My boy is off to University and it's breaking my heart.

[Slinky987]

Our family is dissolving.

It's killing me.

And I have given him nothing but excitement about university. I'm excited for him!

But my heart is breaking.

Obviously.

It all went so fast.

Why have you written in the past tense about being his mother? You’re still his mum! A little dramatic don’t you think? 🤣

I didn't think I'd feel like this.

I'm generally a pragmatist.

I didn't expect this wave of sorrow.

It's blindsided me.

I felt like I had ruined my mum’s life when I went to university. She was bereft. I had to ring every single day for like 20-30 minute calls and it was more for her benefit than mine. I’m sure you’re not being like that OP but bloody hell it was awful (for me) at the time.

Because he's off and I know that adult men aren't sentimental about their childhoods.

I'm not sentimental generally. I've been hit by a wave of uncharacteristic emotion.

You need therapy. It's called empty nest crisis. But please don't make him feel responsible for your happiness. You say you don't but your desparation sips through in the letter you wrote him. It's not fair on him so please get some help.

My eldest is 12 so have this to come. It must be very bittersweet, and the end of a life stage in many ways but remember a lot of university students come back home after university for a few years. Everything is so expensive now!

Is the university very far away? It's good to be able to acknowledge your feelings here and to be supportive and excited with him.Young adults and space to grow with the knowledge that their parent s are still there if needed. In my fourth year at university (wouldn't have done this before) my mum came to stay with me at the beginning of the year for about five days! She was unsure but we had the best time and my housemates all liked her a lot. We didn't go to nightclubs together but to a few bars and walks and a few cultural things like exhibitions and museums. Treat this like a new adventure. She also stayed with me for a week during my time abroad. It developed our relationship in a positive way. But she gave me space too. Your card and poetry books to your son are lovely. You have to trust you have helped prepare him for this in the best way you could.

'There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind'. It's helpful to have that attitude! But cry as well first as you have to let it out. Maybe not too much in front of DS....

I'm not going to.

I know what's going on.

I have a good relationship with all my family, I know how things work.

I just need to wallow here for a bit.

I don't have desperation!

Honestly, this place!!

I don't need help.

I'm just a bit sad.

Perfectly normal. Wallow away on here, OP. Can't believe some of the responses you've had. The message in the book was perfectly nice - you clearly don't need therapy!

Thanks!

I don't think I do!!

It’s heart wrenching and it does represent the end of an era. I remember the pain. It does pass very quickly. Have a really good cry and let it out!!! I find that mourning a loss at the time helps me move on to the next stage more fully.

This is way over the top. My daughter has left for university too. I’m happy and excited for her.
However I’ve read posts on here about mothers crying when their children start school, etc. I have never been able to relate!

I didn't cry when they started school, nursery, nothing.

This?

So sad!

Och, a part of me does get it. It’s different this time because chances are, they will never live with us full-time again.
I was a bit sad but nothing like you are feeling. I think menopausal me is ready to get her life back! 😂

Hey you are nervous because you're all entering a new phase.
Everything will be fine, you just need to reinvent yourself.
Come on you want him to develop and spread his wings.Think about some of the posts on here where the children are too depressed, or sufferin g so much from other problems they can't move on in their lives.

Be brave, the next phase of both your lives awaits you.

The book is a great idea but I think the message is a bit OTT, can you tone it down a bit? Less gush. Be careful of not trying to insert yourself into his experience.

I am so bloody excited for him. I remember how exciting it was.

It's such a good time of his life.

I'm heartbroken though because life is changing. My best friend died this year. We relocated to be near my parents.

It feels like the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one. And I have set him free with no emotional weirdness.

It's just change. And life goes by so bloody fast (to quote Buller, ': Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.').

This. We are currently packing up the car. Next time we see DD will be Christmas.

I see it as: she is ready and as confident as possible so I must have done a decent job as a parent.

I don't loose her, our family is not dissolving.

I asked her to check in once in a while and to react to our texts in a fairly decent manner, not leaving a question unanswered for days.
I am not checking where she is or when she is back in her halls, we have an app but we don't use it.

Awww :((

It’s hard but it’s great that he is going to uni and he will have a blast. My son just graduated and has just completed his first week of work! He’s all grown up now and whilst it’s sad in some ways, it’s also great that he’s done so well and has a bright future ahead. My youngest goes in 1yr and I am already worried about how she will cope, for many reasons. If you’ve got a young person who is confident and will fly, celebrate that. The holidays are so long too, before you know it he will have a month off for Christmas.

He will fly.

He is flying.

Get a grip OP. Kids grow up and make their own way in life. He is going to Uni, it’s not the end of the world. 🙄

No shit??