Why do people feel the need to correct me when I talk about earning more money?

[AmusedTaupePlayer]

I’ve noticed that whenever I mention wanting to earn more—whether that’s asking for a raise, talking about my salary goals or planning side-hustles—someone always swoops in to tell me I’m doing it “wrong.” Comments range from “That’s so materialistic” to “You should focus on passion, not paycheques” or “Are you just in it for the money?” It happens with friends, family, even colleagues.
I’m genuinely curious:

• What’s behind this urge to police someone’s income goals?
• Do people see a moral failing in chasing financial security or ambition?
• Is there a broader assumption that money-focus equals greed or shallowness?
• Have any of you experienced this “correction”? How did you handle it?

I’m not saying money is everything, but I don’t see why aiming for stability, freedom or the ability to give back should invite judgment. So, Mumsnetters—why do you think some folks feel compelled to harp on someone’s choice to prioritise earnings? Am I missing something here? Thanks in advance for your honest thoughts! 😊

In Britain kids from working class backgrounds often go after money because they know what it’s like not to have much. And kids from wealthy middle class backgrounds always go after money because they want what their parents have and their parents know that the alternative sucks. While kids of the lower middle classes are encouraged to do something interesting or “follow their passion” … which usually ends twenty years down the line with them complaining about their salary.

Do you talk about money a lot?

Ambition and being financially savvy are completely different things to taking incessantly about money and earnings. The latter is crass in both women and men unless you are taking to your financial advisor. Discussing financial matters and careers in more general terms is fine, but that doesn’t sound like what the OP has been doing.

Thank you! English isn't my first language, so I think I often miss on subtleties.

They may well be trying to manage your expectations a little…maybe they don’t have faith that you can do it and are trying to help you see positives in the alternatives without outright telling you that it’ll never happen?

About AI writing ... I find it's just flat. And I guess like fake nails, fake ... fill in the gaps, they don't have the value of real, imperfect things.

also there are programs that spot AI so it won't do you any favours in job applications.

I was scrolling for this post

Because it’s just such a boring thing to talk about , it’s not a conversation is it, it’s you talking at someone. Where’s the connection?

out of interest op, what’s your salary for this job you are starting, what salary do you see as good.

40k for a grad scheme consulting in london

And what’s your ambition salary wise, assume this is your first full time job?

Do you mention it a lot? Maybe if you do you come across as self absorbed and materialistic! They greatest achievers don’t talk about what they want to achieve they just achieve

I would imagine it’s because people genuinely don’t give a fuck.

I am dying to know why you keep making the posts that you do, OP

Conversations about money in the UK are regarded as vulgar and common.
My late father who wasn't born in this country talked about money and wealth constantly so it was a shock to the system to me when starting work that no one ever talked about money.
It's a culture thing I guess.

No I wouldn't ever do law. I started with a different career in the public sector, then switched to civil service.

You asked in a previous post how we did it. We paid our mortgage for ~£500000 house off as fast as possible and won't move until we can do so either mortgage free or borrowing £150000 or less. This will make it very easy to overpay and become mortgage free again quickly. We have not inflated our lifestyle at all since the time I was earning £28000 in the first year of my career. Our goal is to pay off mortgage then load everything into pension savings. Have a look at FIRE (financial independence retire early) if you're interested. It's not for everyone.

This doesn’t seem like an authentic post, it’s like you’re researching for an opinion piece article.

I find talking about money distasteful. My family don't know how much I earn and I have a modest lifestyle. What I do say is I'm aiming to maximise my income before retirement so I can get a very high superannuation balance (sort of self funded pension in Australia) and be comfortable when I retire. Ideally I'd like a 300-400k salary for the five years pre retirement. So I've got to push, push, push now.

It relates to the cultural aspects of our country.
Keep making the right choices for your financial health. Be proud of your intelligent and smart financial decisions, protect your future and wealth, but always stay cautious of people you don't fully know or trust.
Never discuss financial matters with people you don’t fully know and trust. Some individuals may feel resentful, jealous, or envious, and they might even go online to spread false and negative claims about you.

I think that you don't discuss career aspirations if you are young and the audience is at a different stage of life. Eg a woman of 50 who works part time in a shop. She may think you are looking down on her aspirations. Also if another young person is not good at school and is in a basic job, it would be unkind to talk about your aspirations. This is because they can't do as well as you and it sounds like you are making them feel small.

It may be ok to talk abput aspirations to close friends who are on a similiar path.

I know that this secrecy can make it difficult to find out about careers. When I was young, I was very good at school. I studied business because it is important to do something you like. No one ever spoke about money. I finally realised, when I was in my 30s trying to buy a house on a small salary. I know I should have gone into something better paid like IT as I was an A and B student and very consciencious.

It upsets the status quo for women to be financially powerful

deep rooted misogyny I would say

Urgh, my workplace are like this. God forbid someone want to do a different corporate job to earn more cash and not altruistic reasons 🙄

You're seen as not a good cultural fit if you talk about money. It has to all be love of the job.

I actually think it's a sneaky way to keep people's wage expectations low.

I agree that openness about money is not a typically English trait.

A friend of mine worked in the USA for many years, and adopted many American habits. I remember being with her once during a visit home when she asked a self-employed relative how much “he made”. Everyone else in the room visibly winced!

He gave a typically non-committal reply such as “oh I get by”.

It isn't seen as very British to talk about being rich. Totally the norm in pakistani culture though. Money = power here I'd say.

This was my first thought

If one of my friends was up for promotion and/or a pay rise I'd congratulate them and be happy for them

but if every conversation always came back to money, and great plans for making more it would get old fast

The fact you're getting it from so many people makes me thing you're probably in the 2nd group. It gets boring especially quickly if it's always a lot of talk and no action!