What were you not prepared for when you had kids?

[Catsandcannedbeans]

For me I was not prepared for how much they touch you. All the time. Grubby little hands, grubby little feet, grubby little face in my face. I didn’t know I’d be a human climbing frame. Weirdly, when I am away from them I kind of miss it, but when they’re climbing all over me first thing in the morning it does piss me off a bit. They climb on their dad a lot as well, but for some reason I am their climbing frame of choice.

Also I didn’t realise breast feeding was a bit of a piss around. It was for me at least. I assumed because it’s natural it would just be easy and simple, but no. Honestly the whole time I was doing it I was just thinking “this better be as good for them as people make it out to be”.

The grief when they're old enough to move out 😔

The possibility that they may develop a serious medical condition, epilepsy. My worry is now a 1000 times greater than it ever was.. 💔🥺😞

ADHD

You get the kid you get

You don't pick

You don't choose

Your child is as they are: and they are your responsibility.

Its mind boggling, the responsibility

How freaking messy weaning is.

The fact that I love my girl more than life itself and how it feels like there's a piece of my soul walking around outside my body.

Totally this. For both. Every time they'd latch I'd cringe in anticipation of the pain. And I feel like breastfeeding has left me with a permanent hunch because I'd be bracing with the pain.

Same!! Sitting up with him now after just completing a 5 hour drive…I’m tired…

And DH to die when they were 5 and 7 so all the responsibility is mine alone, and it regularly crushes me.

There’s been so much joy too, honest, just not so much this year!!

How much time I'd spend fixing stuff. From taping together torn pages in books to trying to rebuild a wooden Pinocchio marionette that was given as a souvenir from Italy and got trapped in a drawer. Sellotape and glue are essential accessories.

The repetitive questions. Current favourite of 4-year old is "what will we do tomorrow morning?" even though it's only 8am today morning! Repeated at least 10 times during the day, just let us get through today first, please!!!!!

Night terrors. I literally thought the police would get called most nights for around a year. Horrible (and I’d imagine worse for the poor child)!

Nothing can be left around, glasses of water will get smashed, makeup, nail.varnish ruined if left out . Important documents all need to be put away or up high or they'll get lost/destroyed.
I get annoyed with guests (in my head) for not knowing these things eg they'll leave their cup of tea lying around while they go to the loo and said cup will get knocked over by a flying toy. Everything needs to be policed with young kids , it's exhausting!

I remember feeling ao over touched when they were little. Now mine are all older teens. If I'm really lucky I might get a half arsed hug once a day from one of them!

The water bottle and plastic container cupboard- so true!

How quickly they become their own person, with their own opinions, views & thoughts.
Now that my 3 are all adults, I love it and they thank me frequently for encouraging & supporting them to be their own person.
Never believed in the " kids should be seen, but not heard ", mentality.

I’m not a parent, but this such a sweet thread (and horrifying in places 😂) xx

I could never have imagined how opinionated a 2 year old could be! DD refused to wear most of her clothes at that age, unless they were a particular colour. I would get her dressed in something perfectly nice and she would go and take it off and put something else on. In the end it wasn't worth the struggle and she dressed herself (but lots of gifted clothes went unworn) and I could never buy her anything without her there. DS, on the other hand couldn't care less about clothes and would still wear clothes I buy him now (he's nearly 16 and I'm strongly encouraging buying his own clothes!!)

That you love them so much. Their going off to university was so heart wrenching. They are now flourishing adults with families of their own. We are so proud of them but it’s hard to see they don’t really need you at all and face the fact that they are beginning to see you as an elderly person.

@LaughingCat
Wishing you a safe and speedy delivery!

You can have the cupboard but you can't have too many bottles at once. Because there are so many different types, colours, textures and trends. If you think you can get ahead of your child by buying things in bulk (this applies to many things actually, snacks especially) they will then no longer like said snack/bottle/other heavily purchased item. And suddenly your on Vinted at 10pm trying to flog 30 matching water bottles whilst paying premium next day delivery for yet another but different water bottle.

It's all good fun and worth it when their face lights up with their latest water bottle choice though

I didn’t expect the emotional load, how completely all consuming parenting is. Even now my daughter is almost 11.
I didn’t expect the messes to get worse as she got older instead of better. I mean, there are no nappies anymore obviously, no toilet accidents, rarely puke and I’m not wiping food off the walls. But there are still endless crumbs wherever she eats, sticky rings where cups and glasses are left, toothpaste smeared in the sink, bracelet beads in every crevice, slime, endless nagging to tidy up after herself, bring down her washing, not to eat food on her bed. It’s one of my most hated parts of parenting as a tidy person- mess. Her dad is tidy too, she sees us being clean and tidy, why isn’t she?
I didn’t expect fussy eating.
Pre- teen friendship dramas are also the utter worst.

I’m with you on the climbing frame bit. I think when your breastfeed as well, it feels like they are constantly “on you” we co sleep too so literally touching what feels like 24/7 and it’s overstimulating AF. The elbows hurt and I’m always covered in little bruises 😫

The huge and unrelenting increase in laundry.

The fact that you think things will eventually get back to normal. They don't - your life completely changes and settles into a different normal. One you can't control.

When they get sick
when they get picked on at school
when they break your things
when they’re so truthful it’s offensive
when they wreck your sleep
when you lose a bit of your identity cuz now you’re mom.
However, when they get older & they have an awesome sense of humour, they become great company & they appreciate you-it’s all worth it. 🖤

Dd1 was the same - I still bear the scars and she's almost 34! She has been so lucky with her dd and I thought karma might exist!

This!
My now 17 year old has just been diagnosed with ARFID and it's heartbreaking to see how little she eats. Things that were previously 'safe foods ' that she can no longer get even look at.

Nits and threadworms !

The constant fight to get them the support they need.
My youngest showed early signs of autism from around 18 months but it was put down to bad parenting (single parent)/attention seeking/bad behaviour. I even had one consultant ask me "why are you pushing so hard for a diagnosis, would you want them diagnosed with cancer so bad?"
The resulting consequences at school, being left out of social activities....he's never been invited to a birthday party, and then the constant suspensions at secondary school and meetings that followed. He's now age 16 and after a total breakdown last year, has finally been diagnosed with autism, PDA, ADHD, sensory processing disorder, global development delay and dyslexia! I could cry for all the opportunities he has missed out on 😢