Do you judge people who have never left their home towns?

[Waferbiscuit]

Genuinely curious to ask if you judge people who have never left their home towns?

I grew up in a family of diplomats who had lived around the world. We were really encouraged to move away and experience life in other cities and countries. I appreciate that is a privileged mindset and an experience that is not available to all. But I think my parents really felt that staying in your hometown your whole life with a friend group/social milieu you made in primary school limited or 'fixed you' in that time and didn't give you opportunity to grow.

I get what they mean but I'm also aware that in the past humans basically stayed within their communities and, unless they were part of nomadic tribes, didn't really aim to move away. At the same time I've lived in places in the UK (towns in Scotland, the midlands) where people not only stayed put but wanted to live across the street from their mom and down the road from their aunties - which I find a bit too tribal!

I read a book called David Goodhart called The Road to Somewhere in which he sort of divides the UK population into 'Somewheres' and 'Anywheres.' Somewheres are very rooted in their community, place matters and they see the world through that community. Whereas Anywheres are more modern, educated internationalist types who basically aren't grounded in their community and will happily move about for the right jobs. Somewheres tended to vote for Brexit, Anywheres against Brexit. This is a simplistic summary of his book but I thought it was interesting.

Anyway, is the view that it's good to move away unusual or normal and do you judge people who never move away?

That's exactly it, both positions have their benefits. My family is nomadic, and each one has ended up far from their start in life and far from each other. It's great and interesting, but also has set backs.

My parents both lived in different countries when younger before they met each other also in a few different counties. My brothers and myself have lived in multiple places, including overseas, my sisters haven’t, whilst I see how each way suits some it has been extremely limiting for my sisters. So whilst they have community easily they remain hard up financially. I make my own community wherever I go as do my brothers but we are all outgoing, my sisters are shy. I couldn’t wait to get away and see more of the world. When I go back home the same people I went to school with are in the same pubs and we left decades ago.

Only if they're small minded, but plenty of small minds in people who have lived elsewhere also!

No. I don't give enough of a shit what other people do to bother judging them.

If it's good enough for the Royal family, it's good enough for me.

This. What other people do is literally none of my business, so why waste energy on it?

So I’m am anywhere as is my background.

I’m an older single parent now back where I grew up. All my friends are somewhere (as you call them), content, great family networks, proper back up etc.

i have no one except my mum and son. But we’re

That worries me as I head into my 60’s. my larger anywhere family is literally everywhere (not like OP but global family).

im starting to wonder whether it’s too late to put down roots and really belong to a community and a place.

I think that is oversimplified tbh. However, I do think that there is a mindset that often accompanies those who have never exposed themselves to new experiences or places. It can make their world view a bit narrow. My in laws are very like this and I don't think my SIL has ever forgiven my husband for moving for a job and building a life elsewhere. The children are now young adults and have incredibly limited aspirations and ideas about what they could do with their lives. They talk about travel from.time to time, but never actually do it. They did all vote for brexit i think.
Having said all that, despite travelling lots and also living in various different places and countries, I ended up settling very close to where I grew up. Im extremely happy and there is a richness to my life due to the close relationships and support I gain from my family. After nearly 2 decades, I am also very fond of the community and friendship bonds I have built. I'm also aware that for me at least, experience has shown that my family relationships have proved incredibly resilient compared to some.friendships.
I've made considerable efforts with my own children to expose them to travel and different cultures and experiences. What difference this will make to their outlook is yet to be seen. One is quite a home bird, whereas the others are more adventurous seeming.
Interesting question.

I don't judge people as such for not moving around. Sometimes I wished I'd stayed where I grew up but I've moved around like a tumbleweed in the wind and I'm glad I did. It's enabled me to meet different people and have life experiences which if I'd stayed I never would have done.
That being said, I'm now a single woman of a certain age and I'm moving back ( within 15 miles) of where I grew up, because out of everywhere, it feels like I belong.

I’ve stayed in my home area for all of my 56 years, even lived just 100 yards from the hospital where I was born for quite a few years. We’re 20 minutes from a major city yet our close backs onto an AONB so we have the best of both worlds.
We love to travel and see the world though.

All that being said, we’re in the process of moving 35 miles away soon. The area itself has changed and not for the better and we have very few family members left around here.

No. I have plenty of friends and family in my home town that have never moved. Wouldn't dream of judging them. They seem to have perfectly nice lives and I am sometimes jealous a bit as I moved abroad and going back seems more anxiety riddled and complicated than never leaving. Even though part of me is tempted.

No, it wouldn’t occur to me to judge someone just going about living their life. I’m widely travelled but would be more likely to
judge someone judging someone for not leaving their home town.

I moved to the sort of place where no one leaves.

Most of the children mine go to school with have parents who attended that school themselves.

No, but having moved around so much, both as a child and an adult, inc. many years overseas, I can’t quite imagine it. Must be nice in a way, though. I know only one person who’s lived her entire life in the same place, and most of it in the same house.

I wouldn't judge them, but often it does seem to affect people differently..I grew up in a fairly rural Sussex village. Moved to London on marrying . Then to Surrey. A lot of my friends didn't learn to drive, often didn't work. I lived 30 miles away,was always expected to visit them, they were horrified at the idea of getting on a train. I lost touch with them, they were so narrow minded,we had nothing in common. It used to be called "village Mentality". They still live there now 50 years later. I have a neighbour like this,born just up the road, worked just down the road,walks the dog in the park in the next road.

Most of my friends went away to uni for 3 years to experience a bigger city, came back and lived at home to save for a deposit and bought locally, and have subsequently had the advantage of local family for support when they've started a family etc. I was the same. It's worked out well for me but it's not for everyone. I don't judge either way.

In addition to my previous comment, I find it fascinating that many of the people that have commented that they don’t judge also seem to think that people who have never lived anywhere other than their hometown have lead ‘sheltered’ lives or haven’t ‘exposed themselves to new experiences or places’ or don’t have ‘aspirations’. It’s not being said nastily but very naively! I am incredibly well travelled, i’ve experienced many different cultures, exposed myself to all different kinds of people and experiences and I have been able to afford to do that because I have stayed in my small, cheap hometown! I’ve been able to provide those experiences to my son because I haven’t had to fork out for childcare, or commuting etc because I stayed here and so money I might have spent on moving continually or living I. More expensive areas have gone towards experiences and travel!

Its interesting, I was born elsewhere from where I was born so was my husband but we now live in one town. We are looking at moving to another town that is hopefully quieter now we have older daughter in uni and college. We are well travelled and so are our daughters.

I disagree with most posters. You are describing people unfairly.

I know many people who have lived in the same place but are very adventurous, learnt languages, met new people, travelled for work for short times, travelled extensively and are very adventurous.

so not at all like the people described.

Honestly no because for various reasons I live in the town i was born ive travelled but ive stayed because of family because ive children because I'm caring for people because many many things its not an issue

Jack80,was born elsewhere from where you were born, What's that "born again"..I'm not labelling my old school friends unfairly. I always had to go and visit them,They didn't learn to drive, didn't go out of work, didn't travel,go abroad,eat a curry (wouldn't trust that foreign food) after a few years,we had nothing in common,there was no conversation,"how's your mum",,who lived a few minutes walk away.

What an interesting thread.

I'm an Anywhere who has lived in 4 European countries. I have really enjoyed the explorations I've made but found every place has its pros and its cons.

In the end I never moved back home and love where I live now, but I deeply miss not having family close by, so I am really envious of Somewhere's for that aspect of life. I have put roots somewhere with very good transport links but it's not the same.

I agree @MrsTerryPratchett that it has to be a genetic, and the variety has been important to our survival. I think that relates to every single aspect of behaviour. It wouldn't exist if it didn't have survival value.

i do judge people who never leave their local area for day trips, or shopping etc.,
i met someone who moved to a nearby town and told me she is worried she will become one of those people who never leave the town

@OhNoNotSusan what's your reason for judging them?

After living in London for 30 years, I would gladly not leave my local area for a long while. If I was still able to drive, it would be different. But the thought of getting a train anywhere makes me groan. I do it because I have to - but I can understand why someone wouldn't.

Weirdly, I don’t judge people who stay where they are from in London (let’s face it, if they can afford to).

I’ve lived all over the shop, but I lived in London for 7 years. I knew lots of people who lived in the borough all their lives, so did their parents, they would never leave.

London is far more diverse and you have so much more culture around you than the shitty little midlands town I’ve ended up in (because we were priced out of London).

There is no diversity here and the ones who have stayed for generations are mostly closed minded.