was babysitting her is a clear indication to me that she didn’t know what was and was not appropriate.

sharkstale · 17/12/2025 12:15

santasbaubles · 17/12/2025 12:13

I disagree. The fact that a 7-year-old girl tried to kiss me on the lips the very first time I was babysitting her is a clear indication to me that she didn’t know what was and was not appropriate.

Show quote history

Maybe that kid didn't know boundaries but it doesn't go for all kids.

IceyBisBack · 17/12/2025 12:38

We just have never kissed our kids on the lips...head, cheek forehead.....sometimes wvn thir tiny feet, but not on the lips.
I never kissed my parents on the lips either! I do have a weird uncle who loves a big sloppy on the lips .... i avoid

usedtobeaylis · 17/12/2025 12:45

That it apparently creates confusion in children is THE most ridiculous thing I've read today 🤣. Fucking hell people are off their heads.

usedtobeaylis · 17/12/2025 12:46

santasbaubles · 17/12/2025 12:13

I disagree. The fact that a 7-year-old girl tried to kiss me on the lips the very first time I was babysitting her is a clear indication to me that she didn’t know what was and was not appropriate.

Show quote history

Some children have experiences that means they don't understand boundaries. You absolutely cannot take that and apply it to all children. The vast, vast, vast, vast majority of people - especially female - do not grow up to have an inappropriate view of kissing.

FluffyBox · 17/12/2025 12:50

usedtobeaylis · 17/12/2025 12:46

Some children have experiences that means they don't understand boundaries. You absolutely cannot take that and apply it to all children. The vast, vast, vast, vast majority of people - especially female - do not grow up to have an inappropriate view of kissing.

Show quote history

Yet judging by this thread it appears most people don’t think kissing on the lips is the norm either for a variety of reasons

AvocadoJam · 17/12/2025 13:29

Toddler age

I remember as a child hating my parents trying to kiss me on the lips. Seriously no need at all

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 13:33

FluffyBox · 17/12/2025 11:55

I think the difference is, a hug is a hug and happens between parents and children, family members, friends, and even strangers for example we meet where you give a polite hug. There is no other way to hug someone to show affection, where you can give them a kiss on of the hair, forehead, cheek, it doesn’t have to be on the lips.

My aunt used to kiss us all on the lips and we all hated it and wiped it off, because it was often wet and it wasn’t nice.

Show quote history

No it doesn't HAVE to be on the lips but it doesn't mean kissing your own child on the lips is wrong/gross/ sexual.

If you don't want to do it then that is absolutely your choice but people shouldn't try to shame others for having a different view.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 13:34

AvocadoJam · 17/12/2025 13:29

Toddler age

I remember as a child hating my parents trying to kiss me on the lips. Seriously no need at all

Whereas my child instigates it - amazing how children can all be different and how sweeping generalisations really aren't helpful.

AvocadoJam · 17/12/2025 13:36

@HighLadyofTheNightCourt Ah, but what age is your child? I'd be surprised if older than 12, and shocked if 17 TBH

The OP isn't asking about her child kissing them. She is specifically saying it is her doing the lip kissing

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 17/12/2025 13:36

I never kissed mine on the lips, nor my parents. I see that as just a romantic thing. The kids grandma used to sometimes but they were 3 or 4 when they told her no, it should be on the cheek as on the lips is a 'boyfriend/ girlfriend kiss'. I find the whole thing kind of odd honestly!

stressedstressed · 17/12/2025 13:36

I kiss my teens on the cheek
I do know a 50yo who kisses both mum and dad on the mouth though

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 13:40

AvocadoJam · 17/12/2025 13:36

@HighLadyofTheNightCourt Ah, but what age is your child? I'd be surprised if older than 12, and shocked if 17 TBH

The OP isn't asking about her child kissing them. She is specifically saying it is her doing the lip kissing

He's 11.

I'm well aware he'll start to not want to very soon but he still instigates it at bed time and we don't make a big deal out if it.
It's literally just a peck on the lips. Nothing more.

Borgonzola · 17/12/2025 13:41

My MIL hasn’t… Confused

Gowlett · 17/12/2025 13:43

I’ve never kissed DS on the lips. He will to me sometimes.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 17/12/2025 13:43

10/11

MidnightMeltdown · 17/12/2025 13:45

santasbaubles · 17/12/2025 12:13

I disagree. The fact that a 7-year-old girl tried to kiss me on the lips the very first time I was babysitting her is a clear indication to me that she didn’t know what was and was not appropriate.

Show quote history

I’ve had this as well. I went to kiss a friends child on the cheek and they went for the lips! I was a bit taken aback as it was so unexpected. Personally, I wouldn’t kiss a child on the lips.

UxmalFan · 17/12/2025 13:47

At one time several if my Irish friends used to kiss family and friends on the lips, don't know if this is still a thing.

MummyJ36 · 17/12/2025 13:52

Whoa this thread is a bit of an eye opener. I have never ever considered kissing my DC on the lips and never had a family member do that to me (and we are an affectionate family!). It feels way way too intimate!! If your child is indicating in any way that they want you to stop then you need to stop!

SJM1988 · 17/12/2025 13:56

My MIL still does with her children who are all 30-40's. For their family it is normal. She's even done it to me a few times as she just treats me like one of her own.

My DC do it to me (DS8 and DD4) but I let them initiate it not me. They understand its a mum and dad thing only (although DS8 doesn't with dad anymore) as they never do it with any other family members, even each other.