Building it around endless adjustments and allowances also has consequences.
The first wave of children who have had endless allowances made for their needs in school and college and university are beginning to hit the work market and it's been eye opening.
I'm in the legal profession, and Ive given mentoring to youngsters who want to become lawyers.
I did a careers fair once, and I had a young student telling me that she wanted to be a barrister, but her anxiety and autism meant she could never look anyone in the eye. She finds it too intense. She didn't look me in the eye once.
She was incensed to be told that this might not be the best career choice
That you could not go through the legal profession never looking anyone in the eye, including your client, your instructing solicitor the judge or the person you are cross examining.
I asked if she'd sought help for her anxiety and autism and she expected allowances to be made for her needs in the profession instead. She was indignant that she could be a great barrister without the ability to look anybody in the eye or at their face because of her social anxiety and neurodiversity.
I came across a 22 year-old trainee last year who couldnt speak on the phone in anyone else's presence and demanded a private room every time otherwise he would be unable to talk on the phone. At the suggestion that it wasn't going to work because you can't always guarantee when clients are going to call you. People can call you randomly without an appointment and so can defendant solicitors, etc. You won't always be able to dart to a private room.As they won't always be available. He instead began to raise that we weren't supporting his anxiety and neurodiversity and began quoting statutes at us and that we were breaching, equality rules relating to his disability.
It was also part of his training that we hear how he is on the phone with clients. And other people, it's part of the assessment we need to know what he's saying and the advice he's giving.
I would try and focus it more on not making endless adjustments for them. Because when they get into the working world, this is what they re going to face.
Many neurodiverse people are extremely bright and have the capability to enter top professions, but allowances aren't going to be made for them in the working world.And they need to understand that.
This doesn't apply to the children with significant needs, of course.