Why do people feel the need to correct me when I talk about earning more money?

[AmusedTaupePlayer]

I’ve noticed that whenever I mention wanting to earn more—whether that’s asking for a raise, talking about my salary goals or planning side-hustles—someone always swoops in to tell me I’m doing it “wrong.” Comments range from “That’s so materialistic” to “You should focus on passion, not paycheques” or “Are you just in it for the money?” It happens with friends, family, even colleagues.
I’m genuinely curious:

• What’s behind this urge to police someone’s income goals?
• Do people see a moral failing in chasing financial security or ambition?
• Is there a broader assumption that money-focus equals greed or shallowness?
• Have any of you experienced this “correction”? How did you handle it?

I’m not saying money is everything, but I don’t see why aiming for stability, freedom or the ability to give back should invite judgment. So, Mumsnetters—why do you think some folks feel compelled to harp on someone’s choice to prioritise earnings? Am I missing something here? Thanks in advance for your honest thoughts! 😊

It's a view among the people i know, the everyone should go to uni. Not my view at all.

Your ex was just talking nonsense, hoping that money would fall from the sky so he could buy whatever he wanted without making smart, intelligent choices or putting in hard work to achieve his goals.
There’s nothing wrong with people pursuing careers and jobs that offer high salaries while doing everything within reason to achieve their goals.
Perhaps because you don't want to, you believe people shouldn't aim for high-paying jobs and financial success.

"I thought OP was a man actually, the style of writing is more like a man, but then that might just be because the people who design the AI robots are mostly men."

This feels quite sexist.
It's an interesting perspective, but assuming that writing style equates to gender—or suggesting that AI or anyone using a particular tone must be male—seems like a stretch. Writing styles vary widely across individuals, regardless of gender, and associating assertiveness, logic, or structure with masculinity only reinforces outdated stereotypes. Let's give everyone (and the OP) a bit more credit.
There are countless women excelling in AI and earning impressive salaries.

Yes, there are women working in AI, but let's not pretend that systems aren't still designed on the whole using men as a default. I said nothing about logic, structure or anything else, I said the style seemed more like a man. There are differences in how the genders write. I prefer reading books by female writers.

I have no problem with people wanting earn high salaries. I know a lot of people on very high salaries and living very nice lifestyles. I do have a problem with people who go on about their high salaries, or even worse, people who drone on about their plans to earn a high salary.

Working hard and making smart decisions is admirable and interesting and by all means I'd like to hear about how you're doing in your career and the steps you're taking in it. I don't need to hear you bragging about your current or future salary prospects, it's crass and vulgar, on a man or woman.

It's true that systemic bias exists in tech, including AI development, and acknowledging it is important. At the same time, we should be cautious about generalizing "male" or "female" writing styles, especially with limited context. While studies suggest there may be statistical tendencies in language use across genders, these tendencies aren't fixed rules, and individual variation is significant.
My concern was more about how easily these associations can turn into stereotypes, even unintentionally. For instance, saying a certain tone "feels more like a man" could imply that tone doesn't belong to or isn't expected from a woman, which risks reinforcing narrow ideas.
I believe the OP is a woman, and I disagree with the notion that a woman couldn't write the way she did. It's still sexist.
Preferences in authorship are completely valid, and I understand enjoying writing by female authors—I often do too! I just think it's important to stay mindful of how we discuss gender and expression, especially in shared spaces.

It's not really the point is it.

We don't know the gender of OP for sure, but my point was that my finding the topic (of how much you think you're going to earn) distasteful and dull isn't in the least bit affected by if it's a woman or a man saying it. It's equally off putting from both.

It’s literally rammed down children’s throats in schools.

I am 65 and my father aways taught us that its vulgar to speak about money. I have carried that with me through my life. It comes from old fashioned values where there were different classes. Speaking about money is said to be common.

Doesn’t mean it is right

The teachers teaching this have university degrees. Are they wealthy?

Did I say it was right?