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Very uncomfortable with something that happened at a party

349 replies

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 09:27

At a big black tie party. Fancy expensive hotel. Men all in dj’s, women all dressed up.

sitting at a table with some relatives including grown up dd

a man come up, pushes a ballon into my boobs I try and push him away and he pops it thus copping two handfuls. I’m gobsmacked

he comes in to do it again, I’m pushing him away shouting no. My daughter is up shouting no. He does it again. I go up to him and say there people here are allergic to latex, you are literally risking lives. He laughs and tells me to f off

dh his highly allergic to latex and he’s pushing balloons into faces and boobs

dd looks at me, says are you ok. I realise I’m nearly vomiting and run to the toilets

peopke at the table go and have words with him

dh threatens to go speak to him but I talk him down as I I could see she was beyond anger and I didn’t want him doing anything rash

i can’t see him anymore

i I rejoin table and enjoy chatting

out the blue, there’s a balloon in my face - it’s him again. I’m now so distressed I leave the party and go to my room

hubby is now apoplectic- he knows I have never ever reacted to something like this - I laugh stuff off - redirect wandering hands, deal with stuff without getting hysterical or upset. In 30 years, he’s never seen me like this and keeps saying this is assault, we should call the police - he grabbed your boobs despite you saying no

im told he’s left the party so go back down (I’m not drinking btw)

all good, go to loo and he appears in the foyer

i freeze and run back up to the room and refuse to come back down

ive refused to go to down to breakfast

not sure how I should of handled it - last night I was so distressed I just ran

OP posts:
ThisTaupeZebra · 19/10/2025 20:31

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ThisTaupeZebra · 19/10/2025 20:32

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Worralorra · 19/10/2025 20:34

MarthaBeach · 19/10/2025 20:28

It's easy to say this after reading the OP, but when you're at a social event with friends and family, and something happens out of nowhere, it takes quite a while to flip out of 'nice - sociable - pleasant' mode and into 'fuck you' mode. We're so conditioned to be polite. So please don't make the OP feel bad.

Thank you for describing my exact situation so well. I’m not sure that the others realised what had happened, so I was trying to not go feral in case they felt shown up…

Bambamhoohoo · 19/10/2025 20:35

Also I’m sorry but I do have to point out sexually assaulting a woman with a latex allergy or one who has had a mastectomy is not any “worse” than sexually assaulting a woman without those things 😳

ThisTaupeZebra · 19/10/2025 20:37

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ThisTaupeZebra · 19/10/2025 20:39

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Strongstuff · 19/10/2025 20:40

Good for you (and your Dh) OP.

Channel your inner Giselle and let the shame and uncomfortableness sit where it should. Wishing you every strength with these next steps 💪Flowers

ThisTaupeZebra · 19/10/2025 20:41

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ThisTaupeZebra · 19/10/2025 20:47

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DrowningInSyrup · 19/10/2025 20:55

Actually I do, and really there is no need for that at all, so calm down and keep your verbal aggression to yourself.

FastingHell · 19/10/2025 20:57

Whatsthatsheila · 19/10/2025 10:43

That’s vile. It’s totally unacceptable and as others have said you have been a victim of SA whether you realised it at the time or not.

  1. go back to hotel now and speak to the hotel tell them what happened ask if they have the incident on CCTV. If they do please ask them to retain in case police request it

  2. make a police report. The dude could have prior or been accused before and unable to take further and perhaps this time with witnesses cctv if available etc. even if your complaint doesn’t lead to a specific charge or anything it allows them to build a picture.

This is a good point (2).

So sorry OP.

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 20:57

Worralorra · 19/10/2025 20:28

I’m stewing on something similar right now…

Out for lunch with some gf’s, friend sitting next to me stood up to leave, and man passing her going back to his seat accidentally brushed her bum. She reacted, but laughed it off as an accident, he then decided to also grope mine as he passed me, laughing as he did so and announcing that he “may as well touch 2 bums while he’s at it!”

I wasn’t impressed but had no idea what to do.

Now I feel violated. So sorry you had this repetitively - your experience was worse than mine, for sure. However, I’m really pissed off about it now - what can be done in these cases? Thinking of wearing a few heavy rings when I go out again so I can punch the next asshole that does anything similar and leave marks!

I’m so very sorry. That’s horrible

OP posts:
DrowningInSyrup · 19/10/2025 20:58

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Actually I do, and really there is no need for that at all, so calm down and keep your verbal aggression to yourself.

Edit: You seem to be spiralling as you have said this to a number of us. You have assumed a lot about people you have no idea of.

sugarapplelane · 19/10/2025 21:01

DrowningInSyrup · 19/10/2025 20:58

Actually I do, and really there is no need for that at all, so calm down and keep your verbal aggression to yourself.

Edit: You seem to be spiralling as you have said this to a number of us. You have assumed a lot about people you have no idea of.

I don’t understand why that poster is getting all aggressive with you. Spoiling the thread a bit.
Cone on people - we are all “with” the op here. There’s no need to gang up on each other for what we may or may not have done.

Tapsthemic · 19/10/2025 21:02

I’m so sorry this happened to you OP. As PP have said, you did not overreact at all!

I had a situation where I was groped on the tube, but when I turned around it was a little elderly gentleman. I was convinced I’d got it wrong and I moved down the train carriage. I turned back to just double check and saw the face of another woman standing in front of him, clearly feeling very uncomfortable. I immediately called him out, and had no problem advocating for someone else. When it happened to me, I told myself “no it didn’t”. We’re always told as kids to not make a fuss and I think it can hardwire our brains accordingly 🫠

sugarapplelane · 19/10/2025 21:03

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Why are you behaving like that?
I assume we’re all grown women who are enraged at this awful specimen of a human degrading Op like that.
So instead of being nasty at other posters, let’s all band together to offer advice and support to Op.
Leave your aggression at home please.

DrowningInSyrup · 19/10/2025 21:07

sugarapplelane · 19/10/2025 21:01

I don’t understand why that poster is getting all aggressive with you. Spoiling the thread a bit.
Cone on people - we are all “with” the op here. There’s no need to gang up on each other for what we may or may not have done.

It's derailed the post a bit. But if I wasn't clear from the off, it was an awful thing that happened to the OP and it must have been frightening and embarrassing. Nobody deserves that, I am just glad her husband is so supportive.

tommyhoundmum · 19/10/2025 21:15

In the past I have slapped a face for this sort of behaviour.

Once when a man at work patted my bottom in a patronising way and asked if I was alright I patted him back on his and said I'm fine thank you Benjie. He was confused but others laughed.

Dragonasaurus · 19/10/2025 21:18

Thankyou OP for deciding to report this. It’s not the easy thing to do 💐💐💐

Nifty50something · 19/10/2025 21:25

Can those who are responding with things like "oh I'd have glassed him, I've decked men for doing this" etc please take a moment for self-reflection? Because you're subtly implying that women who didn't fight back aren't good victims, aren't strong, and didn't respond in the right way. It's cruel and unhelpful. Why are you centering yourselves in your replies anyway - surely we should all be here to support others not boast about our own (usually purely imaginary) responses?

Bravemama · 19/10/2025 21:25

You are absolutely right to trust your gut insticts and there is NOTHING about this that is an overreaction. You have been sexually assaulted and thats why you are feeling and thinking the way you are, you body and your brain are telling you the truth of what has happened.

I would report him straight away, there is no guilt and shame when you are acting and speaking up for the protection of other woman he may come near.

ThisTaupeZebra · 19/10/2025 21:29

Nifty50something · 19/10/2025 21:25

Can those who are responding with things like "oh I'd have glassed him, I've decked men for doing this" etc please take a moment for self-reflection? Because you're subtly implying that women who didn't fight back aren't good victims, aren't strong, and didn't respond in the right way. It's cruel and unhelpful. Why are you centering yourselves in your replies anyway - surely we should all be here to support others not boast about our own (usually purely imaginary) responses?

Edited

Thank you. Don't know why my posts were deleted. Rape apologetic nonsense from some posters.

Dugongs · 19/10/2025 21:44

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 09:35

Still at hotel. Yes witnesses. Known guest - private party. Thank you. I feel guilty that I overreacted, ruining peoples nights. I feel violated

You are not over-reacting! Report him. If he is not stopped now when it was witnessed, what will he do to the next if no one is around!
Sometimes this type of thing builds confidence if they get away with it. If others say he assaulted you, get them to be witnesses. He had no right to touch you or your boobs .. and then to try to taunt with another balloon?! No. You are NOT being unreasonable and you have no need to feel guilty. He's assaulted and now has intimidated you!

EatAllDay · 19/10/2025 21:55

I’m delighted youre reporting this creep. No doubt this is not his first time. I am in the middle of a serious and prolonged sexual harassment and assault case. It is harrowing BUT I WILL NEVER REGRET REPORTING HIM. Good luck to you ; you are brave! Well done.

Biggles27 · 19/10/2025 21:58

It’s done

thank you for the support and thank you to the brave women who shared their experiences

I am humbled by the responses

ill let you know when I can what is said but as police are now involved, I cannot prejudice the investigation

OP posts: