The psychology behind peoples WhatsApp settings

[lovenotwar149]

SoI have WhatsApp and you can see my 'last seen' etc
I have a few contacts that have hidden this so when I msg them I cannot see when they were last online nor do the ticks go blue when they have read my message. The only time I see 'online' with these contacts is if they reply to my message and start typing when I am messaging them.

Why do you think ppl have their 'last seen' hidden? I find it suspicious tbh

I hide as much as I can because when I was last seen online or whether I have seen a message is no one's business. The fact that someone would care about that would be a red flag for me.

Haven’t you got “secrecy” and “privacy” mixed up @lovenotwar149? I have all of those things turned off because I want to decide when I respond and I don’t see why anyone needs to have information about my activity. Sometimes I long for the days when there was one landline in the hall and life was offline! You’d phone a friend and they didn’t pick up or you had to leave a message - no blue ticks so no paranoia about being ignored or suspicious assumptions about motives - there was a kind of freedom to it that I miss.

The ability to track others’ activity feels like progress and of course in many ways it is but the ability to track, monitor, check up on people isn’t doing us much good. Why do you need to know?

Presumably the OP doesn't have curtains.

Eh?
Anyone who’s obsessed with “last seen” is a red flag and stalker-ish.

I turned it off when I was dating a guy many years ago who left me feeling quite insecure and I found myself checking his 'last online' and then wondering why he wasn't responding to me. It just didn't feel healthy so I switched it off so I couldn't see which has the side effect that people can't see mine either. Ditched the guy, never turned it back on again.

same

People hide their status because there are lunatics in this world that cannot comprehend that somebody might not reply to a message for a couple of days.

Refer to the "Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me" thread for further evidence.

Depressing to think that some people these days can't make the distinction between 'secrecy' and privacy.

We are expected to be at the beck and call of others online 24/7 these days. It's reasonable to say no to this and carve out some boundaries. The concept of a person having their own time has been eroded quite far enough already by online stuff without it having to be eroded even further by a torrent of 'u ok?' 'call me' 'did u see my msg?' '???' 'ur up v late' 'wot u up 2' and the like.

The only person on here that seems to have 'got me' to some degree!! Nice to meet you:)

Will leave you all with a joke.....

My boyfriend thinks I'm a bit of a stalker.....
Well he's not my boyfriend YET!!

Thanks again ppl for replies :)

OP is apparently a mature woman in her mid 50’s...

I just can't get my head around why you would care so much, do you have nothing better to do in your life than hover over your phone? I have started being much more disciplined with mine, only check it every few hours and leave it in another room unless it is a day when I am expecting calls or need to use to make arrangements. I accept that the people i inteact with have busy lives and will get back to me when they can, the same applies to me. The older I get the more I am convinced that online life is ruining us, I had the most insane interaction with EE the other day as I left them to go to a new provider. Our local authority now has a bot answering calls and after 20 minutes of trying to find out an answer to my query I gave up.

I have hidden this and my online status because I don’t want to see other peoples and by hiding mine, it stops me from being able to see others.

It isn’t a red flag and I don’t know why people think it is?

Boyfriend? Do you have a husband AND a boyfriend??

I have blue ticks on but I aspire to be as cool as the blue ticks off people. That sounds sarcastic but it’s not.

The only person on here that seems to have 'got me' to some degree!! Nice to meet you:)

So the other person on the street without curtains.

For the love of God at least turn your lights out in the evening. Children may be walking past.

I hid mine when part of a work WhatsApp. Manager would message during evenings and weekends, and would expect an almost immediate response if she knew we had seen the messages. Need to have some downtime in my life!

Just switch them off! What’s the worst that can happen? Mine have been off as long as I can remember and it hasn’t negatively affected my life in any way.

I dont want to feel pressure to reply right away or engage in a text exchange just because others can see I'm online. Doesn’t mean I'm available.

This ⬆️

Because people use it to police when you respond to a message. It’s the slow creep of the constant surveillance. So what of I’ve seen your message I’m not ready to respond.

and then the spiralling of why you haven’t responded or the snarky messages saying they’ve seen you’ve read it. Are you the police? A bank? Why do you need to know when other people are online ? Send a message, they get back when they get back. If you want an immediate response, call them.

Privacy isn’t bad. You are just nosy and bored

In general I try to minimise my public digital footprint, so don't display last seen, blue ticks etc. Nothing suspicious, I just don't like feeling constantly watched.

I assume they have people in their lives who demand instant responses and they are pig sick of it.

This.

Privacy isn’t bad.

Nothing to hide, nothing to fear.

🙄