Family funeral 5 hours away 38 weeks pregnant

[thechicks]

FIL has recently passed away. I will be 38 weeks pregnant on the funeral date, funeral is a 5 hour flight away. DP originally said no to travelling that close to my due date, their family are piling pressure on to be there. I am really torn between being ok with her going and being really not ok with it. DP's family are unlikely to react well if they tell them they aren't going. I'm totally torn on what to do.

If you are flying what are the airline restrictions? Can you flight that late on? I would make sure my DH was at his dad's funeral even if I couldn't go.

I wouldn't fly myself at 38 weeks.

You can’t fly at 38 weeks, no airline will allow it.

This

Unless you're talking about your DP not going?

I wouldn’t go but i think he needs to

She’s taking about whether her partner should go, I think.

I'm definitely not going, I wouldn't be able to fly. It's whether DP goes.

Are you asking if you should go or if your partner should go?

It's their dad and they should go if they want to.

Edited as I didn't read properly and assumed a male partner, sorry!

She's talking about her DP going, not her.

That's the dilemma solved then. No flying allowed.

I thought so, given it’s their father, who tbh out any history, I would say yes they should go.

As a midwife I wouldn't recommend it and I highly doubt you would find a midwife/doctor to sign a fit to fly letter (although I'm not sure you would find an airline to take you anyway).

I don't think OP is going to the funeral either way - no airline will take them - but this is about their bereaved DP going alone, or not.

This is a different kettle of fish to the stag do thread also ongoing at the moment. Not least because DP is apparently onside. I think you have to let DP decide and say you will support their decision. How long would the trip be? There is a real risk they will miss the birth, do you have anyone who could be there?

It’s less than ideal but I think you need to make it clear to him that you’re happy for him to go and that the decision needs to be his own. Nobody can make a decision for him and pressure from both sides will only make it harder.

sorry for your loss.

I think they should probably go, although I can understand you being worried about it so close to due date.

Op, I think, hard though it is, your partner needs to go to her father's funeral. She will almost certainly be back before you go into labour. I'm sorry you both have to deal with this sad time at the same time as the beginning of such a huge new stage in your lives.

As it's his dad, I think he should go, but only if you have other support and people around you who can help you if you go into labour.

In this scenario I would let your partner decide on what they want to do and support then whichever option they choose. There is no ideal option so I think either way it will suck for her, so support her decision I think.

If your partner wants to go, they should.

Absolutely not. DP might miss the birth of their child. There are other ways to grieve and show respects. Can the funeral be put online.

My family are further away than DP's, no friends I'd feel comfortable with having in the delivery room. It's that part that's worrying me. It's not been a straightforward pregnancy, but not enough complications to make it a definite no to DP going either. But then it's only two days and there's obviously no guarantee I'd go into labour in those two days.

Your partner should go and get a flight back the same evening of the funeral

Well you clearly can’t go don’t endanger your health or be pressured

Partner should definitely go.