Under 35s: Do men on a postnatal ward bother you?

[newbluesofa]

I'm always surprised to see that the general attitude on MN is that men shouldn't be allowed on postnatal wards overnight. My husband was so helpful, got me everything I needed, changed every nappy, held the baby so I could sleep, I didn't lift a finger. Overnight I barely slept because baby wouldn't settle and I wish he'd been there.

Speaking to my friends they all agree that they don't have a problem with men being there. They're helpful, especially when midwives are so short staffed, especially for women who have had C sections. We just drew the curtains and got on with it, ignored the other men and they ignored us.

I'm going to get lots of accusations of ageism here, but I often see women who don't want men on the wards saying things like 'back when I had my baby 20 years ago'. So I'm wondering if it's a generational thing? So if you're under 35ish (just as that's the age of my circle) do you have a problem with men staying on postnatal wards?

I think the problem is also that we don't have enough hospital staff, and hospital security staff, to deal with disruptive visitors.

When I had my first the husband and two older children of the patient opposite me were firmly turfed out by the Matron. He was sat up on the bed for the third time and the older kids (maybe 4 and 5 ish) were running
riot. They were warned twice by the matron, then kicked out. He was very firmly told security would be arriving shortly if he didn't leave, he wasn't to come back until tomorrow and he was only to come back with no children or well behaved children.

When I gave birth to my youngest my DH had to go on the hunt for some staff when I started haemorrhaging as nobody answered the emergency buzzer. Certainly nobody was around who could/would sort out disruptive visitors.