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Original poster

Anyone have any idea how I can stop my neighbour from doing this when I have already tried talking to him?

218 replies

zingerdoot · 03/07/2025 22:28

My neighbour keeps doing something and it's got to the point where he's actually doing my head in now because he doesn't need to be doing it and two he won't explain why he is.. I have spoken to him but it's still happening..

Family came round to my flat once and knocked on the door, As I was walking down the stairs to answer I heard my neighbour come out of his flat and say 'She never answers her door can I give her a message?' Thought it was odd as I opened the door but didn't really think anything of it, Until it happened again. Basically if he ever sees anyone knock at my door he will go out and tell them I never answer the door.. I do answer the door and I'm not sure why he thinks I don't so I spoke to him about it and he refused to talk to me about it and closed his door.

Now over the last month I have not been getting any parcels delivered, ALL of them have been delivered to neighbour, I have never ticked the box to say deliver to neighbour and I am always in as I work from home, I just get notification that parcels have been delivered then when I check he has them.

Managed to catch dpd driver today handing neighbour my parcel so I asked in front of neighbour why he keeps delivering my stuff to my neighbour when I'm at home and he's not even knocking on my door, dpd guy said my neighbour always comes out and either tells him i'm not in or I never answer the door.

Anyone have any ideas on how to stop my neighbour from saying this? It's gone passed being strange for me and it's now starting to piss me off. I have lived here with zero issues for ten years, he moved in a year ago. We live in flats but each have our own front doors so I have no idea why he is even near mine at all to be doing this in the first place, it's not a communal entrance.

for the record I do answer my door when people knock and I have no idea why he thinks i don't.. It's at the point now where family think I'm not in and don't bother knocking sometimes..

OP posts:
GAJLY · 04/07/2025 09:45

I'd shout at him in front of people to stop telling people nonsense and to stop grabbing my parcels!

Utterlyconfusednow · 04/07/2025 09:48

@ALPS100 Exactly. Sounds like a control thing going on,

Original poster
zingerdoot · 04/07/2025 09:55

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

not 100 per cent sure of his age but i would guess he's around 30 ish..

thanks everyone, think i'm just going to get my stuff delivered to local shop instead, also never thought of a wired camera! will be looking into that today.

forgot to mention last night when i posted that he also told friends of mine that I go out after midnight and stay out all night, I don't do that either!

OP posts:
Myrobalanna · 04/07/2025 09:57

If he's that young, honestly I'd want the police to be aware. I bet he has mental health problems. But just in case of escalation, maybe call 101 and ask how to get his behaviour logged?

ElCorazon · 04/07/2025 09:57

Wildhorsesdraggedme · 04/07/2025 01:23

Get a ring doorbell and see if you can use a WiFi booster.

I have a similar weird neighbour, he doesn’t tell people I don’t answer the door but he hangs around outside my door literally for hours.

He lives in the flat above mine then we have a communal entrance that’s right in front of my front door as a porch area. He stands in front of my front door that opens into my living room for hours at a time and hardly seems to sleep, he was out there between 3 and 6am this morning.

I have started spending the majority of the time in my bedroom at the back of my flat but I don’t really mind as it’s the same size as the living room and we have a tv and sky and a king sized bed so generally find it more comfortable with more privacy. My neighbour wouldn’t be able to hear a thing when we are in the bedroom so god knows what he gets from it!

I got a ring doorbell fitted when he started being even odder and moving my parcels left in the porch and friends and even the postman noticed him constantly hanging around. He went absolutely ballistic about the camera but I finally had proof to pass to the police, on one occasion he’d spent 7 hours hanging around with the occasional breaks he where he went outside to smoke or briefly returned to his flat. He spends far more time outside my door then in his flat he pays rent on, he’s even put a table and chairs outside the communal front door so he can open the porch door and sit outside for hours on a sunny day but still be outside my door.

He was arrested and I had a good 5 months when he was on bail and left me alone but as he hasn’t been directly threatening (verbally or physically) and don’t have proof of him damaging property or doing anything they can actually arrest him for the CPS wouldn’t take it to court. He’s clever enough now to stand just out of sight of the camera but so I know he’s there, as it’s communal no one can do anything.

I have reported him to the landlord repeatedly and for making noise and other strange behaviour but he comes across as a sane, reasonable and decent person, I think the landlady is just starting to see through him.

Now the camera makes me feel a bit safer that he’s not going to try to enter the flat or get too close to the door as he’s aware of it and hates the idea of it picking up any footage of him, he fought hard to contest it for breach of privacy but was told he’d only appear on footage if he came too close so to stay away!

He has started hanging around and shouting outside my kitchen window as I’m on the ground floor and the camera doesn’t pick it up, he’s absolutely unhinged but my flat is perfect for me and I’m not moving. It’s been going on for 5 years so unfortunately it doesn’t seem he is either.

He has a partner who we can hear him being abusive and violent towards, I’ve reported it countless times but his girlfriend denies it, it’s sad seeing how broken she’s become. My partner has tried reasoning with him but he tries to start a fight and he scares us, I don’t think I could live in my flat alone.

Don’t let it escalate OP, get the camera and as much proof as possible, if not a ring then look at something like a nanny cam. Update your delivery notes not to drop any packages with neighbours and try to catch and drivers or the post person so you can tell them directly.
I’m currently in a dispute with Amazon after shampoo and conditioner were delivered to my neighbour by accident and he left the open parcel at my door with the seal on shampoo and conditioner broken, no way am I using it now 🤢.

I don’t know if your neighbour is as creepy as mine or possibly just fancies you and is making excuses to talk to you but it doesn’t matter. Keep a diary too, the police took my complaint a lot more seriously with it all documented.

I would beat him at his own game. You should sit outside your own flat too (working, reading a book, listening to music, doing your nails, having phone calls etc..) and when he asks you what you are doing there just tell him the fact that you live there and feel like sitting there. Surely, he can’t tell you not to!? If he sits there with you too, just pretend he is not there and keep doing your thing. Have shifts with your partner. Do this until he gets fed up/bored and leaves you to it.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 04/07/2025 10:09

dpd guy said my neighbour always comes out and either tells him i'm not in or I never answer the door.

A delivery driver should never take that as gospel without trying the doorbell first. This is how so much stuff ends up nicked.

ElCorazon · 04/07/2025 10:09

zingerdoot · 03/07/2025 22:28

My neighbour keeps doing something and it's got to the point where he's actually doing my head in now because he doesn't need to be doing it and two he won't explain why he is.. I have spoken to him but it's still happening..

Family came round to my flat once and knocked on the door, As I was walking down the stairs to answer I heard my neighbour come out of his flat and say 'She never answers her door can I give her a message?' Thought it was odd as I opened the door but didn't really think anything of it, Until it happened again. Basically if he ever sees anyone knock at my door he will go out and tell them I never answer the door.. I do answer the door and I'm not sure why he thinks I don't so I spoke to him about it and he refused to talk to me about it and closed his door.

Now over the last month I have not been getting any parcels delivered, ALL of them have been delivered to neighbour, I have never ticked the box to say deliver to neighbour and I am always in as I work from home, I just get notification that parcels have been delivered then when I check he has them.

Managed to catch dpd driver today handing neighbour my parcel so I asked in front of neighbour why he keeps delivering my stuff to my neighbour when I'm at home and he's not even knocking on my door, dpd guy said my neighbour always comes out and either tells him i'm not in or I never answer the door.

Anyone have any ideas on how to stop my neighbour from saying this? It's gone passed being strange for me and it's now starting to piss me off. I have lived here with zero issues for ten years, he moved in a year ago. We live in flats but each have our own front doors so I have no idea why he is even near mine at all to be doing this in the first place, it's not a communal entrance.

for the record I do answer my door when people knock and I have no idea why he thinks i don't.. It's at the point now where family think I'm not in and don't bother knocking sometimes..

Keep inviting Jehovah’s witnesses, door-to-door salesmen, charity workers to your address and see if he opens the door again. If he complains, tell him that you never open your door and please can he talk to them instead and keep passing their messages to you.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 04/07/2025 10:11

You are going to have to talk to him again. Tell him to STOP. It takes time for you to get down the stairs, he needs to give you that time. You could also leave a note on your delivery instructions to asbolutely NOT leave any parcels with a neighbour if you are not home. If they ignore it just refuse to collect it and tell them you want a re-delivery or a refund. Or use those collection box things.

Utterlyconfusednow · 04/07/2025 10:11

zingerdoot · 04/07/2025 09:55

not 100 per cent sure of his age but i would guess he's around 30 ish..

thanks everyone, think i'm just going to get my stuff delivered to local shop instead, also never thought of a wired camera! will be looking into that today.

forgot to mention last night when i posted that he also told friends of mine that I go out after midnight and stay out all night, I don't do that either!

Show quote history

What do your family and friend say to him?! Aren’t they telling him to stfu??

Springtimehere · 04/07/2025 10:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JollyBoysOuting2025 · 04/07/2025 10:18

To be honest, by this stage I would be having a quick appointment with a solicitor and get a “cease and desist” letter sent to him.

He’s WAY over the boundaries here. Also, I would be contacting your parcel delivery people (Amazon, DPD, etc) and giving special instructions that under no circumstances should your parcels be going anywhere near Number 999.

Fight back, OP.🌺

Just to add - I had “difficult” neighbours a few years back, & I made certain to let parcel firms know that my parcels should not go to them…. It worked.

Whattodo1610 · 04/07/2025 10:22

Quite honestly, I’d ring 101 and chat it through with them - it’s very weird behaviour and making you feel very uncomfortable and vulnerable. They will take it seriously.

Sugargliderwombat · 04/07/2025 10:31

Sounds a bit stalker-ish to me. He wants you to come and knock and wants to interact with your family, he also got a conversation out of you about saying you don't answer. Maybe he's imagining hearing you go out at night?

Utterlyconfusednow · 04/07/2025 10:34

JollyBoysOuting2025 · 04/07/2025 10:18

To be honest, by this stage I would be having a quick appointment with a solicitor and get a “cease and desist” letter sent to him.

He’s WAY over the boundaries here. Also, I would be contacting your parcel delivery people (Amazon, DPD, etc) and giving special instructions that under no circumstances should your parcels be going anywhere near Number 999.

Fight back, OP.🌺

Just to add - I had “difficult” neighbours a few years back, & I made certain to let parcel firms know that my parcels should not go to them…. It worked.

No. 666!

GameOfJones · 04/07/2025 10:50

I would also log it with 101.

Your friends and family should be saying "yes she is in, you've been asked before to stop lying and it's none of your business anyway" Rather than ignoring him.

I would add delivery instructions wherever you can that say "NEVER GIVE MY PARCEL TO MALE NEIGHBOUR AT NUMBER X. HE KEEPS STEALING THEM."

Do you own the flat? We got a wired doorbell and it's brilliant.

MyQuirkyTraybake · 04/07/2025 10:50

You can't control him but this would drive me insane too. Could you put something in the delivery notes when ordering? "Please knock on my door and hand parcel only to me. Thanks! :)" if they give parcel to neighbour, contact the place and say parcel hasn't been delivered. If they say to the neighbour, point out your delivery note and ask for full refund as neighbour is hostile. Completely ignore neighbour, never acknowledge, he's after a reaction from you. Once he realises you'll never react, he will have no motive to keep doing this. He's clearly a sandwich short of a picnic.

Rainbows41 · 04/07/2025 10:51

ElCorazon · 04/07/2025 09:57

I would beat him at his own game. You should sit outside your own flat too (working, reading a book, listening to music, doing your nails, having phone calls etc..) and when he asks you what you are doing there just tell him the fact that you live there and feel like sitting there. Surely, he can’t tell you not to!? If he sits there with you too, just pretend he is not there and keep doing your thing. Have shifts with your partner. Do this until he gets fed up/bored and leaves you to it.

Show quote history

I love this!

MyQuirkyTraybake · 04/07/2025 10:54

Whattodo1610 · 04/07/2025 10:22

Quite honestly, I’d ring 101 and chat it through with them - it’s very weird behaviour and making you feel very uncomfortable and vulnerable. They will take it seriously.

What can the police do? Genuine question. The guy is lying, not breaking the law. Unless there's something about property here, taking OPs stuff by deception? They don't even come out for burglary anymore. I'd say OP is better off using her energy to take practical measures, installing a wired ring door bell and so on but I'd be interested to learn more about how the police could help in this situation as the law is so nuanced and complex. The more you know!

FOJN · 04/07/2025 10:57

You've had plenty of good suggestions to manage the inconvenience caused by his behaviour but quite honestly I think it's alarming.

I would start to keep a record of each event and I would contact the National Stalking Helpline for additional advice. If you need to involve the police, I think you should, it will be helpful to have collected the kind of information they can use to take action.

I appreciate he just seems a bit weird and on the face of it he's just causing inconvenience but I would take it very seriously, there is obviously something very wrong with him.

https://www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

National Stalking Helpline

Support victims of stalking through the National Stalking Helpline and London Stalking Support Service, as well as training for organisations in Lone Working and Personal Safety as well as Stalking Awareness. We want to reduce the risk of violence and...

https://www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

Myrobalanna · 04/07/2025 10:59

MyQuirkyTraybake · 04/07/2025 10:54

What can the police do? Genuine question. The guy is lying, not breaking the law. Unless there's something about property here, taking OPs stuff by deception? They don't even come out for burglary anymore. I'd say OP is better off using her energy to take practical measures, installing a wired ring door bell and so on but I'd be interested to learn more about how the police could help in this situation as the law is so nuanced and complex. The more you know!

Show quote history

Logging suspicious behaviour - which let's face it has more than a whiff of the stalker about it - is absolutely valid.

Unlikely there will be any action except making a record of a complaint in case of future escalation.

Personally I would be calling to ask for advice. Who better than from the police?

potenial · 04/07/2025 11:01

add a note to your parcels in the delivery instructions - "PLEASE KNOCKAT FRONT DOOR! Neighbour at ## has been stealing parcels by saying I'm not in. If no answer, please leave with Neighbour at YY, NOT ##"

I'd also make a report to local police, so it's on file.

Finteq · 04/07/2025 11:01

Ok

But I wpuld hope you're in contact with your friends or family.

Just tell them you have a very weird neighbour and to ignore him.

Text them all right now and tell them to ignore the neighbour if he days your not in.

Also with deliveries there is sometimes a box you can fill with instructions. Write in that box your parcel is not to left with that neighbour, that he gives false information and that they should wait for you to open the door as you will be in your flat.

Trovindia · 04/07/2025 11:03

Do ask if the following:
Post him a letter by recorded delivery telling him to stop or you'll get a cease and desist order
Get police to talk to him
Put a note on your door
Get a parcel box for your deliveries
Put details in all delivery notes

annzen · 04/07/2025 11:08

Would your family/visitors actually believe this man that you are not in, never in, stay awake all night and so on?

Come on, surely they would text you from outside to see where you are or at the very least ring your doorbell before believing this randomer. I reckon most people would do that especially family/friends.

whynotwhatknot · 04/07/2025 11:11

i would get legal advice or call the non ermgency police-hes stalking you