How do I not have the biggest ever fall out with my cousin

[thetallfairy]

Hello all

I'm in such a pickle

D dad passed away a few years ago

We inherited his 100 acre farm
Cows and lots of sheds

My two sisters and I are clueless
Never had money
We know nothing about what to do really

So I asked my cousin if he was interested in some land
This land is in a great area good quality
I got it valued
He offered half the price it was valued at
Didn't want a fight I said ok if that's all you have

He came to me a few months later with 1/3 of the price he offered
Paltry amount

This was 18 months ago
Since then he has been making changes to this area of land
It's obv not his
So I messaged him
Told him the final amount is now due

Nada

No word
No mention

Wtaf

So
I am trying to muster the courage to hand the money back and say we have now changed our minds

My sis thinks I'm over reacting

I think he's a cheeky so and so

But we all have n bloody clue

She thinks there will be a huge row now

Aghhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhh

This sort of social pressure was partly put on people back in the day because of anxiety about what 'people would say' in the wider community. And some people in the wider community would rather the land didn't pass to a different community.

Thankfully we're past that now in these enlightened times.

Bizarre thread

Agree go straight to.solicitor tl work put next steps

There cant be a transfer of land without written transfer....but you got yourself in a pickle. He's a conman

The penalty for being soft, this person thinks nothing of you. Go legal.

For a starter, the solicitor is there to protect you, not "screw you".

Why would you agree to sell the land for 1/2nd of the value to start with. ?

Insist On selling the land at full value. This man is a piss taker. Shut him down.

You own the land until it is paid for in full, especially without an agreement. You need to get legal advice. It will cost you far, far, far, far less than pursuing this independently.

You've probably communicated to him at some point that you have no clue so he should take over. He is clearly now taking over and is happily doing so without any document that restricts him or holds him accountable. You must be careful that he is doing things without local authority permission, because you'll be liable for anything not approved.

So this has the potential not just to cost you what its worth, but a lot more on top. You say you've never really had a lot of money and this is one way to lose not only what you were gifted, but everything else you have toboot.

OP You need to start educating yourself - if you don't know about something. Then find out or ask the appropriate people. The internet is a wonderful thing and you can learn so much from it. So quit saying you don't know anything - and start finding out and get tough when you need to and stop being such a walkover.
It's a shame you didn't learn from your Dad when he was alive but as it is - you either learn about the farm and its business or sell off the whole lot legitimately and go and live somewhere else.
As regards the land, the deeds still register you and other family members as the owners. Until the proper legal work is done and completed - the money your cousin has handed over should be treated as 'rent' for use of the land in the interim. He does not own anything and the fact he does not want to involve solicitors speaks reams about him doing everything underhandedly and illegally.

Who cares? He's ripping the piss out of YOU! Give him his money back, tell him to "go forth and multiply" then take legal advice about selling something you and your family have absolutely no clue how to operate.

Did you get to see a solicitor this week OP?

I've just read through and it seems op cancelled solicitor so is back to square one.