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Original poster

How do I not have the biggest ever fall out with my cousin

211 replies

thetallfairy · 04/11/2025 16:32

Hello all

I'm in such a pickle

D dad passed away a few years ago

We inherited his 100 acre farm
Cows and lots of sheds

My two sisters and I are clueless
Never had money
We know nothing about what to do really

So I asked my cousin if he was interested in some land
This land is in a great area good quality
I got it valued
He offered half the price it was valued at
Didn't want a fight I said ok if that's all you have

He came to me a few months later with 1/3 of the price he offered
Paltry amount

This was 18 months ago
Since then he has been making changes to this area of land
It's obv not his
So I messaged him
Told him the final amount is now due

Nada

No word
No mention

Wtaf

So
I am trying to muster the courage to hand the money back and say we have now changed our minds

My sis thinks I'm over reacting

I think he's a cheeky so and so

But we all have n bloody clue

She thinks there will be a huge row now

Aghhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
G5000 · 04/11/2025 20:46

You're worried there will be a huge row - there should be a huge row, he's trying to steal your land!

Original poster
thetallfairy · 05/11/2025 05:19

Thank you all

He has cleared the hedges on it as it borders with his other brothers land

He is taking the complete piss

I should have sent him off that day
Or at least checked the envelope and drove over to give it back and said the solicitor has advised it goes through him

Foolish

But I will hopefully get it sorted this week

He thinks he can stomp around and take things he did this a few years ago with some machinery but I didn't get involved

OP posts:
LouiseK93 · 05/11/2025 18:28

What have the cows been doing the last few years? 🤣

envbeckyc · 05/11/2025 18:52

You should deduct marketable rent value from the money he gave you!

If he doesn’t have the deeds he has no right to the land!!

Return the money minus the rent on the land, and sell it on the open market!

Khayker · 05/11/2025 18:59

thetallfairy · 04/11/2025 16:40

Well absolutely

None of us had a clue

And he knows this

I thought the original amount was a deposit and he would bring the rest when he could

I guess what I think now is

Should I just get the money back and say nothing from there on?

Get a solicitor to deal with him. Don't do it yourself. He's trying to fleece you because he knows you don't understand. Sell up as this seems far too much for you.

Comicalblackcat · 05/11/2025 19:11

OP, you have been given the advice to contact your solicitor he is the one to sort it out. No one has the right to do anything until it goes through the Land Registry, stop doing anything yourself and be guided and helped by your solicitor and ignore all the threats. Good wishes, look after YOURSELF.

Cherrysoup · 05/11/2025 19:37

thetallfairy · 04/11/2025 17:28

He may try to charge me for the work he has done on the land

Hey ho

He can try but he’s done that without permission and doesn’t own the land? Did he ask if he could do it? Get it on the market.

Wildefish · 05/11/2025 19:39

thetallfairy · 04/11/2025 16:44

Flip

He knew what he was at

Show quote history

Agree with above. If he has done things to the land at a cust it may not be so easy. I would get solicitor to send a letter to pay the rest or go to court.

Stargazingstargazer · 05/11/2025 20:14

Keep the cash for now as a carrot to get him to behave… ie get off the land, etc. Give it back only when you are sure he can’t undermine the integrity of the property/farm or the sale on the open market.

Original poster
thetallfairy · 05/11/2025 20:54

thank you all
very wise words

kicking my stupid self

he knew what he was doing ffs

OP posts:
MellersSmellers · 05/11/2025 22:43

Well he's been as stupid as you OP, to think he now owns the land when there has been no legal process to register the sale and transfer ownership - or has there?
I also don't understand why you've left it so long to chase this up OP.

Get a solicitor to write to him to say that unless he pays the balance of the sum originally agreed, and by a particular date, the sale is off.

I don't see why your family are worried about upsetting him if you give him every chance to just pay what you originally said.

WingingItSince1973 · 05/11/2025 23:00

Please update us on the cows? Are they being looked after?

BeMintSwan · 05/11/2025 23:10

He is being very greedy and underhand so don't feel guilty. He didn't want agents involved as they would have pointed out that he was taking you for a mug. What an arse!

sharkstale · 05/11/2025 23:24

Give him the money back and sell the land to someone else for what it's actually worth.

HanSmyth90 · 05/11/2025 23:36

Stop all contact with him and get a solicitor ASAP. You done something nice and his not thankful at all ! You owe him nothing !!! And do not let on that you do not know what to do with the land anymore ...

Firethehorse · 06/11/2025 07:21

Firstly stop kicking yourself OP. Yes you have not handled this perfectly but the main points are that you did involve a solicitor and they still hold the deeds. Your cousin dropped off a load of money but really so what. You have to be absolutely clear that no verbal agreement was ever made for this money to cover the cost of the land - and it wasn’t so you can be honest and clear.
Your parents would be horrified to think how your cousin has attempted to screw you over. For this reason I would get clarification from said solicitor as to whether you even have to pay back for the hedge work. Maybe that money was rental? Who can say with no written or verbal agreement. Make sure your legal representation specialises or is very skilled in land matters. Cousin can scream and shout but he tried to screw you royally so you simply don’t engage except legally.

Hopingtobeaparent · 06/11/2025 13:23

Firethehorse · 06/11/2025 07:21

Firstly stop kicking yourself OP. Yes you have not handled this perfectly but the main points are that you did involve a solicitor and they still hold the deeds. Your cousin dropped off a load of money but really so what. You have to be absolutely clear that no verbal agreement was ever made for this money to cover the cost of the land - and it wasn’t so you can be honest and clear.
Your parents would be horrified to think how your cousin has attempted to screw you over. For this reason I would get clarification from said solicitor as to whether you even have to pay back for the hedge work. Maybe that money was rental? Who can say with no written or verbal agreement. Make sure your legal representation specialises or is very skilled in land matters. Cousin can scream and shout but he tried to screw you royally so you simply don’t engage except legally.

@thetallfairy This.

What matters are your steps now. Glad you’re not letting him walk all over you!! Family can be the worst!

Sorry for your loss. You don’t have to rush into anything with the land for afterwards.

Please do update us, we’d love to hear!

Good luck!

Original poster
thetallfairy · 06/11/2025 15:16

Super wise people on here

He was given some of the calves from the cows when my father passed

So maybe this is how he thought ahhhh soft bunch ok lets goo

Thank you all

I don't mind been called an idiot
It's true

I could never try to cheat someone in such a way

Will keep you updated

(Plus forgot to say waited this long because I thought he would pay the rest )

OP posts:
finallyicandomyhistory · 06/11/2025 19:12

A good deed never goes unpunished, OP. You’re obviously a decent, kind person so don’t be too hard on yourself. Really hope you get this resolved without him being too much (more) of an arse.

HonoriaBulstrode · 06/11/2025 23:22

For this reason I would get clarification from said solicitor as to whether you even have to pay back for the hedge work.

Why should op have to pay for the hedge work? She didn't ask him to do it, and depending on what has been done it might have impacted the value of the land.

T1Dmama · 07/11/2025 00:13

MyAcornWood · 04/11/2025 16:39

Also! Who cares if there’s a fall out? He’s making an absolute mockery of you , why would you want someone like that in your life?

This! Get legal advice and don’t worry about upsetting this cheeky fucker!

Original poster
thetallfairy · 07/11/2025 10:24

finallyicandomyhistory · 06/11/2025 19:12

A good deed never goes unpunished, OP. You’re obviously a decent, kind person so don’t be too hard on yourself. Really hope you get this resolved without him being too much (more) of an arse.

Well thank you

And thanks all of you

Waiting to hear back from solicitor to see him today

OP posts:
Original poster
thetallfairy · 07/11/2025 10:34

I would love to tell him what I really think of him

Thinks he is owed the land from us the cheeky fcker

Gosh if I only I stopped him ages ago in his tracks

I had no idea this fast one could ever even happen right before my eyes

Fcking sod

OP posts:
OhamIreally · 07/11/2025 10:57

Please let us know what the solicitor says today at your appointment.

alimac12 · 07/11/2025 11:32

And what are your sisters saying about it OP? Are they supporting you?

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