How do I not have the biggest ever fall out with my cousin

[thetallfairy]

Hello all

I'm in such a pickle

D dad passed away a few years ago

We inherited his 100 acre farm
Cows and lots of sheds

My two sisters and I are clueless
Never had money
We know nothing about what to do really

So I asked my cousin if he was interested in some land
This land is in a great area good quality
I got it valued
He offered half the price it was valued at
Didn't want a fight I said ok if that's all you have

He came to me a few months later with 1/3 of the price he offered
Paltry amount

This was 18 months ago
Since then he has been making changes to this area of land
It's obv not his
So I messaged him
Told him the final amount is now due

Nada

No word
No mention

Wtaf

So
I am trying to muster the courage to hand the money back and say we have now changed our minds

My sis thinks I'm over reacting

I think he's a cheeky so and so

But we all have n bloody clue

She thinks there will be a huge row now

Aghhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhh

OP, are you in the UK, and if so, which country?

Did your late D Dad leave a Will?

If so, was the Estate probated, how was the inheritance of the farm managed and was Title granted to you and your sisters jointly?

Did you formally transfer Title to the land to your cousin?

What about Inheritance Tax, Capital Gains Tax etc.

Questions, questions . . .you definitely need legal advice, quickly.

Well that's so True

Outside of belfast

Uk laws apply

Honest people who intend to treat you properly like clarity, want good quality advice themselves and aren't afraid of you getting good quality advice either

Wowzaaa😬😬

lol play him at his own gain

In all fairness I deserve the harsh words

Push over etc

So fricking true sadly

Thank you all

Not strictly true - there is a separate system of land registration in NI and the actual legislation is different.

Have you confirmed you are consulting a solicitor as you seem quite spectactularly ill-equipped to be dealing with valuable land.

🔹 Equivalent Principle
Although the 1925 Act doesn’t apply, the same principle — that interests in land must be created or transferred in writing — does apply in Northern Ireland under its own legislation.
Specifically:

• Article 3(1) of the Property (Northern Ireland) Order 1997 provides that a conveyance of a legal estate in land must be made by deed.
• “A conveyance of a legal estate in land shall be void for the purpose of conveying or creating a legal estate unless made by deed.”
• Article 5 of the same Order mirrors section 53(1) LPA 1925, requiring that equitable interests in land be created or disposed of in writing and signed by the person creating or conveying the interest.
• Article 3 of the Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) (Northern Ireland) Order 1989 mirrors section 2 of the Law of Property (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1989, requiring contracts for the sale or disposition of land to be in writing, incorporating all agreed terms, and signed by both parties.

ah ok, I can’t offer any advise aside from getting the land properly valued and then let a solicitor deal with the sale. In the meantime, get them to write to your cousin to say that the sale with them isn’t going ahead as you’ve not been paid what was agreed and that he needs to vacate the land ASAP. I would offer him his money back as an olive branch to keep the peace, but don’t reimburse him for anything he’s done to it. He hasn’t kept to his end of the deal and considering you were being very generous, he’s taking the absolute piss. He should have paid you before investing money elsewhere. If you end up falling out, that’s on him and his actions on trying to take advantage of you.

You might be able to sell it in pieces. I’m not sure what the rules are for farming land in NI, but in the south, we sold some to farmers and the rest to families who wanted to build homes as there were old houses from generations back in some sections which meant it could be built on. You’ll get the best advice for that from the solicitor.

Don’t worry about upsetting family members who were happy to screw you over. Advising against using the proper process shows he was clearly taking advantage. Good luck x

I am loving that you found your backbone. Him
giving you cash is dodgy as fuck as without a paper trail there could be a money laundering implication. I look forward to hearing what your solicitor has to say and the response from your shyster of a cousin.

TLDR: Fuck Him Off! 💐

THIS!!!

Give the money back. Your DD left it to you not his nephew.
If your cousin causes a stink it's on him not you.

Employ a farming consultancy to help you - like Charlie who helps Jeremy Clarkson.

Family and business don't mix

You absolutely need legal advice

Land can only be sold legally by conveyance. Your land hasn't been sold at all. Go back to your solicitor and explain, and take proper legal advice. Your cousin is a dishonest chancer trying to screw you over.

Super helpful all

Clearly more bloody clueless than I had originally thought

Well appointment is booked and have to face up to this now

Thank you so much

This is the sensible way.
Sell the land to someone for what it is worth.

Land can only be sold be legal conveyance.

Talk to a solicitor.

Give the money back.

Snd then for the love of god get an agent who is used to selling agricultural land and farms and get the whole lot sold properly.

Seriously, you could make the farm as a whole unsaleable if you sell of bits of land piecemeal.

And your cousin is a swindling idiot : “The solicitor is out to get you” nonsense.

I am sorry you lost your Dad but it is now time to sort yourself out, do things properly and do right by your Dad’s hard work and investment in the farm.

Maybe not even touch any parts for sale !!!

Keep it for the grandkids (my dads grandkids)

Ughhhhhhh
Fuming I opened the door to him
Should have handed it straight back

Thank you all

Very wise words

Then he can’t prove the money he gave you was for the land, even as a deposit. Theres no paperwork either that you have or that he has that the land is his or promised to him. A gentleman’s agreement is not legally binding so even if you promised the land until legal papers have been completed it means nothing. As others say and I note you are doing get legal advice as they will tell you how you give the money back.

do you have anything in writing, texts or emails, to record how much money was in the envelope? in the lines of 'dear cousin, you only gave me x, when are you paying the rest?' For sure he will claim he gave you all he promised.

What work has he done on the land?

🤞

You need legal advice asap, the longer hes on the land the harder this will be

He knows youre grieving, and hes deliberately taking advantage.. why do you care if he kicks off? This isnt a relationship to maintain.

Speak to a solicitor get rid of your cousin and sell the land to someone who will pay its worth

Don’t do anything at all until you speak to a solicitor. Make sure your sisters don’t either - he might start going from one to the other to find the weakest link. Can all of you who were left the land see the solicitor together? Take any paperwork you have with you.

How much roughly is the land worth. If it’s only a few thousand then it may not be worth the aggro.