9w old baby and husband says he's going to hang himself

[WhatAmIsupposeToDoNow]

I am really fed up with my husband. We have our 9week old daughter. He went to the Christmas party yesterday, stayed in a hotel overnight, came back home still drunk this morning. Stayed drunk all day (just wouldn't sober up), had a bottle of prosecco for dinner, and then opened another one. I was asking him to stop drinking. He then went on her w depressed he is and he doesn't want his life anymore (I heard this many times before).

Eventually I went upstairs and he came through the door to tell that he's had enough of this relationship and he's going to hang himself tomorrow. At this point I seriously want him to do it as I cannot take him anymore. Just fed up of constant drinking and constant issues in his life.

I am tired of looking after his mental health, finding doctors etc for him to see, supporting him in pretty much every way possible. I am so fed up with him. I am vulnerable myself given we have just had a baby and now he's yet again can't control himself. I get he might feel depressed but I seriously don't have it in me to help him out and deal with his bullshit yet again.

Before people suggest - I don't have family and friends in the country to help me out. I am getting baby passport done now so could go back and stay with my parents for a while. Going back to work after 6 months.

This is highly abusive. Ask him to go to a relatives tonight where they can watch him as you have a new baby. Re the new year make plans to have him move out

Call non emergency number and speak with them. There is a crisis going and you are all potentially unsafe.
Maybe they will maybe they won't bit you eill not know until you speak with them

@SpreadsheetWars - good advice. But I can't do it now as don't want him to hear me on the phone. So bit stuck in that sense

Why are you still in the house?

make sure you have life insurance for him. Other than that I would say leave him to it and if he attempts anything call the police. It is extremely manipulative and I am so sorry you have ti deal with that when your baby is 9 weeks old! it is already such a hard time, you are barely surviving on broken sleep and he should be your rock but instead demands you drop everything and look after him instead. Does he have parents near by? maybe he can go and stay there for a bit, say something like you should go and clear your head etc

sorry didn't read all the updates before I posted. Can you book cheap hotel near by and go there and call the police and say you a worried for his mental health?

And this ^ is how women and children end up as tragic headlines.

Because some people think they need to be considerate of hypothetical others while they and their loved ones are facing medical and possibly criminal emergencies.

Stop worrying about him. Don't ever worry about him again. He sure as heck isn't worrying about you.

Get to safety.

Call the police.

No, I said the best way for her to keep herself and Her child. Safe is to get out of the house now.
She hasn’t taken that advice.
And she’s still there three hours after he’s being abusive to her
She’s a sitting duck, what is she waiting for? If this is actually happening?

Update. Called police and they took him out. That only buys me 24 hours without him and have some peace at home. I can give statement which would potentially give me more time. But I am not 100% certain what exactly the outcome of me giving statement would be for him

Some peace and quiet and I don't need to feel scared at last

IF you wanted to say that and quite frankly I don't believe that, you would have left out the "daddy in cell at Christmas" part.

Yet again another thread I see you being ridiculous and antagonistic

Why the fuck would you care what giving a statement means for him?? FFS.

24 hours may seem a lifetime right now but it means you’ll be back to square one tomorrow - Christmas Day - unless you take action.

You give truthful statement. About the drinking, depressions, threats, verbal abuse and so on.
It may end up being the rock bottom he needs

Yes, be truthful OP and give a statement. He needs a lot of support/help that you can't give him. Otherwise he'll be out this time tomorrow and you're back at Groundhog day.

The breaking point tonight was him getting angry because I am all about the he baby and didn't offer him Lindt chocolate. Started shouting and throwing things to the floor and saying he's going to kill himself repeatedly shouting at me. Then he said to take the baby out of his sight. Which is when I hid in the bedroom and called police. At least baby enjoyed looking at policeman

Are you in the uk? Hopefully the police can arrange some MH support for him, he sounds like he needs a mental health act assessment.

I didn’t actually say any of that, but don’t let the facts get in the way will you?
Good to see that you’ve actually taken some steps OP now you need to stick with them

Thank you ladies for reading it through. My head is aching from all this. The timing couldn't be worse either. I can't help myself but think he's ruined our baby's first Christmas. I was looking forward to this so much, bending backwards for him just to ensure he has time to spend with us and now this.. I seriously don't know what I am going to do now.

Well done for calling the police and getting him out the house. You need to make a statement and make them fully aware of all of it. The drinking, the threats, the hatred towards the baby. You can’t be worried about what will happen to him. This is all his doing, anything that happens to him is his fault. Right now you need to worry about yourself and your baby.

There is no in else to protect your baby and he is behaving in a way that suggests he is likely to hurt or endanger them.

Stay strong, tell the police everything, protect yourself and keep this man away from DC. It’s the right thing to do. For you, for baby, and for DH who isn’t going to change or get any help unless he faces this. This is the only way he will accept his behaviour is out of control.

It's not ruined at all.

Being around him acting like that tomorrow would have ruined it.

You got this. Did the police say what they would be doing with him?

@MissDoubleU - thank you. I'm certainly concentrated on what's the best for the baby. But must admit, I still love him and care about him. Even I very well recognise how badly he's treated me.

@PullyDog - I am not entirely sure. I would expect he'll get interviewed/ assessed for mental health and released in 24hrs if I don't give statement

Well done you brave woman putting your baby first.
Repeat to the police his threats to you, baby, about not likeing baby, wantint to kill himself.
Repeat them clearly.
He is unhinged.
You and baby are not safe with him.
He has threatened to self harm multiple times.
Spell out your fear of him hurting you and the baby.
Hopefully they will take it seriously.

Well done. You must must must make a full statement. About his uncontrolled drinking. How he's threatened to kill himself if you leave - yet tried to throw you out of the house.

About his raging jealousy of his own baby causing him to fly into a rage and hurl things around that could have hit the baby - who has witnessed this.

You're still chewing over what will happen to him if you do make a full statement.

You have to shift your mindset and think what will happen to your baby (who has witnessed this) and to you if you don't.

The tiniest baby exposed to verbal and physical abusive behaviour will suck it all up, observe, learn, be traumatised and changed by their experience. Google 'how does growing up in a home with alcohol abuse and violent behaviour affect children?' and the resulting reading will help you.

Your duty lies with your baby who can't help himself, not with your partner, who can but won't.

Take some time to write everything out especially if you can't sleep. We can help you compose your statement, no doubt lots of us will be checking into MN tomorrow.

op, stop, and breathe. You are your baby are going to celebrate Christmas. Start celebrating now, calmly at home with baby. Take your time, you have 24 hours. Sing jingle bell rock and dance :) do baby’s presents.
then, Can you go anywhere for Christmas Day? Pack overnight stuff in the car for you and baby. I’m really worried he threatened your baby.

@JFDIYOLO - I grew up with dad who was heavy drinker sso unfortunately know well how it affects children. ..

Does anyone know what are realistic consequences of me giving a statement? I want to be able to have a full picture.