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Original poster

Feeling such rage at DS7, please help

215 replies

DespairInDarkness · 21/10/2025 04:47

DS' sleep has been awful the last few weeks, waking me every couple of hours or so and it is at the point of feeling like absolute torture now.

Tonighe he woke me at 12 (barely half an hour after I'd fallen asleep), then again at 2 and kept us awake til 4. At that point I'd been on his bedroom floor for 2 hours so decided to go back to my bed. He came back through within 5 minutes and we had to start all over again.

At that point I'm ashamed
to admit I screamed/cried/begged at him to lay down and go to sleep. It took him 40 minutes, he's now asleep and i'm too scared to move, but aching so much lying on the floor. As I was dozing on and off earlier, I had visions of gettiing in the car and speeding up and crashing so I could sleep.

I just want him to not need me, to leave me alone at night, I want personal space, I want to sleep.

I don't need tips on how to help his sleep I don't think as we have tried it all at this point but I need advice on staying sane and not turning into an awful mother.

I've had 2 hours sleep and need to be up for work in an hour, the only thing stopping me from bursting into tears is the fear of waking him

OP posts:
DayOfSummer · 21/10/2025 04:55

I’m so sorry I don’t have great advice but I gave up on this a few years ago and just sleep in the same bed as my nearly 9 year old otherwise my nights would be like this. I know it’s not great but my sleep and sanity are very important to me.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 21/10/2025 04:59

Same bed for a while. Less device time.

DayOfSummer · 21/10/2025 05:02

If it’s just in the last few weeks then can you have a think about what might have changed that’s making him feel insecure? Hopefully for you this is just a blip you can get to the bottom of.

Interested in this thread?

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7 year olds Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
WallTree · 21/10/2025 05:05

Put him in with you in your bed, surely, and both go to sleep. Why are you lying on the floor?!

Peridot1 · 21/10/2025 05:09

How long has he been like this?

I know you want him to not need you etc but he does. My DS slept with me until he was about 9. It wasn’t ideal but it was more important that we both got sleep. He grew out of it.

Some children just need someone there. Mine couldn’t get that it was ok for DH and I to sleep together but he had to sleep on his own when he didn’t like it.

LindorDoubleChoc · 21/10/2025 05:10

I let my little boy sleep in my bed with me when he went through a phase of this. It didn't last long, a few months maybe.

AutumnCosy2025 · 21/10/2025 05:13

Go to bed. Get as much sleep as you can niw. Can you call in sick?

you say 'we' do us his Dad there too? If he us DS us in bed with him tomorrow night ! You are in DA's bed. NOT to be disturbed, then alternate nights. UNLESS DS actually sleeps well with kne if you. Then that person does must nights.

if doesn't matter how old he is ALL that natters us getting SLEEP.

i am STILL awake, I don't know if it's the medication im on, or the insomnia I've always had, but it's bad at the moment. My body is too sore to be in bed with an adukt, but I'm
temoted to borrow a toddler in a sleep bag! 😂.

or a friends dog...

im sure your DS isn't doing it fir shits & giggles.

marigoldsareblooming · 21/10/2025 05:18

Yeah, we did the lying on the floor thing holding hands through the cot , until I went stuff this he can just come to bed with us. As he got bigger sometimes DH would end up in the , by then, toddler bed, but we upgraded to a KS and everyone is happy. This lasted until he was 9yo. I have no problem with it and neither does he; in fact I think he can barely remember now as a teen .

autienotnaughty · 21/10/2025 07:58

Either get in his bed or he get in yours. You can’t function like this.

Anditstartedagain · 21/10/2025 08:02

I have children who don’t sleep so I feel you pain. But going to bed at 11.30 when you knew you were likely to be woken during the night wasn’t a sensible decision. You need to make your nights comfortable, let him sleep in your bed or get yourself a camp or get a small double bed for his room and join him.

TalulahJP · 21/10/2025 08:04

If you don’t want to start him coming into your bed, lots of families do the temporary mattress on their bedroom floor (mine was doubled over duvet in a duvet cover for a mattress, with another one on top as the blanket, easy to fold up and put away during the day) on the parents bedroom floor that he can come through to sleep on during the night PROVIDING he doesn’t wake you.

Cinaferna · 21/10/2025 08:05

It's torture, I agree. DS was like this for years. Let him sleep with you. We got a bigger bed.

CinnamonCrunch33 · 21/10/2025 08:06

He’s 7. He’s at the age now where you explain to him firmly that it’s time to go to sleep, he does so in his own bed and he is only to come and wake you up if he is poorly/there is an emergency. If he comes into your room you listen to why and then return him to his bed. No more lying on his floor, he’s old enough to get himself to sleep without that.

GrumpySparkler · 21/10/2025 08:09

You say this is over the past couple of weeks, so is this a new thing? What was his sleep like before? Has something happened to trigger this? Has he been or could he be unwell?
I have a 7 year old and if he suddenly started doing this I would definitely be wondering what was going on to be causing this.

Original poster
DespairInDarkness · 21/10/2025 08:33

It actually started around Age 5, he slept perfectly before that, fell asleep independently and slept through the night since he was 3 months old.

But since age 5 he has been coming in. We've had one other bad bout like this which lasted over 6 months then overnight he started sleeping through again with no issues.

Then about 2 months ago it started again. At first he could get back to sleep with a quick cuddle and now nothing works and we are up for hours on end.

Unfortunately I was working until 11pm so couldn't go to sleep earlier.

I really want to avoid co-sleeping as I dont get much sleep with him in the bed either. Also when we've let him join us before, his little brother found him one morning and declared he was going to sleep with us too (he currently sleeps through in his room, so I put a stop to it all and put everyone back in their rooms.).

It has helped me feel a lot better to hear your children have done similar and just grown out of it though. I think I partly feel triggered that something is "wrong" with him and I can't fix it. All of my family and friends have kids that sleep peacefullly and tell me I just need to be firmer. Like I haven't tried.

OP posts:
DublinLaLaLa · 21/10/2025 08:36

Bunk beds. He gets the top and a parent gets the bottom!

TheatricalLife · 21/10/2025 09:04

If you don't want to share a bed, can you get a pop up (for you or him in either bedroom). I know it's not ideal, but I'd say the essential thing for now is to actually get a solid sleep in. Pick your battles and all that.

QuickPeachPoet · 21/10/2025 09:07

CinnamonCrunch33 · 21/10/2025 08:06

He’s 7. He’s at the age now where you explain to him firmly that it’s time to go to sleep, he does so in his own bed and he is only to come and wake you up if he is poorly/there is an emergency. If he comes into your room you listen to why and then return him to his bed. No more lying on his floor, he’s old enough to get himself to sleep without that.

This. It's time to grow up and cut the apron strings big time. Everyone needs to rest.

DysmalRadius · 21/10/2025 09:16

What does he want in the night? Comfort? To play? To go downstairs and watch TV?

My oldest kids were awful sleepers but they just wanted comfort so they each had a double bed in their room so that one of us could get in with them and maximise sleep without having them in our bed and opening that can of worms!

My youngest is a much better sleeper but sometimes has nightmares and wants to get 'up' to shake them. If she's really inconsolable (and in danger of waking the house) we have occasionally snuck down and watched calm TV with the sound super low so I can sleep on the sofa until she drops off (a comfy sofa does help!) which again isnt ideal, but does yield the most sleep for the most people.

ConflictofInterest · 21/10/2025 09:20

I was advised by a nurse in a friend capacity not medically, that perhaps DC has a "seasonal allergy/dust allergy" keeping them awake that a child 's dose of piriton could ease...i.e a sleep causing but safe anti-histamine could be worth a try occasionally to break the cycle. I take drowsy antihistamines occasionally myself when I can't sleep. As an insomniac I find they can break the pattern of waking up for a while. My DD8 still comes in to our bed in the night some time in the early hours, you're very much not alone with that although I don't mind it myself. I find when I've taken an antihistamine myself I sleep more deeply and barely wake when she comes in.

mumonthehill · 21/10/2025 09:24

I think you need to talk to him and see why he feels he needs you and also explain that you need sleep too. Could he have a story he could play if he wakes or a new cuddly toy that helps him feel safe. He needs that know that it is ok to wake but not ok to wake you. Ds was a terrible sleeper and we often shared with him but we could and it worked ok but if you feel this is not right for you then you are going through have to understand why he needs you with him.

Springtimehere · 21/10/2025 09:25

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oustedbymymate · 21/10/2025 09:29

If you don’t want to bed share can you fit a mattress or fold out bed or something in his room? You can’t function like this as you know. Sending lots of sympathy. Sleep deprivation is a torture device for a reason and horrendous

CatChant · 21/10/2025 09:29

Co-sleep. If your bed is too small get a bigger one or put mattresses in the floor. Whatever the reason, at the moment he needs to be with you and you need sleep to function.
He will grow out of co-sleeping naturally.

SJM1988 · 21/10/2025 09:36

I've always had terrible sleepers from babies so tried alot over the years.
DS is now 8 and in Year 3 and we finally seem to be having regular sleeping through. Its been a hard 7 years.

My only advice is ignore family and friends that don't have children with sleeping issues. Don't compare yourself to them. I felt 100% better about it all when I stopped caring with family and friends thought/said and ignore they had children that just slept from what felt like birth.
Some children have low sleep needs so don't sleep as much as others at certain ages. Some children have other issues that stop them sleeping - anxiety or medical issues.

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