The psychology behind peoples WhatsApp settings

[lovenotwar149]

SoI have WhatsApp and you can see my 'last seen' etc
I have a few contacts that have hidden this so when I msg them I cannot see when they were last online nor do the ticks go blue when they have read my message. The only time I see 'online' with these contacts is if they reply to my message and start typing when I am messaging them.

Why do you think ppl have their 'last seen' hidden? I find it suspicious tbh

I have my blue ticks disabled as I have a friend who monitors if I've read her messages and gets shitty if she sees I have and haven't yet replied. It's pressure I dont need so I've disabled mine.

Agree. Off you go and stop snooping on your mums MN.

How odd to be obsessed with what other people choose to do and when they are online.

You appear to be paranoid, interpreting other people's right to privacy as secrecy directed at you. You also appear to have low self worth, assuming rejection and unworthiness in an entirely neutral tech choice. And you may have anxious attachement as you obsess over online status and messages for validation.

You sound very insecure and as though you ruminate on unimportant issues and other people's perfectly normal choices, building them up in your head to be a personal affront.

You probably should see a therapist to discuss this.

Modern technology and the constant ability to be connected to each other and see into each others lives has in some ways been useful, but in any ways it has trashed people’s mental health. Boundaries are healthy. Privacy is healthy.

I am prone to anxiety at times, and I found being able to see other people’s last seen triggered this for me. It encouraged me to check it, and if they had been online but not responded, my brain defaults to oh they don’t care enough to reply, why are they ignoring me. This is horribly unhealthy as rationally I know that’s not true. Turned mine off a couple of years ago and its helped massively. Ignorance really is bliss.

😂

I would frame this as a desire for privacy, not secrecy. What makes you think you have the right to see when someone sees your message and when they choose to reply to it. How does your desire to know when they received your message (or nosiness) trump their desire for privacy (or secrecy)?

If you have a really urgent need for immediate communication, then don't use text, call.

I don't get why you need to know when anyone has been online, the timings or the fact they've received your mail. But I grew up in a time when a phone was attached the wall or table and you sent letters and waited for a return letter in the post

That’s the thing, I genuinely don’t understand how knowing when someone was last on the app could enhance my life in any way. If anything, it would lead to feelings of upset or paranoia (oh, x has been online multiple times and hasn’t replied to my message, maybe they’re cross at me type thing) but I can’t see any positives to it at all.

I'd like to know the psychology of people who think they're entitled to know when people last used their phones.

I actually hid mine because I was constantly being bombarded by my employer/new replacement when I started my mat leave. I had spent about a month training them in at that stage. It was completely stressing me out. That was two years ago and I haven't turned it off yet!

I turned it off because it feels really invasive and pressurising to have read receipts and last online info broadcast. Can't see why anyone would be bothered to know anyway and why that would be in any way a red flag.

I hide my 'last seen' status on my work WhatsApp, so that clients can't see I have been online and think I am ignoring them while replying to others.

On my personal WhatsApp, people can see everything, and I find it weird/red flaggy if people don't.

Bit weird that you'd find it a red flag.

I don't like the fact that you are now expected to be contactable and interactive almost 24/7 and its exhausting. I don't turn it of myself because I don't care if people can see and don't have anyone with high expectations, but I understand why people do.

The only person I do pay attention to the last seen is my dad because he lives alone and I worry about him when he doesn't reply (though I shouldn't as he often just forgets to look).

I have my last hidden and online status off so I can reply when the hell I want.
I am not beholden to my phone or to reply instantly a message arrives.

I suggest you try it, it's very freeing.

Nothing suspicious about it!

I have it set as that because I use my phone for work and if I don’t respond to clients asap / when they want it can cause friction! Means I can check messages and info when I can even outside of business hours etc and respond when I can.

Yep me too. I don’t like the “nowness” of communication. I like to answer when I’ve got the time rather than when they send me the message. Sometimes I check just to see if it’s urgent or not but then if they know I’ve seen it and not replied they’ll feel offended or something.

I don’t necessarily think it’s suspicious (though it obviously could be, think cheating partner not wanting their excessive WhatsApp usage to be spotted by their other half etc) but generally I think it’s used by people who tend to be a bit ignorant. They want to be able to read a message and not respond, but be able to pretend they’ve not seen it.

I can’t think of many reasons or situations where I’d need to hide my WhatsApp presence from people who I’ve actively given my number to (else they’d not even have me on there!) and I find the read feature useful when messaging my partner, or mum or whatever so I know if they’ve got my message and read it.

Similarly if they’re trying to get a message to me, they can see if I’ve not read it yet. Then if getting urgent they can call me.

It's because people are entitled af and demand my time and attention when I am not in a position to give them

Your desperate need to know what people are doing at all times, is the red flag for me

Why do you care OP? I’m genuinely interested.

I’ve turned my ‘last seen’ off as I don’t always respond to messages straight way and I may need time to think about logistics/ considered response and I don’t want anyone thinking I’m being rude by not responding immediately.

In my opinion people likely do it for various reasons, they may have too many people to care about, want to avoid messages from certain individuals, or feel insecure and self conscious.

Whereas I judge people who need to see whether others are currently online and police other people's lives. Are you always so nosey @lovenotwar149 ?

I'm not glued to my phone and often don't respond immediately.

Mind your own business and get a life.

Because I can’t face people who get annoyed if I don’t reply straight away. I don’t want people to know when I’ve seen something. Just the same as when I used to be on Facebook years ago and I could my go online without someone saying ooooh I see you online let me talk at you.

I have it hidden because I wfh and don’t want boss or colleagues to see when I’m last on there

erm because I don't like people seeing I read the message and did not reply? Or that I have been online and did not message?

And why is it a read flag? Just a normal desire to have privacy.

It’s news to me that people are that invested. I’ve never looked to see if anyone’s online or when they were last, nor if they’ve read a message and I certainly don’t care if I don’t get a prompt response. If it was urgent, I’d call them.