Do you have a good relationship with your MIL

[Rosemary183]

I’m curious. My relationship with mine has been full of tensions and unsaid upsets. She’s not much of a communicator and tends to try to get her feelings across to us through SILs being the messenger. She doesn’t want to change. I haven’t seen her in years and my marriage has been so much more peaceful for it. I think we’re just extremely different and see the world in different ways, but I do wonder what it would be like to get on well with a MIL.

@MermaidMummy06 same ruined so many precious family moments with her sheer madness and dysfuntion

Also it's extremely sad and lonely and not good all around.
Mn has massivley helped me over the years with it.
It upsets me when people minimise the damage on here a bad mil can do

No, and not from the start. She made a few comments very early into knowing her that caused me to strongly dislike her and when I brought them up to my husband, he denied the possibility of her ever saying such things, would caused marital problems for years, especially when I said that I wanted nothing to do with her if this was how it would be. Luckily, she doesn't live close.

Generally yes, she is very kind and both PIL’s do so much to help us out.

She can be very neurotic which is draining and we are different as people so wouldn’t necessarily spend time alone together without the grandkids but I am very fond of her and my kids adore her.

I feel for people who have nightmare MIL’s, that isn’t my experience at all.

My DP's mum looked down on people from a certain country. My grandfather came from this country and my surname is from this country. I told her this but it made no difference.
When DP and I had been together 15 years she said I should not be in a family group photo. This was ignored but she made sure I was at the side! (Easier to cut out!)

Yes they do thankfully, but my mum lives 4 hours away so although we face time and talk a lot, we only see her probably every 6 weeks or so. They also have an amazing step nanny too, although we of course never refer to her as that.

MIL is a awful parent and she will never be given the true potential to be an awful grandparent as I won’t subject my children to her behaviour and myself and DP would never trust her to be alone with them anyway. She’s said things in the past to my 4 year old Infront of me that I absolutely do not agree with.

I wish I could say the same. I VVLC and visit her every now and again with my DP and the kids, but hate every moment of it. She is a nasty, manipulative woman. I am waiting on the day my DP has a reality check and finally cuts the cord on contact because she makes him nothing but miserable, he knows what she is like, but always says “she’s still my mum”, I would never force him to not speak to her, but it’s at the point where I don’t want my children in contact with her and that is a sore subject between us both.

I get on pretty well with mine - she's elderly and quite hard work - demanding in some ways but not in others. She's obsessed with her health and is constantly at the doctor and having tests for anything and everything.
DH and I make sense of her by
realising she's probably on the spectrum - she's very blunt (rude at times) and can have obsessive grudges and tantrums but she's quite kind and independent in many ways and we try to understand that certain behaviours are not a choice on her part. I just hope she goes before FIL who is adorable as I think she'd be a nightmare without him to manage her moods.

No, she's a c*nt. And I never say that word in real life.

Most of the time, yes. But when she has a glass of wine or 6 she turns nasty and bitter so I tend to keep my distance. She loves our dc and is good to them though.

I get on well with my MIL, we don’t see her often as she doesn’t live local but DH FaceTimes her regularly.
She comes to stay at Christmas and dotes on her grandchildren. She’s always been very supportive of mine and DH’s relationship and she’s just a genuinely lovely woman