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Anyone have any idea how I can stop my neighbour from doing this when I have already tried talking to him?

218 replies

zingerdoot · 03/07/2025 22:28

My neighbour keeps doing something and it's got to the point where he's actually doing my head in now because he doesn't need to be doing it and two he won't explain why he is.. I have spoken to him but it's still happening..

Family came round to my flat once and knocked on the door, As I was walking down the stairs to answer I heard my neighbour come out of his flat and say 'She never answers her door can I give her a message?' Thought it was odd as I opened the door but didn't really think anything of it, Until it happened again. Basically if he ever sees anyone knock at my door he will go out and tell them I never answer the door.. I do answer the door and I'm not sure why he thinks I don't so I spoke to him about it and he refused to talk to me about it and closed his door.

Now over the last month I have not been getting any parcels delivered, ALL of them have been delivered to neighbour, I have never ticked the box to say deliver to neighbour and I am always in as I work from home, I just get notification that parcels have been delivered then when I check he has them.

Managed to catch dpd driver today handing neighbour my parcel so I asked in front of neighbour why he keeps delivering my stuff to my neighbour when I'm at home and he's not even knocking on my door, dpd guy said my neighbour always comes out and either tells him i'm not in or I never answer the door.

Anyone have any ideas on how to stop my neighbour from saying this? It's gone passed being strange for me and it's now starting to piss me off. I have lived here with zero issues for ten years, he moved in a year ago. We live in flats but each have our own front doors so I have no idea why he is even near mine at all to be doing this in the first place, it's not a communal entrance.

for the record I do answer my door when people knock and I have no idea why he thinks i don't.. It's at the point now where family think I'm not in and don't bother knocking sometimes..

OP posts:
catholicsinspace · 04/07/2025 00:26

Sounds like weird stalker behaviour in that he's being determined in forcing contact. Definitely get a door notice and a wifi booster for a camera doorbell.

Wildhorsesdraggedme · 04/07/2025 01:23

Get a ring doorbell and see if you can use a WiFi booster.

I have a similar weird neighbour, he doesn’t tell people I don’t answer the door but he hangs around outside my door literally for hours.

He lives in the flat above mine then we have a communal entrance that’s right in front of my front door as a porch area. He stands in front of my front door that opens into my living room for hours at a time and hardly seems to sleep, he was out there between 3 and 6am this morning.

I have started spending the majority of the time in my bedroom at the back of my flat but I don’t really mind as it’s the same size as the living room and we have a tv and sky and a king sized bed so generally find it more comfortable with more privacy. My neighbour wouldn’t be able to hear a thing when we are in the bedroom so god knows what he gets from it!

I got a ring doorbell fitted when he started being even odder and moving my parcels left in the porch and friends and even the postman noticed him constantly hanging around. He went absolutely ballistic about the camera but I finally had proof to pass to the police, on one occasion he’d spent 7 hours hanging around with the occasional breaks he where he went outside to smoke or briefly returned to his flat. He spends far more time outside my door then in his flat he pays rent on, he’s even put a table and chairs outside the communal front door so he can open the porch door and sit outside for hours on a sunny day but still be outside my door.

He was arrested and I had a good 5 months when he was on bail and left me alone but as he hasn’t been directly threatening (verbally or physically) and don’t have proof of him damaging property or doing anything they can actually arrest him for the CPS wouldn’t take it to court. He’s clever enough now to stand just out of sight of the camera but so I know he’s there, as it’s communal no one can do anything.

I have reported him to the landlord repeatedly and for making noise and other strange behaviour but he comes across as a sane, reasonable and decent person, I think the landlady is just starting to see through him.

Now the camera makes me feel a bit safer that he’s not going to try to enter the flat or get too close to the door as he’s aware of it and hates the idea of it picking up any footage of him, he fought hard to contest it for breach of privacy but was told he’d only appear on footage if he came too close so to stay away!

He has started hanging around and shouting outside my kitchen window as I’m on the ground floor and the camera doesn’t pick it up, he’s absolutely unhinged but my flat is perfect for me and I’m not moving. It’s been going on for 5 years so unfortunately it doesn’t seem he is either.

He has a partner who we can hear him being abusive and violent towards, I’ve reported it countless times but his girlfriend denies it, it’s sad seeing how broken she’s become. My partner has tried reasoning with him but he tries to start a fight and he scares us, I don’t think I could live in my flat alone.

Don’t let it escalate OP, get the camera and as much proof as possible, if not a ring then look at something like a nanny cam. Update your delivery notes not to drop any packages with neighbours and try to catch and drivers or the post person so you can tell them directly.
I’m currently in a dispute with Amazon after shampoo and conditioner were delivered to my neighbour by accident and he left the open parcel at my door with the seal on shampoo and conditioner broken, no way am I using it now 🤢.

I don’t know if your neighbour is as creepy as mine or possibly just fancies you and is making excuses to talk to you but it doesn’t matter. Keep a diary too, the police took my complaint a lot more seriously with it all documented.

GreenSedan · 04/07/2025 01:29

Crikey @Wildhorsesdraggedme

That's bloody awful 😮

ladykale · 04/07/2025 01:35

Omg please move house asap

Wildhorsesdraggedme · 04/07/2025 01:42

GreenSedan · 04/07/2025 01:29

Crikey @Wildhorsesdraggedme

That's bloody awful 😮

I know and I’ve spent years trying to deal with it, he is becoming weirder and weirder so I think that’s why OP needs to get a handle on the situation as soon as possible.

I get hundreds of camera notifications a day where I just get the odd glimpse of him, that way I know he’s there but it’s rare he’s fully in shot. It definitely makes me feel safer as before he was in touching distance of the door, now he hangs back a bit.

I just don’t know what he can possibly get from it, he can’t hear anything as we rarely sit in the living room now, it just seems to be a power play.

Hopefully if OP can find a way of fitting a camera she has both proof and a deterrent. It worries me her neighbour is trying to keep people away and isolate her. I’d go to the police with a diary of incidents as well - even if it’s just for advice. I’d spoken to the police on several occasions about my worries about domestic violence before I made a proper report so they had it all logged.

ScreamingBeans · 04/07/2025 01:44

Cherrysoup · 03/07/2025 22:46

Here’s an idea: go speak to him and ask why the FUCK he keeps intercepting parcels and talking shite about you never answering the door! Use your words.

Use your eyes. She wrote that she has already done that.

ScreamingBeans · 04/07/2025 01:46

This is harassment. I think I would be tempted to tell him that if he does it again, I will report his behaviour to the police. And then do if he does.

And yeah then I'd move.

Cardinalita90 · 04/07/2025 02:13

Not to scare you, but I'd have concerns about this escalating into stalking or harassment with the parcels. Can you set a "safe place" delivery option? I know you're in anyway but if he's going to tell them you're not, having a designated safe place would give you grounds to kick off if they go against that and leave it with him.

MayaPinion · 04/07/2025 02:22

Wildhorsesdraggedme · 04/07/2025 01:23

Get a ring doorbell and see if you can use a WiFi booster.

I have a similar weird neighbour, he doesn’t tell people I don’t answer the door but he hangs around outside my door literally for hours.

He lives in the flat above mine then we have a communal entrance that’s right in front of my front door as a porch area. He stands in front of my front door that opens into my living room for hours at a time and hardly seems to sleep, he was out there between 3 and 6am this morning.

I have started spending the majority of the time in my bedroom at the back of my flat but I don’t really mind as it’s the same size as the living room and we have a tv and sky and a king sized bed so generally find it more comfortable with more privacy. My neighbour wouldn’t be able to hear a thing when we are in the bedroom so god knows what he gets from it!

I got a ring doorbell fitted when he started being even odder and moving my parcels left in the porch and friends and even the postman noticed him constantly hanging around. He went absolutely ballistic about the camera but I finally had proof to pass to the police, on one occasion he’d spent 7 hours hanging around with the occasional breaks he where he went outside to smoke or briefly returned to his flat. He spends far more time outside my door then in his flat he pays rent on, he’s even put a table and chairs outside the communal front door so he can open the porch door and sit outside for hours on a sunny day but still be outside my door.

He was arrested and I had a good 5 months when he was on bail and left me alone but as he hasn’t been directly threatening (verbally or physically) and don’t have proof of him damaging property or doing anything they can actually arrest him for the CPS wouldn’t take it to court. He’s clever enough now to stand just out of sight of the camera but so I know he’s there, as it’s communal no one can do anything.

I have reported him to the landlord repeatedly and for making noise and other strange behaviour but he comes across as a sane, reasonable and decent person, I think the landlady is just starting to see through him.

Now the camera makes me feel a bit safer that he’s not going to try to enter the flat or get too close to the door as he’s aware of it and hates the idea of it picking up any footage of him, he fought hard to contest it for breach of privacy but was told he’d only appear on footage if he came too close so to stay away!

He has started hanging around and shouting outside my kitchen window as I’m on the ground floor and the camera doesn’t pick it up, he’s absolutely unhinged but my flat is perfect for me and I’m not moving. It’s been going on for 5 years so unfortunately it doesn’t seem he is either.

He has a partner who we can hear him being abusive and violent towards, I’ve reported it countless times but his girlfriend denies it, it’s sad seeing how broken she’s become. My partner has tried reasoning with him but he tries to start a fight and he scares us, I don’t think I could live in my flat alone.

Don’t let it escalate OP, get the camera and as much proof as possible, if not a ring then look at something like a nanny cam. Update your delivery notes not to drop any packages with neighbours and try to catch and drivers or the post person so you can tell them directly.
I’m currently in a dispute with Amazon after shampoo and conditioner were delivered to my neighbour by accident and he left the open parcel at my door with the seal on shampoo and conditioner broken, no way am I using it now 🤢.

I don’t know if your neighbour is as creepy as mine or possibly just fancies you and is making excuses to talk to you but it doesn’t matter. Keep a diary too, the police took my complaint a lot more seriously with it all documented.

That sounds awful. Have you thought of using music as a deterrent? Don’t laugh, it appears to be quite impactful at deterring antisocial behaviour.

www.police1.com/bizarre/articles/5-things-to-know-about-fighting-crime-with-classical-music-wKqDTRPjOjgxtxx3/

Notgoingtooutmyselftoday · 04/07/2025 03:30

I’m horrified reading this. You are being stalked by someone you know go be abusive and violent.

I know you shouldn’t have to move but I think I’d have to in your situation. You say you love your flat but it sounds like you're only using half of it due to avoiding this creep!

TwinklyNight · 04/07/2025 03:42

There is something wrong with him, maybe make a video of you telling him not to intercede your deliveries or tell people I don't answer preferably with a friend who can video the conversation and be a witness. Let him know if he does it even one more time that you are calling police. Maybe you could still try to get a door cam installed, if your previous ones won't connect maybe it needs to be hard wired in by a security company? Good luck.

DreamTheMoors · 04/07/2025 05:04

You need to escalate this, either with a large male friend or relative or with the police. You pay this dude a visit with your backup.

And you find your fury. You tell him if this doesn’t stop, trouble’s coming. And hell’s coming with it.

It’s time to put the scare on the other foot.
isn’t it.

Figcherry · 04/07/2025 05:18

Cherrysoup · 03/07/2025 22:46

Here’s an idea: go speak to him and ask why the FUCK he keeps intercepting parcels and talking shite about you never answering the door! Use your words.

Op has already spoken to him, it's in her first paragraph so why don't you use your eyes and read properly.

Cherrysoup · 04/07/2025 05:21

Figcherry · 04/07/2025 05:18

Op has already spoken to him, it's in her first paragraph so why don't you use your eyes and read properly.

Why don't you rtft? I already said I was sorry for missing that. Ffs.

user1492757084 · 04/07/2025 05:42

Buy a large metal lockable parcel box for near your front door - fix it blocking your neighbour's view.
Instal a Doorbell and a camera. Place large, tall, pot plants at your entrance. Also look into buying a louder alarm that sounds with movement. It sounds whenever anyone larger than a dog is at your door.
Call Police to report any tampering with your parcels or door. Proof on camera.

chatgptsbestmate · 04/07/2025 05:44

There's something squewy in his brain or he's a stalker type person or both

Ideas - get all parcels and post delivered to a pick up point. Ask anyone who you know is visiting to ring your mobile to tell you that they've arrived, speak to the Police and ask what they suggest, speak to a lawyer and ask what they suggest.

Move

Daisy12Maisie · 04/07/2025 05:53

Get parcels delivered to a local pick up point and tell friends and family about the weirdo neighbour so they can just tell him yes she does answer the door and wait for you.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 04/07/2025 05:55

Honestly I think you should contact the police for advice. I'm not sure if it would be stalking or harassment but he's doing it on purpose.

chatgptsbestmate · 04/07/2025 05:56

Buy a large metal lockable parcel box for near your front door

We have one of these at work. Its excellent .....but guess what?....some couriers / Royal Mail staff "don't see it" 🙄😬

VehicleTracker77 · 04/07/2025 05:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Thingyfanding · 04/07/2025 05:59

nopineapplepizza · 03/07/2025 23:49

Most companies have “special delivery instructions” you can add to the order. Make sure you fill that in every time with capital letters saying not to give it to creepy neighbour in flat X, but to knock and you will answer.

Hopefully that will ensure some get to you at least.

This is what I was going to suggest. Most drivers do read this special instructions.

ONLY DELIVER TO MY ADDRESS- NEVER TO MY NEIGHBOUR AT NUMBER X

Petuniaspetal · 04/07/2025 06:02

When ordering whatever is in your parcels if it gives an option for additional information add that in no circumstances must parcel be given to any neighbour. Contact dpd, royal mail evri or whoever and explain issue.

24CRZZNKKA · 04/07/2025 06:03

Cherrysoup · 03/07/2025 22:46

Here’s an idea: go speak to him and ask why the FUCK he keeps intercepting parcels and talking shite about you never answering the door! Use your words.

'Use your words' I hate when posters write this!! The OP isn't a child.

I see you have now apologised tho cherrysoup as the OP has indeed used her words. I bet you feel a tad silly now. Hopefully you won't be so patronising next time

spoonbillstretford · 04/07/2025 06:04

Surely actually answering the door solves the problem and rebuts the presumption that you never answer your door.

terracelane23 · 04/07/2025 06:06

That’s really odd. Some of the delivery companies have the option to give specific instructions so you could write “do not deliver to neighbour”.