Vegetarian not catered for

[ParrotsAteThemAll]

Invited to a bbq this afternoon, just had the message they haven’t got any vege burgers/meat alternatives. Of course I could buy my own, but why should I? The meat eaters will be having burgers, sausages, chicken whilst, yet again, I’ll be offered a salad and bun.

This happens all the time and for years I just accepted it, as I was the awkward one. I’ve mostly had to cook my own too, usually in the house as the host ‘doesn’t know how to cook a vege burger’! Surely this day it’s easy to grab something vege from any supermarket, big or small. I’m not even fussy what brand!

I’ve bought a nice bottle of wine for the host and a nice dessert to take, tempted not to take it now. Of course I’ll go enjoy the company, probably eat beforehand,

Any other veges find this frustrating, or should we accept we’re the difficult ones and take our own food?

I wouldn’t expect veggie food necessarily at a BBQ.

do they know you’re veggie?

I’ve got coeliac disease so I can’t have normal breads or pasta or pizza and I usually ask in advance and if not (which is common) I just grab something from the freezer or pick something up.

I’d rather do that than eat something worth gluten in it although I appreciate being veggie is slightly different.

If I’m inviting people for any event that involves food then I’d make sure I provide something they’re able to eat. Are these close friends/family? Because if they consistently do it then I’d assume they either haven’t bothered to think about you or are trying to be petty.

Would you be ok with your veggie burgers being cooked on the same BBQ? PIL are pescatarian but predominantly eat veggie, if they were coming I wouldn't do a BBQ because I'm not sure they'd be comfortable with veggie burgers cooked next to meat ones. I do always cater properly for them though and we're happy to eat veggie so it's easy. BBQs are a bit of a meat fest. In this situation as the host I would've asked the BBQ question and got things in depending on that, or used the oven for veggie bits if that was better .

Well, at least they warned you, but it is a bit weird. Clearly not the first time you have been to this kind of event with these "hosts". We are not vegetarian but I would definitely try to provide something you could eat - presumably whoever did the shopping forgot, again. Eating before you go might help et the message across that they invted you and failed to cater adequately, but frankly if they haven't got the message by now, I wonder if they ever will.
I'd be tempted not to take the dessert and to spend the equivalent money on something you can eat. Up to you whether you eat it before you go, or take it with you to hammer home the fact that they failed to cater for you.

This is actually a good point I hadn’t thought of.

I’m veggie.

veggie burgers and sausages are if anything easier to cook than meat ones.

lots Of people in my area/my friends are veggie and even scout and school bbq tend to have veggie these days.

i always used to take a (big, substantial) salad to eat if the host cba to provide food for me.

If you invite someone you cater for them, being Vegetarian is hardly unusual or extreme is it?
Having said that I know DD (veggie) wouldn't eat from someone elses BBQ as she can't be sure there is no cross contamination - we have a tray we use for meat when we BBQ as we are around 80%Veggie anyway.
They are being rude

@ParrotsAteThemAll What sort of food would you like at a barbecue? If you were doing a barbecue for yourself and vegetarian/vegan friends, what would you have?

If I’m inviting someone for food, I expect to cater for any dietary requirements they may have - and a salad and bun isn’t really catering for vegetarians! Vegetarian BBQ food is hardly difficult.

How bloody rude to invite you and not cater for you!

I assume they knew you were veggie before inviting you? It does seem like they haven't put any effort in.

Our vegan friends bring their own kettle BBQ when they visit- because they won't eat anything from our meat infected BBQ. They also won't sit on our leather sofa.

My in-laws used to do this all the time. Invite for Sunday lunch but state they had nothing for me. I actually quite like just roast vegetables but I always interpreted it as ‘you’re not important and we can’t be bothered’. I don’t bother much with them now.

I'm not veggie but we always have vegetable skewers brushed with harissa or pesto or similar, halloumi, corn on the cob, and some good salads with quinoa or couscous , beetroot tzatsiki etc , could add veggie burgers and veggie sausages. I went to a BBQ recently and it was just sausages, chicken, burgers and bread buns I eat meat but it wasn't great! I think the veg and side dishes make it a proper meal

They sound fun.

I know you weren't asking me but anyway
We don't like most meat subs so we BBQ large flat mushrooms, Cauliflower "steaks" that have been marinaded in middle Eastern spices, Aubergines, Halloumi or paneer and courgettes
DS eats meat and I do if I fancy it so we might have some fish or chicken in a separate tray on the BBQ
Tomato salad, green salad, couscous salad, crusty bread
Job done

meat infected BBQ

well that's you told !

I'm a vegetarian, I;d say the issue they're concerned about is cross contamination, probably accidental . (But there might be someone who just doesn't care about your choices )

That all sounds delicious.

I wouldn’t expect much, I’d be happy with a vege burger of any kind and presume there would be some salads to go with it.

I was veggie for a long time. I always took my own alternatives to a bbq.

I wouldn't sit on my parents leather sofa , not because of my beliefs ( I don't wear leather /wool/feather ) but because I'd slip off the bloody thing !
Mum had a wooden/upholstered chair , I used that

Surely this day it’s easy to grab something vege from any supermarket, big or small. I’m not even fussy what brand!

Some people are fussy about brands though. I know plenty of vegetarians/vegans who either won't eat Quorn/meat substitutes or won't eat bean/vegetable based burgers.

I'm coeliac and I'd far rather bring my own stuff that I know I like than have someone pick something from the free from section which is often horrible and expensive.

can I come to one of your bbq’s 😋

I am vegetarian and wouldn't trust anyone other than my DH to cook my food on a BBQ. We have separate coloured handled tongs and plates to avoid cross contamination.

Having said that, I do think it's rude that the hosts don't offer an alternative.

Obviously it's fine if it's a host that knows me and knows I would rather bring my own pre cooked food, but otherwise I would to be catered for.

That’s true, I know vegetarians that don’t eat processed meat alternatives. If I was that ‘fussy’ I would say in advance that I’d bring my own food.

What dessert have you got for the BBQ (I'd eat it myself and probably feel sick after )

My sister is veggie and they have 2 bbqs one they use to only cook veggie food on and one for meat. As a meat eater I don't have 2 bbqs but I would offer to cook all the veggie stuff first or use only one side of my flat top bbq (1m wide cooking surface so plenty of room) alternatively I would oven cook the veggie burgers.

Some people are legitimately concerned over cross contamination so I understand but completely shitty of them to do this last minute to you. It feels very dismissive and uncaring.