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My boy is off to University and it's breaking my heart.

342 replies

Slinky987 · 20/09/2025 02:31

Our family is dissolving.

It's killing me.

OP posts:
Slinky987 · 22/09/2025 03:07

I gave him a big hug and a firm handshake.

And a 'piss off you bugger'.

And my tears of the maternity room are entirely mine.

And my husband's.

We remember that newborn & all of the growing up.

Hey, whatcha gonna do?

Thanks for all the understanding posts.

And the spiky ones? Pft. That's your business.

OP posts:
Slinky987 · 22/09/2025 04:00

And I went to the pub with my husband today and we sat next to a crying woman of about my age with her daughter, I asked 'Uni drop-off?'

And yes, it turned out it was.

But from Australia.

She's here for a week dropping her daughter off for a post-grad.

We're going for coffee tomorrow and I've invited her daughter over for a Sunday lunch in a couple of weeks.

We always had international academic diaspora at ours for Sunday lunch when I was a young'un.

Mebbe carrying on that tradition will ameliorate my sadness a little.

OP posts:
RosieMilkJug · 22/09/2025 07:58

*piss off you bugger”?

MyOtherProfile · 22/09/2025 09:53

RosieMilkJug · 22/09/2025 07:58

*piss off you bugger”?

Cool mum?

Cherrytree86 · 22/09/2025 10:13

MyOtherProfile · 22/09/2025 09:53

Cool mum?

More like posh mum

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/09/2025 10:14

Your family isn’t dissolving, it’s evolving just as it should.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 22/09/2025 10:20

Why on earth would you post your message to your son on a public forum? That seems so cheapening and unnecessary.

Autumn38 · 22/09/2025 10:21

Are you sure your message in the book isn’t a bit final? If my mum had written that I’d be wondering if she didn’t want to hear from me until Christmas!

Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 00:37

RosieMilkJug · 22/09/2025 07:58

*piss off you bugger”?

What you going to do?

Just bugger off darling.

I went to his room and got his lamby.

He left lamby. He had his lamby from birth.

It made me cry.

OP posts:
Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 00:38

I remember the birth room

This is hard.

OP posts:
Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 00:40

I'm not a cryer.

I crying

OP posts:
Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 00:42

I've never been so sad..

OP posts:
QuayshhLawrain · 25/09/2025 00:53

We dropped DD1 off at uni at the weekend. I've been dreading it for the last year. Every time I've thought about it over the last 12 months I've felt the tears prickling, and have had to give myself a stern talking to! However, both DD1 and I had a few tears when we hugged goodbye, but other than that, I've been fine - I don't think it's hit me yet. DH, on the other hand... We've been together for 25 years, and until Sunday, I had only seen him cry twice (once when DD1 was born, and once when I emerged from a coma, so both pretty dramatic moments!). Since Sunday, he has cried 6 times (that I know of!) about DD1 having "left home". He cried doing the washing up this evening, as there were 3 plates, rather than the usual 4.

I honestly thought I would be the one falling apart, but I think I've just got too much other stuff to think about (Dad with Alzheimer's, DD2 being super stressed with A Levels, DM to take for an op, and now DH to worry about!) but I fully expect it to hit me like a tonne of bricks one day soon. When it does, I shall be back to commiserate with you @Slinky987 (by which time, hopefully you'll be feeling much better!)

DD1 is having the time of her life, I'm getting a couple of texts each day, and we had a FaceTime last night, plus I'm following her adventures on Instagram. I do think it must be much easier for us parents these days with so much technology, compared to our parents generation. DH tells me he only phoned home "once every few weeks" and he only ever went home for Christmas, so I'm going to count myself lucky!

I hope you feel better soon @Slinky987, and if not, it's only 78 days till the Christmas break! 😭

Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 01:05

QuayshhLawrain · 25/09/2025 00:53

We dropped DD1 off at uni at the weekend. I've been dreading it for the last year. Every time I've thought about it over the last 12 months I've felt the tears prickling, and have had to give myself a stern talking to! However, both DD1 and I had a few tears when we hugged goodbye, but other than that, I've been fine - I don't think it's hit me yet. DH, on the other hand... We've been together for 25 years, and until Sunday, I had only seen him cry twice (once when DD1 was born, and once when I emerged from a coma, so both pretty dramatic moments!). Since Sunday, he has cried 6 times (that I know of!) about DD1 having "left home". He cried doing the washing up this evening, as there were 3 plates, rather than the usual 4.

I honestly thought I would be the one falling apart, but I think I've just got too much other stuff to think about (Dad with Alzheimer's, DD2 being super stressed with A Levels, DM to take for an op, and now DH to worry about!) but I fully expect it to hit me like a tonne of bricks one day soon. When it does, I shall be back to commiserate with you @Slinky987 (by which time, hopefully you'll be feeling much better!)

DD1 is having the time of her life, I'm getting a couple of texts each day, and we had a FaceTime last night, plus I'm following her adventures on Instagram. I do think it must be much easier for us parents these days with so much technology, compared to our parents generation. DH tells me he only phoned home "once every few weeks" and he only ever went home for Christmas, so I'm going to count myself lucky!

I hope you feel better soon @Slinky987, and if not, it's only 78 days till the Christmas break! 😭

I've looked up the holidays
.
@QuayshhLawrain

Believe.

OP posts:
Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 01:42

And yes @QuayshhLawrain we've been together for over 20 years.

And now...

OP posts:
Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 01:44

Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 01:42

And yes @QuayshhLawrain we've been together for over 20 years.

And now...

And yes, he's having the best time.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 25/09/2025 01:53

University terms are very short! Before you know what, he’ll be back with a mountain of washing, raiding the fridge and eating you out of house and home.

beachcitygirl · 25/09/2025 05:54

Do NOT be this mother.

Zippidydoodah · 25/09/2025 06:49

beachcitygirl · 25/09/2025 05:54

Do NOT be this mother.

Too late!

KimHwn · 25/09/2025 10:09

Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 00:40

I'm not a cryer.

I crying

Massive hugs to you. I worked very very hard when dropping DS off on Sunday, but we both shed a few tears and had a lovely, warm chat about the past and the future. I cried so so much on the way home. I've never cried like that in my life. I know it's ridiculous and an overreaction, but I needed to get it out, and no-one else knew.
I still feel weird (especially going to his room) and when I realise I've cooked too much for dinner, or when I think about how little washing there is to do now. But we have a family Whatsapp group, and have spoken a few times. It will get better OP, I promise. X

BunnyLake · 25/09/2025 11:23

Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 00:37

What you going to do?

Just bugger off darling.

I went to his room and got his lamby.

He left lamby. He had his lamby from birth.

It made me cry.

My eldest son has a soft toy that was the most important thing to him growing up. He didn’t take it to uni though, a step too far for him and no doubt worried about toy’s safety away from home. He lives with his gf now but funnily enough he texted me a few week’s ago asking me to send photos of his beloved toy so he could show his gf. I sent him several photos of said soft toy getting up to mischief around the house - which my son loved. This is a grown man in his 20s. I thought it was super sweet to want his gf to see his beloved childhood toy. He may be an adult but he’s still my baby 😊 as your son is to you.

BunnyLake · 25/09/2025 11:27

RampantIvy · 21/09/2025 14:49

That makes sense. DD did a STEM degree and didn't have a reading week.

My youngest is doing STEM and has reading weeks.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 25/09/2025 16:55

Slinky987 · 25/09/2025 00:37

What you going to do?

Just bugger off darling.

I went to his room and got his lamby.

He left lamby. He had his lamby from birth.

It made me cry.

There's something so off about your posts. Quite disturbing.

Let’s hope he flies.

tryingtobesogood · 25/09/2025 16:57

Slinky987 · 20/09/2025 02:31

Our family is dissolving.

It's killing me.

I promise you, he’s not gone!!! In this day and age they never really leave

BigAnne · 25/09/2025 17:30

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 25/09/2025 16:55

There's something so off about your posts. Quite disturbing.

Let’s hope he flies.

🍷🍷🍷

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