Absolutely @MrsMurphyIWish i tread a fine line with my autistic dc - that something that causes you stress may be worth doing if it’s in your strategic best interest for work/qualifications/life skills.
if it genuinely has no value and causes you stress and discomfort - then ok but you’ve got to have a plan and evaluate.
the system for DLA etc doesn’t have good incentives - if your children are doing better, and can cope with more, their care needs are lower and go down, and often carer mums are on their own and have given up work due to tiny cliff edge for hours carers are on, and challenges of sole parenting a child with additional needs. We need to be able to talk about this without blaming anyone.