Friend wants to invite 30 people to her baby shower

[bipbopdo]

My friend has asked me and two others to organise a baby shower for her. She wants to invite 30 people. We’re all geographically spread out and the party is supposed to be in August. I would dearly love some advice on how to pull this off!!

When she first asked I thought there would be max 15 guests. I’m not sure how to cater for 30 people when we won’t have access to a decent kitchen (long story).

I’ve hosted many, many, mannnyyyy baby showers and this is pretty spot on.

I doubt thirty would come at such short notice particularly if they are travelling.
i would either-
Hold it at friends house (free)
Hire a church hall (fairly cheap)
or do cream tea style but everyone pays for themselves (and you guys cover bride)
if you are going option one or two for food I’d do a buffet , get sandwiches trays etc from Costco or similar.
Plan fames - guess the weight/gender/dob, memory book
Make a balloon arch for photos and little photo booth props. Some decorations/favours. (Fairly cheap on Amazon or similar)
That’s about it surely other that some background music (Spotify playlist)
i would discuss a budget with two friends somewhere around £100 each is probably realistic. You could ask guests to chip in £5 -10 each for it if costs are spiralling.
if I was paying that much, that would be my gift though . (Or I’d get a small token gift)

re debate on wether they are a ‘thing’ I had 2 kids 20 plus years ago and they definitely weren’t a thing where I lived. First one I got invited to was around 15 years ago. I’ve been to ones at peoples houses/church halls and restaurant style ones. I’ve paid for myself/shared payment of mum to be and not been asked to contribute.

My understanding was it’s the mom/sister/aunts that host the party and carry the financial burden which makes sense to me. It can be more problematic with friends especially since when their besties are in need, the favour may not be returned since they may feel their hands are already full with their little one/s. Also with time, friendships often get less strong so those have babies later in the'r friends group have less support this way. Also makes sense the close family pay and organise since they will likely forever be in that mom/baby’s life.

I don't 🤔 that's on at all - maybe organising it, but not expecting you to cover all the costs for 30 people. That is so entitled! We had a baby shower for my daughter with the same number, but at home. Because of COVID at the time it was also staggered and socially distanced over an afternoon and evening. My niece and I shared the costs and with Prosecco and a designer cake it was expensive!

Exactly. At most, book a venue and leave the rest to her. Defo No to paying. She’s an entitled CF (but I accept I see baby showers as grabby and commercial).

If the mother to be is greedy enough to want one - she pays and organises!

So she’s saying “I want a big baby shower for 30 people in peak holiday season (most of whom probably don’t care about it) and you guys will need to pay for it? Bloody cheek if you ask me.

And also expect a bunch of gifts for the baby too.

My child is in his teens (just). I’m an older mum and didn’t have a baby shower. I’ve never been invited to one. (It’s not that in don’t have loads of friends with children either.) Hardly know anyone who has had one. It’s a not a tradition. Only a very recent thing.

August will get a nightmare. I bet loads of people will be away. I cannot see people from all over the country attend a baby shower. Unless I’ve missed something here?

If you find feel comfortable then say no. Especially say no to someone like that. Doesn’t appear to be much of a friend either with that behaviour. No way should you pay for it! Incredibly entitled. Wow.

And @IdaGlossopwow. No way! Not for someone so entitled.

You're right. I wouldn't do it. But the OP might.

Any update?

I did my sister a baby shower but it was a lovely afternoon tea that everyone paid for themselves including a contribution to Mums.

Everyone brought a gift or flowers but then she didn’t receive gifts again when the baby was born.

I just organised a few games, favours and balloons. My mum paid for balloons.

I suggest you do similar, catering for 30 adults is going to be a lot of money as well as decor/games/gifts.

We’ve decided to go with a potluck garden party, which helps to minimise the stress and cost to us. It wasn’t easy to get consensus though. One of our co-hosts kept pushing for us to cater an entire afternoon tea for 30 people by ourselves.

I hope everyone is paying their share although imo the cost should be met by the mother to be as she wants the party.

Surely whatever "best" is what the mother to be wants?

Imagine responding to your mate who is inviting you to her baby shower "no thanks, your baby might still die!"

If you didn't do things on the superstition that something bad might happen (bearing in mind the incredibly low neo-natal death rate in the UK) then you'd never do anything.

What happened to your friend was horrific but A) the chances of that happening to your average m2b is incredibly low, and B) some people might get comfort from the fact that their child still had one celebration all about them

Zombie thread.