How do I not have the biggest ever fall out with my cousin

[thetallfairy]

Hello all

I'm in such a pickle

D dad passed away a few years ago

We inherited his 100 acre farm
Cows and lots of sheds

My two sisters and I are clueless
Never had money
We know nothing about what to do really

So I asked my cousin if he was interested in some land
This land is in a great area good quality
I got it valued
He offered half the price it was valued at
Didn't want a fight I said ok if that's all you have

He came to me a few months later with 1/3 of the price he offered
Paltry amount

This was 18 months ago
Since then he has been making changes to this area of land
It's obv not his
So I messaged him
Told him the final amount is now due

Nada

No word
No mention

Wtaf

So
I am trying to muster the courage to hand the money back and say we have now changed our minds

My sis thinks I'm over reacting

I think he's a cheeky so and so

But we all have n bloody clue

She thinks there will be a huge row now

Aghhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhh

Also, don't accept huge amounts of cash!! There's money laundering regulations to consider too....

Your solicitor can write him a letter requesting the removal of his stuff from the land pending the return of his “deposit”. As the land is shortly to go on the open market.

He can’t demand payment for his “work” as it’s not his land.

So so pleased and relieved you’ve got a solicitors appointment. He’ll get you sorted, or more importantly he’ll get your Cousin sorted!! Your cousin’s behaviour has been shady at best, unscrupulous at worst. No loss if he gets the hump. Dishonest sod.

He might ‘try’ all sorts of things, bottom line it wasn’t ever his land to do anything with.

Use this as a lesson OP. Not trying to be unkind, but being clueless is a choice. There is so much information available for free now ( internet, citizens advice for a start ) and you can’t afford not to be clued up where land, inheritance and money are concerned.

Surely you could just tell him to 'get orf moi land' & keep the random envelope of cash he absolutely didn't give you, good grief no, no idea what you're talking about, dear cos?'

I mean I'm not saying you should just he's arguably even more of an idiot than you are!

Effectively he gave you a deposit but now isn't able to pony up the rest, so you aren't going to proceed with the sale. There is no sale. Being an honest person, you are willing to return his deposit & draw a line if he withdraws from the land immediately & without argument.

If he wants to be a dick about it, you'll proceed against him for trespass & he can sue you for his money back, & no doubt a big chunk of it will indeed end up in the solicitor's pocket, in the form of both your legal fees.

I'm a solicitor. I cannot stress enough that you must not communicate with him in any way at all until you have had advice. Blank him totally, you've made enough mistakes as it is. Good luck

Return the money as he’s in breach of verbal contract and tell him to get off the land. Get solicitor to do this as what youve done to date is Barmy.

It may not make things worse, but it certainly isn't going to make them any better, less complicated or less contentious.

He's under no obligation to accept the money back. Ownership of the land may not have been signed over to him yet, but he may well be of the opinion that he has entered into a contract to buy the land from you, and if he wants to press the issue, it may come down to a judge to decide whether or not that's the case.

Call him cheeky all you want, but it's your irresponsibility that's caused this problem.

The concern with you giving the money back without legal advice, is if you somehow acknowledge you accepted money in payment/part payment/something he can argue is a lease/any sort of agreement at all, you might find yourself on the wrong side of a sale/agricultural tenancy/any number of contract law complications.

Do not do anything until you've had proper qualified advice at your appointment. Make sure you tell them every detail of what's happened and every written communication you've had - all texts, emails etc.

What about the poor cows, where are they and who is checking on them/ looking after them? That’s the priority.
Then sort the cows, land, cousin and cash through a solicitor, they will direct you to people who can help

This!!!
You have handled it so badly... It's like it's a tenner you had spare.
All communication through a solicitor.
He would say to keep agents etc out of it but you didn't have to say yes.

With contracts for the sale of land or property the paperwork has to carried out properly. It’s not like in other contracts where there is grey area ie you too the money and acted like you agreed etc. if nothing has been signed over to him, it’s not his.

Perhaps keep the cash anyway…….what cash???

You sound really really naive and quite immature. You really need to seek legal advice before you say or do anything else.

He's walking all over you and basically stealing this land right from under you.

Have the fight! I would.

Get a lawyer.

He's taking advantage of you. How have you not fallen out with him already?

And that’s fine if he wants to proceed at market value and pay the balance. The contract such as it is can be completed.

But if he can’t pay or won’t pay the balance, he hasn’t fulfilled his side of the contract.

Sorry but you get no sympathy from me. You don't have to be rich and come from money to understand you don't fucking do this! Google is free, you've purposefully ignored common sense and you've now got yourself in a heap of shit.

Your cousin is taking the piss and relying on you to "be nice".

That land is worth way more than your shitty cousin.

Tell him to pay up or bugger off.

You’re going to have to fall out with your cousin. And stop being so ridiculously naive!

Is the land in Ireland?

If it’s not been registered as his at the land registry- it’s not his yet! Get a solicitor!!!

In a big property or business transaction there is absolutely no flag bigger or redder than "keep the lawyers out of it" or "we don't need a valuation" or my personal favourite, "we can trust each other so we don't need to pay anyone to draw up a written contract".

Good luck with sorting it out, OP. FWIW I think it would have led to a massive row whether you'd said yes or no to selling it to him, so you've lost nothing by backing yourself.

Phew wondered when I solicitor would be along to point out the obvious (well I guess its not obvious to lay people).

It's a great rule we have to stop eejits like the OP falling prey to grifters like her cousin ....

So he has just come to me with cash and I assumed the rest would follow

He now thinks he owns this land

And...I'm out.