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Original poster

When did you stop (if you ever started!) kissing your child on the lips?

189 replies

FlickerBlackRed · 16/12/2025 22:45

Just a musing - I dont think there are any right or wrong answers, but I went in to say goodnight to my DD17 tonight, went to give her a little peck on the lips, as we always have done, and she sort of offered her cheek instead, which she's never done.

It's fine, and I'll absolutely take my cue from her but I just wondered if it's weird that we've done it for this long and she's now feeling awkward? I mean, it never felt weird, but it just made me a little sad tonight.

Saying that, I haven't kissed my parents on the lips for a few decades, so I guess it may naturally taper off as kids grow up. But oh, my heart!

OP posts:
CarlaLemarchant · 17/12/2025 06:55

DD aged 11 prefers a kiss on the lips, I go to kiss her head or cheek and she turns to give me a smacker on the lips. Only me tho, she only kisses her dad and brother on head/cheek.
I haven’t kissed DS on the lips for years.

It’s a show of affection between parent and child, not weird or gross. The implication being that it is sexual which it isn’t in this context.

I don’t think OPs 17 year has necessarily minded it for years and only just felt ok to asset her boundaries. I also think it’s rubbish that a parent kissing a child on the lips makes them think it would be normal for any other adult to do it.

Rumpoleoftheballet · 17/12/2025 06:59

16 yo DS will still give me a kiss on the lips but also sometimes proffers his cheek. I’m happy either way and don’t understand the ‘gross’ behind it. It grosses me out when I see a dog or cat lick human lips/face but can’t get worked up about children giving their parents a kiss.

BeanQuisine · 17/12/2025 07:01

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 06:51

This says more about you tbh.
We’re a tactile family and my 11 year old still chooses a kiss on the lips at bedtime. It’s completely innocent to kiss your own child. It’s fine if you choose not to, but to view it through a sexual lens is very much a you problem.

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I'm not talking about sex, I'm clearly talking about hygiene. Lips are an obvious portal to the mouth and its complex role in internal bodily health. We normally take various measures to minimise unnecessary intimate physical exchange via such routes.

I mentioned adult sex because believe it or not, there are some adult couples who do engage in oral sex. Their kid's lips really shouldn't then have to become involved in such exchanges of fluids etc., via non-sexual mouth kissing.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 17/12/2025 07:05

Apart from silly, lips pursed, MMMMMMMMAH! types of kisses when they were little, I dont think I have.

LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife · 17/12/2025 07:12

Quietly hands out pearls……..

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 07:12

BeanQuisine · 17/12/2025 07:01

I'm not talking about sex, I'm clearly talking about hygiene. Lips are an obvious portal to the mouth and its complex role in internal bodily health. We normally take various measures to minimise unnecessary intimate physical exchange via such routes.

I mentioned adult sex because believe it or not, there are some adult couples who do engage in oral sex. Their kid's lips really shouldn't then have to become involved in such exchanges of fluids etc., via non-sexual mouth kissing.

Show quote history

Do you mean to be so patronising?

Most people are intelligent enough to practice good hygiene and know when it is appropriate to kiss their own child on the lips.
Of Course I wouldn’t kiss my child anywhere straight after I’d engaged in oral sex. It’s. completely inappropriate and unnecessary for you to suggest that is happening.

But a quick peck on the lips before bed? Nah, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Why make it into something it’s not?

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 07:14

santasbaubles · 17/12/2025 06:55

I have never kissed mine on the lips and to be honest I think it’s weird and gross.

I remember babysitting a little girl when I was a teenager who tried to kiss me on the lips at bedtime and I was horrified that she thought that was a normal thing to do - I barely knew her. I think it creates confusion about what’s appropriate.

Only if you let it and view all kisses as sexual.

Nyancat · 17/12/2025 07:17

Dd 13 doesnt anymore, no clue when she stopped because it would have been led by her but she offers her forehead when she wants a kiss, still loves a hug though. Ds10 still does but no doubt will stop at some point. Hes really affectionate and full of hugs at home but we have moved beyond hugs at the school gates very recently. He now gives a shout and a wave.

BeanQuisine · 17/12/2025 07:20

Most people are intelligent enough to practice good hygiene

I'm sure that's largely true of most adults, which is why they don't kiss their children on the lips. It does appear to be a minority affectation.

Tillow4ever · 17/12/2025 07:22

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 17/12/2025 05:16

You and others are saying you go by what the child wants and is comfortable with...

But YOU brought them up to think it was normal! The poor things have had to go through the process of discovering they're the odd ones out in their peer group (hopefully not the hard way by being bullied for it), deal with all that embarrassment and shame, then pluck up the courage to let you know they now want you to stop. You could've just not started, and spared them all of that.

Signed: 54yo 'child' of mouth kissers who still cringes at the thought.

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ehy don’t you think it’s normal in a loving family? I get it if abuse is involved. I’m not a mouth kisser with my parents and have only ever taken what the kids have offered. As babies I reckon I’d have kissed their head at a ratio of 20-1 compared to their lips so why didn’t they “learn” that instead of lips? You’re the one making it weird or making it something it isn’t.

INeedNewShoes · 17/12/2025 07:23

FlickerBlackRed · 16/12/2025 22:52

Thanks all! I'd never really given it much thought, and the last thing I'd want to do is make her feel uncomfortable, but I feel she's slipping away from me as it is (that's me being dramatic! She's just becoming so grown up and no longer needs me like she did!), so it tugged a little at the heart strings tonight. Sigh.

You must have done a pretty good job of parenting because our kids are supposed to pull away and become more independent at this age. We're not there yet as my DD is younger but although I know it'll feel a little sad when she grows up, I see it as my job to bring her up to be independent and go her own way!

santasbaubles · 17/12/2025 07:30

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 07:14

Only if you let it and view all kisses as sexual.

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I’m saying I think it creates confusion in children about what is and is not appropriate. I am perfectly aware of what is and is not a sexual kiss.

Chemenger · 17/12/2025 07:32

Lochroy · 16/12/2025 22:51

WTF. Never. Gross. I have never kissed anyone apart from partners on the lips. Yuck.

I have to agree with this. I’ve never kissed my children on the lips.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 07:34

BeanQuisine · 17/12/2025 07:20

Most people are intelligent enough to practice good hygiene

I'm sure that's largely true of most adults, which is why they don't kiss their children on the lips. It does appear to be a minority affectation.

Not in my family or social circle. It’s normal for us to kiss our own children on the lips.
Just like it’s normal for you not to do it.

There’s no need to make people feel bad or accuse people of being inappropriate/gross/disgusting for doing something that perfectly normal and innocent.

Nobody is forcing you to do it so don’t be a dick about it.

Soontobe60 · 17/12/2025 07:35

Just yesterday I was looking after my grandchildren 7 and 5. When I dropped them off 5 yr old gave me a big hug and kiss on the lips, 7 yr old gave me a high 5, a grunt and quick cuddle. I take my cues from them. My 1 yr old will give me a snotty lick on my cheek when he wants cuddles 😂
I used to kiss my grandma on the lips up until, and including, the day she died at 101 years old. My adult children are definitely not kissers, but give me a hug and that’s ok.

Soontobe60 · 17/12/2025 07:37

BeanQuisine · 17/12/2025 07:20

Most people are intelligent enough to practice good hygiene

I'm sure that's largely true of most adults, which is why they don't kiss their children on the lips. It does appear to be a minority affectation.

Do you think it’s more hygienic to kiss someone on the cheek, literally 1 cm away from their lips, than on the actual lips themselves?

Maybeitllneverhappen · 17/12/2025 07:40

Have never kissed my children on the lips. Seems really weird to me to ever do that. Kissing on lips seems sexual to me; only partners not my kids!

Pinkclarko · 17/12/2025 07:42

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 17/12/2025 05:16

You and others are saying you go by what the child wants and is comfortable with...

But YOU brought them up to think it was normal! The poor things have had to go through the process of discovering they're the odd ones out in their peer group (hopefully not the hard way by being bullied for it), deal with all that embarrassment and shame, then pluck up the courage to let you know they now want you to stop. You could've just not started, and spared them all of that.

Signed: 54yo 'child' of mouth kissers who still cringes at the thought.

Edited
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I think you’ve made a good point here.

DinoLil · 17/12/2025 07:44

Bleurgh! I never kissed my DC on their lips, nor did my parents kiss me on mine.

Rusalina · 17/12/2025 07:44

AliasGrape · 16/12/2025 22:59

It’s not gross or weird to kiss your DC on the lips.

That said, I’d never really do it by choice.
DD is 5 and I smother her in kisses whenever I get the chance but they tend to be on the head/ cheek or just wherever, she had her arm pressed against me this evening whilst we were chatting so that got a few kisses.

DD is going through a phase of demanding she gets to ‘kiss me back’ at the moment and is also very interested in the concept of mistletoe (they sang Rocking Around the Christmas Tree at school and it features) so she keeps pointing at random branches and saying we have to kiss now. She always goes for the lips. I’m guessing it’s a phase and I’ll follow her lead but like I say, it wouldn’t be my go to and I’m anticipating it stopping long before teen years although I can’t really say why (there’s some stuff in my own past it’s probably triggering maybe?)

I was going to write something near identical to this.

I never kissed my babies on the lips for paranoia that I may be harbouring cold sore virus despite never having had one 🤣 but they very soon both began to deliberately kiss me on the lips, I suppose they saw me kiss other people (mainly their dad). But because of the aforementioned paranoia, I am in the habit of kissing their foreheads or cheeks.

But I really do think it’s odd to feel so strongly as some PPs apparently do about whether parents kiss their children on the lips or not. I think there’s something quite odd going on in your brain if you have a problem with it.

No one is snogging their children so what’s the problem? It’s just a peck! I have plenty of friends who will give me a peck on the lips. My grandparents and their brothers and sisters all tend to kiss people on the lips too.

MissyB1 · 17/12/2025 07:47

Ds is 16 now, I think lip kisses probably stopped when he was around 10. I kiss him on the top of his head now- but can only reach if he’s sitting down 😂
I find it fascinating how many people on here freak out about the thought of kissing their own child on the lips. I also wonder why so many people assume a peck on the lips has something to do with sex!

Pinkclarko · 17/12/2025 07:48

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 07:14

Only if you let it and view all kisses as sexual.

Show quote history

I had an adult friend who would try to kiss on the lips when we said goodbye. Pretty sure it wasn’t sexual either but I wasn’t delighted about it and it can be very difficult to tell them that you don’t want it.

youarebeingsoextrarightnow · 17/12/2025 07:53

My dad kissed my sister on the lips at her wedding as he was giving her away which i thought was odd - she's about 30 (we aren't close, i'm NC with father, seen photos online).

Before i went total NC with father I remember going round about 13 years ago so about aged 35 and when I went to leave he tried to kiss me on the lips, gross (we've never been close so don't know if this was ever a thing)

My DC about 3/4.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/12/2025 07:53

Pinkclarko · 17/12/2025 07:48

I had an adult friend who would try to kiss on the lips when we said goodbye. Pretty sure it wasn’t sexual either but I wasn’t delighted about it and it can be very difficult to tell them that you don’t want it.

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It’s perfectly okay to not want to kiss someone on the lips. I’m not advocating mandatory kisses for anyone. I’m just saying that it’s not automatically gross or sexual as some people are suggesting.

LondonLady1980 · 17/12/2025 07:54

I have two boys, 11.5 and 7.

They both still kiss me on the lips although I have started encouraging my 11.5 year old to kiss me on the cheek now instead as it’s feels more appropriate for his age.